Why do you train? [gym rats thread]

[Killa_ken]

I might just do that, but this evening, it's going to take a while

Just rename the thread to
OCUK Body Builders: Post your pics! and discuss why you bodybuild.

As I always say, Instead of moving mohammed to the mountain, move the mountain to mohammed

 

[MTA99]

So you think every woman who applies make-up or goes to the gym is doing so to impress men?

YES! I think Ethan summed it up quite neatly....

Quite so and to suggest otherwise shows a complete misunderstanding of women in general.

Self-respect makes more sense, as it explains why women who are happily married want to look decent (not necessarily for their husbands, but most likely, for themselves). There may also be health aspects - cardio 3-4 times/week is a good thing.

You're a funny old fish aren't you?

Stand-by for more of the same from me.......self-respect, doesn't that mean feeling good about ones self? And how do women achieve that? By making themselves more attractive! We could discuss the semantics of "self-respect" but the evidence points to women being obsessed with self image, just look at the amount of money in the cosmetics and fashion industries, its phenomenal. What woman needs more than 5pairs of shoes? Are all these women looking for self-respect? I'd suggest they're all trying to increase (or maintain) their "attractiveness".

The example of the married woman is as flawed as the argument for the married man. On a relationship level if she "lets herself go" what message does that send to her partner? On a more "basic" level she wants to remain as attractive as possible to "keep" her man.

I remember in my old gym there was a woman who was super (cardio vascularly) fit. She used to spend a lot of time on the rowing machine, treadmill and stationary bike. There was absolutely no way that she was doing it to impress men...you just dont push yourself to that level to impress men.

Was she an athlete? Training for triathlon? One swallow doesn't make a summer!

But, anyway, this debate is heading back in the direction of earlier debate we had several days ago, so I wont say anymore.

 

[Freefaller]

Closed until I move all the posts across

 

[MTA99]

Closed until I move all the posts across

Nice work FF!

 

[sunama]

On a more "basic" level she wants to remain as attractive as possible to "keep" her man.

Do you honestly believe that a man would stray if his wife becomes less attractive? Whatever happened to loving and being with somebody for better or for worse?

Your statement would imply that the wife would also believe that when she gets old her man will stray. Funny how I dont see many old people in the gym, I go to.

Obviously there are some women and men who think like this. However not all do. I for one would never leave a woman if she has put on weight. I might hound her about losing the flabby belly, but wouldnt leave her for it. I would expect the same attitude from her, too.

Beat that MTA99!!!

 

[LiE]

I train for a few reasons. I joined the gym because I was skinny and couldn't put on weight by eating lots. I found that by combining weights and a good diet I could increase my size for the better. I now look a lot better in clothes after training for a few years. I used to weight 11st and I'm almost 12.5st with a low body fat.

The other reason I train is because I like the buzz and rush of lifting. It makes me feel alive. The reason only developed after spending a number of years in the gym.

 

[MTA99]

Do you honestly believe that a man would stray if his wife becomes less attractive? Whatever happened to loving and being with somebody for better or for worse?

I emphasised the BASIC element for a reason. At a basic level if he sees a more attractive female he's going to want her - its how lads mags, strippers, gold diggers and divorces work Of course the majority of men aren't going to leave their wife /partner because she's less attractive, socially its unacceptable (albeit more acceptable now than it once was) and emotionally its difficult but those are more complex thought processes than the "base" level I was referring to. As with the motivation for lifting its what the woman *thinks* will happen (possibly driven by the Id) that determines her behaviour.

Your statement would imply that the wife would also believe that when she gets old her man will stray. Funny how I dont see many old people in the gym, I go to.

My statement doesn't imply that at all, you have inferred it but I'll clarify anyway. Two points here, firstly as we age our sexual drives diminish and biologically post menopause women are unable to conceive, secondly there's the consideration that an old man might actually find an old woman attractive. Do you find 15yr old girls attractive? How about when *you* were 15yrs old?

Obviously there are some women and men who think like this. However not all do. I for one would never leave a woman if she has put on weight. I might hound her about losing the flabby belly, but wouldnt leave her for it. I would expect the same attitude from her, too.

Why would you pressure her in to achieving a particular physical appearance? Turning round your comment above about being loving, for better or worse, how does this show how tolerant and loving you are?

Beat that MTA99!!!

Job done I think

 

[Clipsey]

I forget the reason I train nowadays - all i know is that I'm addicted and can't get away from it lol
On a good note (and sort of relevant to the above) my g/f is now the same

 

[sunama]

I train for a few reasons. I joined the gym because I was skinny and couldn't put on weight by eating lots. I found that by combining weights and a good diet I could increase my size for the better. I now look a lot better in clothes after training for a few years. I used to weight 11st and I'm almost 12.5st with a low body fat.

