I think she is cheating……

[krooton]

From someone who gets paranoid very easily.. let it ride. Time will tell if she is or isn't.

Yeah, finding out that she is now won't make it any easier, finding out that she isn't by way of breaching trust though, can makes things very bad.

 

[Solari]

Keylogger on the PC will answer all your questions

 

[cdcopyman]

ask her , easy as that , if she asks why you suspect , tell her , she her reactions. then you will know.

 

[Dublove]

I had the EXACT same thing from my ex. One day I arrived home and she was waiting for me with one of those looks on her face as if I'd done something horribly wrong. She had what she thought was my mobile phone in her hand with the messages folder open with incriminating evidence of outgoing messages to arrange to meet up with some other girl. Yes, the messages were real and indeed intended to arrange dates with someone else. Pity it was my friend's phone who I had round the night before. We didn't last long after that. I couldn't trust her and she couldn't trust me by the looks of it.

Moral of the story is, don't accuse anyone of anything without full and proper evidence. Like in my case where she thought she had evidence, it was someone else's bloody phone, so be 100% sure first before trying anything on with her.

Similar situation I was in. Dumped for cheating when I totally did not.

4 year relationship, I was dropping her off somewhere in London and meeting some old friends to catch up. She saw email between me and 'Sarah' discussing when to meet and where.

I could certainly see how it would look except the girl absolutely refused to accept reality, including other emails & texts from the other two guys I was meeting at the same time. The ultimate issue was her own insecurities. Sure it was a shock to the system for a few months but now I think good riddance!

 

[SentineL-X]

It doesn't sound good!

I know everyone's saying don't snoop, but it's very hard to do so when you think something is going on! Especially if you love her as much as you say you do. It's natural to feel protective of something/someone you love and you don't want to lose them!

Tread carefully, and if you do decide to snoop, make sure you can't be found out. That way no one will be hurt!

 

[cleanbluesky]

I know everyone's saying don't snoop, but it's very hard to do so when you think something is going on! Especially if you love her as much as you say you do. It's natural to feel protective of something/someone you love and you don't want to lose them!

So in other words, spying on her is an act of love... for her own good.

 

[cleanbluesky]

KEYLOGGER WILL REMOVE ALL UNCERTAINTY

 

[Slam62]

I think it's all over mate, sorry but I don't think you're mature enough.
You should never snoop - beginning of the end.

 

[SentineL-X]

So in other words, spying on her is an act of love... for her own good.

No, not at all! I'm just trying to understand where he comes from.

I would rather know one way or the other and not be second guessing if it was my girlfriend doing those things, and being pretty good with computers I WOULD know soon enough to then make a decision one way or the other.

At the moment he's in pergatory, neither here nor there and hence why he's asking for help. There is no right or wrong way to do this, it all depends on what your morals mean to you and what you follow and abide to.

Obviously everyone is different and do different things and fair enough. I just wish him all the best and hope it works out well.

 

[DannyDan]

So in other words, spying on her is an act of love... for her own good.

It may not be the most trustful thing to do, but does it really matter? If she's doing nothing wrong, she never needs to know that he spied on her. If she's cheating, he can get rid of her without the months of pain while he doesn't know what's going on.

I have been involved with married women and the lies that they are willing to tell the person that they supposedly care about most are quite unbelievable. A keylogger would sort it out once and for all with no doubt.

 

[-Colli$ion-]

Maybe you guys are right, maybe I am being paranoid, time will tell, Maybe I am reading into it far too much. Well see.

TBH ignore most people here, trust your gut feeling imo if you have a feeling that something is wrong then there probabily is, well from my experience there usualy is anyway. dont start doubting yourself, look for evidence!

if you smell smoke, then there may be fire!

 

[-Colli$ion-]

but you HAVE been spying on her...

Government Mode on/ ...if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about

 

[Monkey Puzzle]

You could MSN the sister back, pretend to be your GF, and basically say

"so what do you think i should do about this guy at work"

She will then spill the beans thinking that you are the GF.

