I think she is cheating……

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Can you not get somebody else to go on holidays with you?

I know i was supposed to be heading to mexico with my now ex, and although im not going there, im going with a few mates to the alps in a few weeks.

In saying that, its taken me about 3 months to actually start to miss her, the first few months i thought it was great going out all the time. Now its starting to get a tad stale.
 
Take someone else on the holiday :D

I hope that you will learn a few lessons and this will help you in further relationships, i've been in your position and she was cheating and i've just used the experience to make myself stronger.

Also before you break up with her try and find out where this party is and turn up, ask her where the party is, if she's being cagey about it then something is up.
 
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Be reasonable by saying that you want her out, but dont pack her stuff.

Say you dont feel the same, you are having doubts etc, and you are 36... you dont want to be 46 when it goes **** up.

Stay out of the way too, say you would like her to get her stuff together , then either go to your familys house while she gets her things together, or stay in one room out of the way.
 
Break both her kneecaps so she can't go to the party.

Or push her down the stairs and bury her beneath the patio. That way, if you can't have her, nobody can. Win!

Hedge said:
Stay out of the way too, say you would like her to get her stuff together , then either go to your familys house while she gets her things together, or stay in one room out of the way.
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Don't do that! She'll nick all your stuff!
 
You are coming around to the right way of thinking. Someone mentioned earlier up that sometimes its hard to see things when you are inside a relationship and greatly affected by your emotions that cloud your judgement. I think thats very true, and has been the case here.

You need to have it out with her - what Id do is say to her you have a "gut feeling" she is cheating (dont mention your snooping it will only give her a source of justification), and give her the opportunity to own up.

Seems like its over anyway - she wont have anything to lose by telling you.

Whatever she says, make no mistake - you are the victim here. Adultery is a choice.

If the house is yours (sounds liek it is) kick her out before you go on your trip. I think thats important, it will give you some closure and also reduce the risk she will do some foolish in it/to it while you are gone.

After that go on your holiday, meet some people, and have a great time
 
Richdog said:
I have to say this and apologies if it sounds harsh, but you come accross as a bit spineless. Threads like this which drag on and on without the OP helping themselves annoy me... the sympathy well runs dry after a while.
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I agree this is a harsh thing to say, but sometimes we need a harsh message. To say 'spineless' is almost an insult, but the OP needs to remember to preserve his own worth and not let another person treat him bad. Sounds like she doesn't value you as much as you want, and if that happens you can't "make it right", you gotta take it on the chin. Good luck.
 
This is what really gets me about life and relationships in general. Being quite cynical at the moment after coming out of a 3 year relationship where we were best friends and had discussed (at length) marriage, children and all sorts, probably doesnt help. The fact is that no matter what you do, how nice you are, if you do absolutely everything right, its ALWAYS up to the other person with whome you put all your trust and love in, as to how the relationship works out. You have no control over another person and people can seem to just change in the blink of an eye. Makes you wonder who they really were all this time?

Im really sorry for what you are going through, its tough but take it from me and countless other people, you will wake up tomorrow, you will continue to breath, and life will carry on. Life will get better too. Chin up.
 
Sounds like she's trying to get out of the relationship in time for the office party.

You deserve better tbh as she clearly doesn't give two hoots about you.
 
To the OP, you definitely have the right attitude, turning this into some kind or ego contest and trying to get one up will only cause you a lot of pain. Honesty arnd integrity are the best paths to move this on to it's conclusion.

Good luck
 
Robbie G said:
Does he? Sounds like he deserves to get trodden on to me as that's how he's behaving; like a human doormat.
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That's a bit harsh, he's just trying to avoid confrontation. Sooner or later it'll be time to man up though.

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When it does all kick off, if she's revelaed to be the Shelop we're all thinking she is, might I suggest you call her the day before the party to say you'd been with a hooker the week before and are getting checked out for a rash and that she should get checked out too?
 
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See that's the problem with a lot of girls, they're like monkeys in that they don't let go of one branch until they have hold of the other - I reckon it's dead-on that if something hasn't happened already with this guy at work, it will do soon, especially with all this surreptitious texting etc (which I think is a bit paranoid, but then I'm not in your situation can't really judge..and clearly something is going on..). It sounds to me like she's already starting the 'talks' so she can justify to herself that it's not her fault, but yours before swinging over to the other guy.

So now it depends what you want to do - is she hot? If so keep stringing it along and get as much enjoyment as possible and treat her like a one-night stand every night..could be great fun! :D

Then at least if she leaves or you sack her off then you can chuckle about it with your head held high, and then hopefully when she goes for the work bloke he'll sack her off because he doesn't want the commitment of having a girlfriend or the work complications, for the ultimate lolz :p
 
ICEx21 said:
Shall we place bets on what the outcome was?
Mine is a fiver on this outcome:-
Him - "Are you cheating on me?"
Her - "No I swear it! I love you too much"
(Insert ovary punch here)
Him - "Fair enough but that's just to keep you on your toes"
Her - (Insert her crying and lying in a fetal position)
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Hahaha! so true.. :D Women are masters at emotional blackmail :D



I dont get why people are saying ask her straight out. The dude has already sat down had a conversation with her about how she is, is every thing ok, happy etc. I dont think he has said "are you cheating on me babe?" Fair enough

BUT he has straight out asked her if everythings ok, she says yeah everythings great...i love you etc etc blah blah blah.

So shes lying to him to his face and shes cheating on him with someone else. I betcha 100 bucks she will break up with him AFTER the holiday....

Do not go on holiday with this she-devil....
 
Also the other day we went out to buy clothes for this party she is going to, and her card was declined so I offered to buy her outfit for her, best part of £300 give or take, perhaps I should just take it back to the shops right now and get a full refund (as she was giving me a cheque for it).
 
Magic_x_uk said:
I know exactly where it is
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Just wait till a few hours into the party, phone her and say "hey, i was just passing by, can i come in and see you?" If she says no then she's clearly taking rubbish about the 'not seeing each other enough' situation and she's just using it as an excuse. I've been on work do's and they always let partners/boyfriens at least come in and say hello. Obviously it isn't going to be a definitive answer but it will give you an idea.
 
Magic_x_uk said:
So,,,,yesterday when we got in. She had the conversation of "I dont see you enough" (because of my job) How can it work if i never see you etc.

We chatted for a while and she was "whats the point", "we never see each other" etc. At the end of the night, it was still " I love you " etc and we went to bed and things were normal ish this morning before we go to work.

Very odd. I dont feel I know this girl no more.
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She is working herself up to telling you jesus........! DUDE! She hasnt got the balls to tell you that shes been having a fling on the side so she is now coming up with other stuff that will break you up.

Trust your instincts. Dont think that because you're a nice guy she wont still kick you in the balls while you are sleeping.
 
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