Monday Night Funny

If you insist.....




A guy walks into an antiques shop and says: 'How much for the set of antlers?'
'Two hundred quid,' says the bloke behind the counter..
'That's affa dear,' says the guy.
 
It was the first day of classes at an American school in the USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, 'Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up.

'Patrick Henry in 1775' he said.

'Very good, Chandra,' the teacher said. Then, she asked, Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'

Again, there was response from the class apart from Chandrasekhar who had his hand up again.

'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper.

'**** the Indians,'

'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar had his hand up.

'General Custer, 1862.'

At this point, a student at the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glared around and asked 'All right! Now, who said that?'

Chandrasekhar put his hand up and said, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yelled, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouted at the teacher , 'That was Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky in 1997!'

The class was now almost insane with rage and someone said 'You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yelled at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him in 2004?'

Then the teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh ****, we're ******!'

Not to be outdone, Chandrasekhar added quietly, I think that was George Bush on Iraq in 2007.'
 
Last edited:
arknor said:
It was the first day of classes at an American school in the USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, 'Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up.

'Patrick Henry in 1775' he said.

'Very good, Chandra,' the teacher said. Then, she asked, Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'

Again, there was response from the class apart from Chandrasekhar who had his hand up again.

'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper.

'**** the Indians,'

'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar had his hand up.

'General Custer, 1862.'

At this point, a student at the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glared around and asked 'All right! Now, who said that?'

Chandrasekhar put his hand up and said, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yelled, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouted at the teacher , 'That was Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky in 1997!'

The class was now almost insane with rage and someone said 'You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yelled at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him in 2004?'

Then the teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh ****, we're ******!'

Not to be outdone, Chandrasekhar added quietly, I think that was George Bush on Iraq in 2007.'
Click to expand...

FAIL.
 
The teacher asked the class to construct a sentence containing the word contagious. She was dissapointed when little Johnny was first with his hand up but decided to let him have a go.

"Our dad was watchin the neighbor paint his house the other day" said little Johnny, "he said if that idiot doesn't get a bigger brush it'll take the contagious"

/bit far
 
funny-pictures-unimpressed-cat.jpg
 
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