Funniest things your friends ever said...

Oh I was watching an American surgery program once and then went through to explain to the other half that "Wow, you can get a toe operation....on your foot!" DUH
 
Skyfall said:
I totally missed this thread before... Uhm, the above was me...

Reminds of you saying trying to say "Peter Hudson" and coming out with "Pizza Hudson"! :P

What was it that Daz said before about I've got 1 word for you?
Click to expand...

Yeah .... he said ...

"I've got one word for you .... why dont you shut the **** up!" ....

We were like ROFLCOPTER.
 
A work Colleague today was wearing a Jacket saying DIVA in big letters on the front, I joked about her covering up the A, which she did, without noticing it spelled DIV, then she removed it, looked down and said, VERY loud "I'm NOT A Div, It says Diver..."

After 5 minutes she still woukdn't believe it didn't say DIVA, cause It "Had no E"
 
One guy said to another guy at work:

"I hope all your family get Cancer and you have to watch them slowly die"

That was a horrible thing to say but I was keeled over laughing :)
 
While we were happily troughing away with our bargain buckets in KFC, one of my friends just suddenly, out of the blue, said "If you own a bit of land, do you own it right down to the core of the earth?".



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"Is Boumsong's (ex-Newcastle footballer) first name really Calamity?" asked my dim housemate.

"Yep" We said

"Wonder what his parents were thinking."
 
Whilst commenting on a lass, Y-Bird (welsh lado who sounds like Y-Bird) said "I'd give her mouth to biff resuscitation"

Wetting of pants followed.
 
A mate calling his Black Lab dog....

"Come here you Black *******"

It did not go down too well in the park we were in, a lot of Black lads wanted to have a quiet word with him after that......
 
After playing some Dead or Alive, my friend commented on one of the characters saying "they're not asian, they're Japanese". He went on to say the same thing on several other occasions.
 
Me and a few mates (Tracy, Donna, Rob) were walking through central park when one of those horse pulled carriages comes past us, my mate rob says “that horse needs re-shoeing”, at which point Tracy turns around and says

"Who shoes wild horses?"

Another one just recently whilst in a gay bar with my a load of friends in Manchester, my best mate turns around and says

“He’s not gay, he is not wearing an ear ring”. That floored me!


These are not by any of my mates but by a Japanese girl punk rock band called Akiakana I saw a few months back. Now these girls hardly spoke a word of English and the bar was packed full of lads.

The lead singer says

“We like sex…………………………………………………………..pistols”
“Do you like sex………………………………………………………pistols”
“Show us how you have good time…………………………………..English style”

I have never laughed so much in my life.
 
stupid thing i said at a festival 2 weeks ago, walking through the camp site and i see someone's marquee outside their tent has been blown over, i then ask my friends "is it windy?" i got death for that one.

one of my friends told another friend not to go to bed and fade but stay up and get pished more and just to "pass out in their sleep," made no sense at all like
 
My boyfriend comes out with some stuff that cracks me up.

I was dressed up to go out to a party in a black corset dress with a red rose in my hair and he came out with this classic:

'You look like a spanish prostitute, but that's ok because I like spanish prostitutes!'
 
At work yesterday, someone was going to put a tannoy out for someone, who is a lot older than us at cutomer services, and someone behind me just goes...

"Oh tell her jus to go home..."

For no reason at all?
 
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