Which is EXACTLY what I did 2 weeks ago, and it backfired horrendously.
A mistake I will NEVER make again!
I think she is cheating……
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Which is EXACTLY what I did 2 weeks ago, and it backfired horrendously.
A mistake I will NEVER make again!
I've been on the receiving end of spying, and demands to see my phone etc when I've been doing absolutely nothing wrong. It just isn't right. My GF could never understand that some things were private. I didn't want her reading my messages, some of them were sent in confidence from good friends, about THEIR problems. So she was wanting to invade my privacy adn theirs.
When that started happening I knew the relationship was doomed. I just wasn't trusted and I can think of nothing worse than being spied on by my other half.
I can understand the suspicion etc, but I've always been of the the belief that if I don't trust someone, and can't resolve it through speaking to them I don't want to be with them. I just call the relationship off. I give people the benefit of the doubt too, something I'm sure you'll agree the person you love should be afforded.
I guess my question is, what are you going to do about your trust issues? Believe me, you will find something to be suspicious about in every relationship, and your antics would eventually trash them all, so I really think you need to address it.
If it does eventually transpire that she's cheating on you dump her. Better off you find out now before you're married or something anyway. Don't look at it as a bad thing as it isn't. If she's cheated on you she's scum and you deserve and will find better.
Soldato
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sorry to tell you this, but im the guy she is texting.... and im nailing her good lol.
Nah only kidding, it is something and nothing. Dont be so paranoid.
Nah only kidding, it is something and nothing. Dont be so paranoid.
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Some of you guys having a laugh at this. I fully agree why you are. I just hope you dont ever get in this situation. It's not nice when you like someone a lot.
Well look at it this way if she finds out what you've done/are doing it's over...
The option with least risk is to talk to her.
Soldato
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Of course its not, which is why you should man-up and deal with the issue. You can't control whether she's cheating, you can't be certain without asking - so ultimately you're choosing whether or not to deal with the issue. If you don't deal with it, you wont lose anything because you never tried, you'll just be in limbo. If you do talk to her, you may screw up BUT the important thing is that you'll have the oportunity to learn from your mistakes.
You with a woman who's cheating on her husband for you??
Soldato
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You're a nice guy... who spies and doesn't trust people and has been 100% honest?
Just talk to her, you have nothing to lose now, you've lost the trust and the relationship will go down the pan. If you let the issue roll on it will eat you up and cause you a lot of hurt but if you talk to her about the issue, she can either set you straight and reassure you and you may be able to rescue something, or she'll get narked you looked and will ditch you or you may be right and she has been cheating. Either way the only action you can do now is talk to her about it.
Soldato
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Mate, i can understand your probably worried. Infact your very worried, but spying and all that isnt a good sign.
Just treat her how you normally would, dont suspect anything unless its obvious.
At the end of the day no matter how difficult it would be if she was cheating, she clearly isnt worth it. But if you love her, want her and its the girl you want to spend the rest of your lift with, treat her like that.
Most affairs etc. happen because in the relationship there is no spark or the other person is just boring and not like they were when they first met one another.
Surprise her, be romantic... if you do something special and she seems to be a little awkward or acting strange you know shes feeling guilty. But if she is overwhelmed with your romantic ability then you clearly no there is no danger in your relationship.... or she is just a sick cheating *****
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I can vouch for how tricky it can be.
When you really care about someone, and something crops up so badly as to make you doubt your trust in them, it really messes with your head.
I'm not condoning his actions, but I can relate to them
Soldato
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I can vouch for how tricky it can be.
When you really care about someone, and something crops up so badly as to make you doubt your trust in them, it really messes with your head.
I'm not condoning his actions, but I can relate to them
I wasn't asking for anyone to justify him, I was just trying to point out that what he is describing isn't the actions of a 'nice guy' and I don't think his justification for spying can be that he's a 'nice guy' - I think its that he's insecure. Which is fine, but this is an important oportunity to admit that and think about how it would feel to be in a relationship with someone who is insecure.
If you're in an insecure relationship, treat it as a learning experience. Stop being insecure, or all your relationships may end up this way.
I can vouch for how tricky it can be.
When you really care about someone, and something crops up so badly as to make you doubt your trust in them, it really messes with your head.
I'm not condoning his actions, but I can relate to them
I agree with this.
Advice is easy to dispense when you're not directly involved in a situation, particularly issues of the heart.
Yeah, but being a nice guy means that you sometimes forget that people can be crap, and when the possibility of someone hurting you in such a way presents itself, you panic.
Yes, out of insecurity, but it doesn't make you a bad person, just someone who has made a mistake.
Ultimately, he does have to learn from it though, as it could indeed mess things up in future relationships if he doesn't.
Soldato
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And its easy to justify behaviour you identify with. Insecurity is the problem here, regardless of whether she is cheating on him or not. MOVE ON, LEARN.
At OP, as most people have said spying is never good as noted many times if you are caught spying on her, how do you think she is going to react.
I know this might seem a silly question but it hasnt come up yet on this whole thread does she know you are checking her phone etc ? (I presume not but you never know always worth asking)
I know this might seem a silly question but it hasnt come up yet on this whole thread does she know you are checking her phone etc ? (I presume not but you never know always worth asking)
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