Associate
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I think she is cheating……
- Thread starter Magic_x_uk
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Caporegime
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Where on earth do you get that from?[TW]Fox;11920817 said:
Absolutely agreed.[TW]Fox;11920817 said:
Soldato
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If you really love her, give her the benefit of doubt. What if she were arranging a secret party for you and texting someone who was going to DJ or something... "OMG AFFAIR".
Just chill out, if things seem fine, they most likely are
Keep checking up on her covertly until your satisfied though
Just chill out, if things seem fine, they most likely are
Keep checking up on her covertly until your satisfied though
Soldato
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Just remember, if you don't talk about it, it didn't happen.
hey I'm getting on a bit, just sharing life experience. I don't have a son to pass this vital information on to.Can I give a word of advice?
Don't snoop. The risks aren't worth the perceived gains, because there aren't actually any gains.
I've made some big mistakes the past few days, and as a result have probably alienated the most important person in my life. I'm that friggin stupid. Even more stupid actually.
The first time I snooped, I confronted her about something. She explained it and I had gotten the wrong end of the stick. But she forgave my betrayal of her trust.
So what do I go and do last night, snoop some more, because I still cannot accept the reason it has ended, thinking there must be more to it.
I found something else. I didn't change the situation, but it was more information than I realistically needed to know. Not knowing would have done me no harm.
But knowing, and asking about it, letting her know that I had betrayed her again, means that I have just pushed her further away, and pretty much messed up any chances of her trusting me ever again.
For what?
Nothing.
I have lost the chance to still have her in my life as a friend, for nothing.
Having lost something this important to me, it is not a lesson I will ever forget
Don't snoop. The risks aren't worth the perceived gains, because there aren't actually any gains.
I've made some big mistakes the past few days, and as a result have probably alienated the most important person in my life. I'm that friggin stupid. Even more stupid actually.
The first time I snooped, I confronted her about something. She explained it and I had gotten the wrong end of the stick. But she forgave my betrayal of her trust.
So what do I go and do last night, snoop some more, because I still cannot accept the reason it has ended, thinking there must be more to it.
I found something else. I didn't change the situation, but it was more information than I realistically needed to know. Not knowing would have done me no harm.
But knowing, and asking about it, letting her know that I had betrayed her again, means that I have just pushed her further away, and pretty much messed up any chances of her trusting me ever again.
For what?
Nothing.
I have lost the chance to still have her in my life as a friend, for nothing.
Having lost something this important to me, it is not a lesson I will ever forget
I had the EXACT same thing from my ex. One day I arrived home and she was waiting for me with one of those looks on her face as if I'd done something horribly wrong. She had what she thought was my mobile phone in her hand with the messages folder open with incriminating evidence of outgoing messages to arrange to meet up with some other girl. Yes, the messages were real and indeed intended to arrange dates with someone else. Pity it was my friend's phone who I had round the night before. We didn't last long after that. I couldn't trust her and she couldn't trust me by the looks of it.
Moral of the story is, don't accuse anyone of anything without full and proper evidence. Like in my case where she thought she had evidence, it was someone else's bloody phone, so be 100% sure first before trying anything on with her.
Moral of the story is, don't accuse anyone of anything without full and proper evidence. Like in my case where she thought she had evidence, it was someone else's bloody phone, so be 100% sure first before trying anything on with her.
Can I give a word of advice?
Don't snoop. The risks aren't worth the perceived gains, because there aren't actually any gains.
I've made some big mistakes the past few days, and as a result have probably alienated the most important person in my life. I'm that friggin stupid. Even more stupid actually.
The first time I snooped, I confronted her about something. She explained it and I had gotten the wrong end of the stick. But she forgave my betrayal of her trust.
So what do I go and do last night, snoop some more, because I still cannot accept the reason it has ended, thinking there must be more to it.
I found something else. I didn't change the situation, but it was more information than I realistically needed to know. Not knowing would have done me no harm.
But knowing, and asking about it, letting her know that I had betrayed her again, means that I have just pushed her further away, and pretty much messed up any chances of her trusting me ever again.
For what?
Nothing.
I have lost the chance to still have her in my life as a friend, for nothing.
Having lost something this important to me, it is not a lesson I will ever forget
Trust it's better off if you're friends, cut all contact, it will be too hard
That was the plan, cut contact for a few months, then try and see if we can be friends, as we both mean a lot to eachother.
But my actions, especially after she forgave me the first time, might mean even that won't work, I've done nothing but given her perfect reasons not to trust me.
BLEAK
I just wish you could learn from mistakes without actually making them.
I'd have felt exactly the same way if I was her.
If your phone looks the same as hers, was in your place and there was nobody else around, that's pretty damning evidence with very little ways out.
That said though, it depends on how she approaches the situation. She'd have had plenty of time to stew on it.
Exactly, i dont think she was out of order to put 2 and 2 together in this situation
Even if it was it proves that she does not trust me anyway, as she feels the need to go through my phone looking for evidence. I didn't go though hers. I neglected to mention that this is not the only time she's done this and been proven wrong.
Her snooping through your phone's pretty unfair, you're spot on.
Her having that information though, I wouldn't have blamed her for getting moody.
Not being the first time is also a sign of mistrust. Fair play, you were spot on.
Casually phone/talk to her parents asking what her and they were doing at 5pm?
If they say "she wasnt round here" you know that your GF is lying to you for some reason. It might not be for a bad reason (could be planning a nice surprise for you)
What do the texts say? Could just be work stuff or usual friend stuff.
You could MSN the sister back, pretend to be your GF, and basically say
"so what do you think i should do about this guy at work"
She will then spill the beans thinking that you are the GF.
It will give you hard evidence. Only problem is: if you are wrong and she is innocent you have dug a massive hole for yourself to get out of.
Its a tough one to snoop or not snoop. Generally dont snoop but if your gut instinct says somethings wrong then yeah snoop. But only after trying to have a face to face full disclosure talk ie give her the chance to tell the truth and be honest before you go behind her back snooping
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