Funniest things your friends ever said...

Year 11 Physics lesson at a grammar school discussing light, photons being massless and how nothing with a mass can reach the speed of light.

"Wait, can't you just sit on a photon?"

:rolleyes:

Edit: The same person, when learning that the mains is AC current - "If the mains is AC, why doesn't my computer keep switching on and off?"
 
Another one.....at Uni one day we were talking about womens breasts (as you do) and a mate of mine came in with "Yeah and they're supposed to have memory glands in them....."

Dear me...
 
Watching Hercules in New York with a bunch of friends, one of my mates jokingly goes "This is based on a true story." And one of the others replied "Is it?"

Oh dear. :rolleyes:
 
jakeke said:
Me and some friends were paying in Tesco for some things and we chose to go to a cashier who we're all pretty good mates with, so when we're paying one of my friends says to him (the cashier) 'So, are you still working in Tesco?'

I was just gobsmacked, then I laughed a lot. He's never lived it down.


Oh and another one, a few days ago actually ..

I'm going to Benicassim in Spain and I was out with a girl who I know that's going too, she has booked her flights etc and started learning bits of Spanish, and she said to me 'Is Benicassim in Brazil?'. The thing is, she's an intelligent girl, she realised straight away what she'd said but the damage had been done.
Click to expand...

She's booked flights to Brazil? How could she have done that? She wouldn't have known what airport to fly to!?
 
Gackt said:
Watching Hercules in New York with a bunch of friends, one of my mates jokingly goes "This is based on a true story." And one of the others replied "Is it?"

Oh dear. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

THESE MORTALS ARE BEDEVILLED BY AS IRRITATING A COLLECTION OF ANNOYANCES AS IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ONE TO IMAGINE!
 
Im god damn crying at some of these.:p

the mrs on holiday on the dom rep heard a french child say something while looking at some flamingos (something along the line of bla bla bla famingo) in her mind she said "unnn its a penguin" then told me! hasnt lived it down since!

also my fav shes ever done (im sure this is allowed)

walking though a supermarker she was trying to find some harvest crunch cereal

i was walking a little ahead of her and she suddenly excaims "i found something similar it s called count...count....count..count...count....country crisp" i was on the floor! of all the times for a stuttered word! :D
 
In a cafe in Amsterdam, my mate explained with much surprise in his voice:

"This orange juice is really orangey"

Cue the look of confusion on the rest of our faces as we slowly tried to work out if he really had stated the bleeding obvious.
 
somebody in work the other day was talking about an emo lad to which a girl replied 'what's an emo? is it a bird. I haven't laughed so hard in ages lol.
 
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Friend: How's that bagel taste?
Me: Not that good tbh (lieing)
Friend: Liar
Me: Yeah, it's actuall-
Friend: Yeah yeah, let me guess, it's like there's a party in your mouth and everyone's invited.



I lol'd. Hard.
 
my mates birthday few years ago we went to a steak house and the manager at the time came to the table and said "are you ready to order?", we all started ordering our food and when he came to one of my mates he said "how would you like your steak cooked" he replied "with no herbs and **** on it" everyone just burst out laughing and the manager replied "well you must be Jamie then"

we did warn the manager before we booked the table that Jamie was coming with us and he quickly realized which one he was lol.
 
Was watching one of the Rambo films with some of my uni mates, one of which hadn't seen any of them before.

About an hour into the film he asks "so when does he become a boxer?"
 
"He's a nice enough guy... But not when he's trying to prey on me."

(phone conversation)
her: OW.
me: WHAT’S WRONG?
her: I’M SEEING HOW HARD I CAN PUNCH MYSELF.
me: NICE…
her: OW! DEAD LEG.
me: HAHA.
her: OW…OW…OW…
me: ARE YOU SAYING “OW” BECAUSE OF THE DEAD LEG, OR BECAUSE YOU’RE STILL PUNCHING YOURSELF?
her: STILL PUNCHING MYSELF.

for some reason it's in caps on my fb, and I cba re-typing it.

"Jacob can you turn me on please?" - A teacher to a classmate of mine, talking about a gas tap, obviously.

"Fiddle with it for a bit and it'll pop up" - same teacher, same classmate, same gas tap, moments after.

grandad "these taste a bit fishy"
me "that's because they're prawn crackers granddad"
 
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