It will give you hard evidence. Only problem is: if you are wrong and she is innocent you have dug a massive hole for yourself to get out of.

This idea is utter madness!

 

[BigglesPiP]

Change her phonebook so texts intended for him go to you, and you can even pose as him in response.

 

[Karl]

I think it's all over mate, sorry but I don't think you're mature enough.
You should never snoop - beginning of the end.

Haha! The harbinger of doom! The guy's uncertain about whether his missus is cheating on him or not, and it's over already?!

 

[Magic_x_uk]

UPDATE:

She is indeed "Cheating"

Okay, this is why I believe that.

Wednesday we had a great evening. Had a nice evening and had some "fun" you know. 

Thursday was again fine, had the evening off, cooked and had a nice evening, talked about things etc and our holiday in 6 weeks, and bedroom action was as normal!

Friday........... Well......She goes to work, she has already mentioned she is going to the pub after work with some colleagues as one member of staff is leaving. Fair enough. 5 hours later she comes home, fair enough, no problem there, i'm at work anyhow and she said she had a lovely time. If she was at the pub all that time I don’t know.

BUT. She has been texting me during the day / evening and slowly during the cause of the day things seem odd in the texts. Just the wording, (not normal). Hard to explain.

So normally I finish work and call on my way home. Instead I finish early (15 mins) and rush home in the car. Arrive at home, she is surprised, unlocks door and kisses me, holds me, BUT there is this air that she wants to tell me something, something on the tip of her tongue so to speak. You can see it in here eyes. I know her.

Her phone Beeps whilst we are in the Entrance Hall, she leaves it and we talk and eventually go into the kitchen, she goes to fetch me a beer and like a nosey sod,
I pop into the lounge, press a button on her phone and it’s from "HIM" saying "BREATHLESS......."
I couldn't read the rest as it is an "Sony - E" Phone and it would be obvious to her if I had read it. Anyhow, later that night she said it would be from her sister whilst she put it on charge and the message was deleted as it was not there this morning.

When I looked this morning at her phone (30 mins) ago. On Sony Erickson phones when you text someone the most recent people you have text'd appear (A sort of quick send to).
Well my personal Mobile was 3rd in the list, My Work Mobile 2nd in list and "HIS" was 1st in the list.
I have also noticed that the Sent text message counter is no where near the sent message folder contents. It quite a bit higher

I know something is going on with "Him"
It's all lies coming from her mouth, this morning we had "fun" in the bedroom, she is in there asleep right at this moment, she said " She Loves me etc" this morning and looks forward to our holiday.


SO Sorry for such a long post, just wanted to do an update!

Now I’m starting to think of ways to get back at her when and if I confront her.

PS: Anyone got a good free key-logger that can also email the logs discreetly?
may need to install it on her laptop!
Email in trust.

Thanks guys

 

[Participant]

Still no proof imo, but it doesn't exactly sound good. What you should do is post pictures of both of you (her naked) so we can judge whether or not you're worthy.

Just dump her and find someone else.

 

[Richdog]

Listen mate you need to talk to her and confront her about this NOW... don't use a keylogger as if you do this you will set a precedent for yourself that there will be no coming back from.

You have your suspicions, which if the last post is anything to go by is fair imo, and you now have every right to discuss this with her. If you had any sense at this stage you would be a man and do so directly, outlining what you think is going on and why, rather than building it up for weeks with snooping and sneaking. If she has a shred of decency at your heartfelt plea she will come clean either way.

 

[knip]

Sorry but why not just ask her. 9 times out of 10 in cases like this (where you know someone, and know theyre acting different - ive had it happen to me twice so I know what you mean) this being in limbo situation is horrible believe me, and its torture. If it was me, i'd just want to know, and know now.

 

[Slam62]

Haha! The harbinger of doom! The guy's uncertain about whether his missus is cheating on him or not, and it's over already?!

yep if you can't trust her ...

if you don't trust her she will get really fed up and leave