The other reason I train is because I like the buzz and rush of lifting. It makes me feel alive. The reason only developed after spending a number of years in the gym.

So you dont train to attract women and get laid? According to some on this board, that is the No.1 reason that men goto the gym.

 

[MTA99]

So you dont train to attract women and get laid? According to some on this board, that is the No.1 reason that men goto the gym.

Could i direct your attention towards the highlighted sentence..

I train for a few reasons. I joined the gym because I was skinny and couldn't put on weight by eating lots. I found that by combining weights and a good diet I could increase my size for the better. I now look a lot better in clothes after training for a few years. I used to weight 11st and I'm almost 12.5st with a low body fat.

OK it isn't direct admission you think is required to prove my point but its about as close as your reasonably going to get.

 

[sunama]

...gold diggers...

LOL. I'm sure Kanye West can give us a lesson in how to avoid gold-diggers.

As with the motivation for lifting its what the woman *thinks* will happen (possibly driven by the Id) that determines her behaviour.

So you think that the average woman will think, "I'm married. I have 2 kids. Both my husband and I are working in great jobs. But I must goto the gym, otherwise my husband will stray?"

...secondly there's the consideration that an old man might actually find an old woman attractive.

This may well happen, but all because a man finds a young (old or any) woman attractive doesnt mean he will leave his wife and pursue the other women. There are a lot of other factors involved here. EG. Job, money, are there kids to consider, is there a mortgage to consider - a man or woman, though they might want to have an affair (or leave their spouse) wont necessarily do so just because they want to.

Do you find 15yr old girls attractive? How about when *you* were 15yrs old?

Nope. Never have. Ive always preferred women who are in their 20s and 30s and occassionally their 40s (Demi Moore and Liz Hurley), but I'm different like that. I dont feel this has any bearing on this subject though.

Why would you pressure her in to achieving a particular physical appearance? Turning round your comment above about being loving, for better or worse, how does this show how tolerant and loving you are?

If I would like my wife to be in shape, then I would certainly advise her to head in that direction. I cant stick a chain around her neck and force her into it, but I can certainly encourage her. There is nothing wrong with this. Just as there is nothing wrong with a woman telling her husband to eat healthier or do exercise.

And all because I want her to be in shape, doesnt mean that I will leave her if she fails to do as I say. Like I said, for better or for worse.

 

[sunama]

Could i direct your attention towards the highlighted sentence..



OK it isn't direct admission you think is required to prove my point but its about as close as your reasonably going to get.

Sorry MTA99, but that doesnt work. Even I want to look good in clothes. If I was the last human on Earth, I would want to look good in clothes or out of them. As humans we are always wanting more. We are greedy by nature. Its just how it is. Sex has nothing to do with wanting more or as in this situation, wanting to look great.

A lot of it has to do with wanting to impress yourself, rather than others, so that you feel good about yourself.

 

[Freefaller]

I don't understand why some people can't accept that people feel insecure about themselves and just want to make themselves feel better by going to the gym. If anything I used to have more female attention before I went to the gym... maybe that's because I'm getting older and not "out on the pull" as much, but I certainly don't feel more attractive. I feel bigger and stronger, yes, but more attractive? Hardly. In fact I still feel **** about myself.

Confidence (not arrogance) is much more of an attraction quality for women than huge muscles anyway.

I will admit that being in good physical shape, i.e. not overweight but in good shape - i.e. healthy is more appealing purely from the point of view that you're not likely to keel over and die, or have a heart attack during throws of passion... however, for that you don't need to be built like an outhouse. I'm no beefcake, but I'm certainly clearly bigger than your "average" bloke - but I don't feel any more confidence or "hot".

It's up in the head ultimately. If you have the confidence in yourself and the ability to you can attract anyone you put your effort into.

Physical attraction is a reactionary and can help initially maybe... it certainly doesn't seem to do anything for me, but then again maybe I'm not wearing the right type of clothing, or maybe I'm just not meeting the superficial women.

If I got a huge amount of attention then yes I'd be 100% behind MTA and the rest. As I don't get any more, if anything I get less, then I frankly don't buy it. Getting bigger - which is all I'm going to be doing, isn't going to grace me with any more fillies I can assure you. I'm doing this for myself, for my fitness and for my enjoyment. In fact more of my mates are interested and impressed at how I'm getting on that women are.

Please just accept that not everyone is the same.

 

[MTA99]

LOL. I'm sure Kanye West can give us a lesson in how to avoid gold-diggers.

So you think that the average woman will think, "I'm married. I have 2 kids. Both my husband and I are working in great jobs. But I must goto the gym, otherwise my husband will stray?"

We've had 3 pages and a post with the specifics of Freud's psycho-babel but still you take it all too literally. She doesn't "think" that, its subconscious!

This may well happen, but all because a man finds a young (old or any) woman attractive doesnt mean he will leave his wife and pursue the other women. There are a lot of other factors involved here. EG. Job, money, are there kids to consider, is there a mortgage to consider - a man or woman, though they might want to have an affair (or leave their spouse) wont necessarily do so just because they want to.

Absolutely and I covered that in my post by referring the more complex thought processes (super ego).

Nope. Never have. Ive always preferred women who are in their 20s and 30s and occasionally their 40s (Demi Moore and Liz Hurley), but I'm different like that. I dont feel this has any bearing on this subject though.

I think we've already established you're not the norm This point does have a bearing on the subject and I used a specific illustration. I could have asked do you find 70yr old women attractive? But I'd then have to ask you to imagine if you'll find them attractive when you are 70. This isn't as convincing as an example but he underlying logic is the same. You're in you 30's right, so you're likely to find any sexually mature woman +/-10yrs your age attractive? I choose the 15yr old (perhaps she should be 16 to keep things legal) to try and suggest that now as a sexually mature male you are not so interested in someone so young/immature, yet at the age of 15/16 you were.

If I would like my wife to be in shape, then I would certainly advise her to head in that direction. I cant stick a chain around her neck and force her into it, but I can certainly encourage her. There is nothing wrong with this. Just as there is nothing wrong with a woman telling her husband to eat healthier or do exercise.

And all because I want her to be in shape, doesnt mean that I will leave her if she fails to do as I say. Like I said, for better or for worse.

I'm not so interested in whether or not you'll leave her if she's not "in shape". I'm more interested in your reasoning for her to be "in shape" and what shape you consider acceptable.

 

[MTA99]

Sorry MTA99, but that doesnt work. Even I want to look good in clothes. If I was the last human on Earth, I would want to look good in clothes or out of them. As humans we are always wanting more. We are greedy by nature. Its just how it is. Sex has nothing to do with wanting more or as in this situation, wanting to look great.

A lot of it has to do with wanting to impress yourself, rather than others, so that you feel good about yourself.

It does work. He wants to look good in clothes. Look good for who? The opposite sex (or same sex - I just don't know)! Looking good is a way for him to attract a mate. I know you like to think that you're exempt from primitive urges (and that may well be the case) but you're the exception rather than the norm.

 

[sunama]

In fact more of my mates are interested and impressed at how I'm getting on that women are.

A comment you actually made in an earlier post, about impressing little boys with your muscles: that isnt far from the truth. I find that big muscles are most impressive to young kids/boys, followed by other men. I just dont feel that the majority of women are impressed by that sort of thing. Obviously you are going to get some who are, but I feel those are the minority.

Of course MTA99 will argue to the contrary. But then how do you explain that the most "wanted" men, in the celebrity world, happen to be non muscular/bodybuilder types? For every Vin Diesel you throw at me, I can give you 10 slim guys. Even Brad Pitt made a name for himself, as a slim guy in Thelma and Louise and Fight Club (and not the guy you saw in Troy).

I said this a few posts a go, but if sex is what you are after, I really do believe your time/effort/money would be better spent, concentrating on your career (to get a big house/car/lots of money, etc), wearing nice clothes, good grooming and hanging around bars/night clubs. Pumping iron IS going to get you attention, but mainly from little boys and other men.

 

[LiE]

It does work. He wants to look good in clothes. Look good for who? The opposite sex (or same sex - I just don't know)! Looking good is a way for him to attract a mate. I know you like to think that you're exempt from primitive urges (and that may well be the case) but you're the exception rather than the norm.

Looking good and looking good for the purposes of finding a mate, are 2 different things in my opinion. When I started training, I already had a girl. My motivation was to be a better me, the best me. Looking good in clothes or without clothes was never about getting a girl. I could have done that without the body I have now.

 

[Morba]

but I certainly don't feel more attractive. I feel bigger and stronger, yes, but more attractive? Hardly. In fact I still feel **** about myself.

That shows that you have a mental image problem rather than physical problem with yourself :]
nutter ;]

 

[Morba]

. I just dont feel that the majority of women are impressed by that sort of thing. Obviously you are going to get some who are, but I feel those are the minority.

A minority it is, but not a huge one. Believe me on that :]

 

[Col_M]

I've started to train for a number of reasons really.
The biggest reason is probably just that I want to be bigger, I've always been small and skinny and want to change that, if I'm bigger I'm of the impression that I'll feel better about my appearance and hence be more confident. I may not end up being more confident but I have nothing to lose if I try. I also wanted something to get me away from damn computers as I spend too much time in front of one.

I have a girlfriend I love with every fibre of my being and who loves me the way I am, I don't want to impress other women but I will admit that I do in a way want to impress my gf, give her more to cuddle and possibly a bit more security. I'm not sure if that means I'm doing it to attract women or not, it's not really black and white.