Tuesday joke

Caporegime
Joined
1 Mar 2008
Posts
26,303
A husband is at home watching a football match when his wife interrupts, 'Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now.'

He looks at her and says angrily,
'Fix the lights now? Does it look like i have 'powergen' written on my forehead?
I don't think so!'

'Fine!'

Then the wife asks, 'Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right'

To which he replied, 'Fix the fridge door? Does it look like i have 'fridgidaire' written on my forehead? I don't think so!'

'Fine!' She says
'Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break'

'I'm not a carpenter and I don't want to fix steps', he says, 'Does it look like I have 'Taylor Woodrow' written on my forehead? I don't think so! I've had enough of this, i'm going to the pub!!!!'

So he goes to the pub and drinks for a couple of hours................

He starts to feel guilty about how He treated his wife, and decides
to go home

As he walks into the house he notices that the steps are already fixed.

As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working

As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

Honey, he asks, 'How'd all this get fixed?' She said, 'Well, when you left i sat
outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and i told him.

He offered to do all the repairs, and all i had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake.'

He said,
'So what kind of cake did you bake?'

She replied, 'Hellooooo.., do you see 'mr kipling' written on my forehead? I don't think so!'
 
not funny =\

at least it isn't either old or a repst like most other joke threads though
 
After the earthquake,

Rescuers came across a little Chinese girl deep in the rubble but the concrete beams above were far to unstable to bring in the heavy lifting gear. The army officers talked amongst themselves and decided that unfortunately time was of the essence and their efforts would have to be directed to those that they could actually get to. They sent one of the soldiers back to comfort the girl.

"Hello little girl, what's your name?"

"Wing Li."

"And how old are you Wing Li?"

"Well , next week I'll be 6"

"No, you won't."
 
Chaos in Manchester after the UEFA Cup Final between Rangers and Zenit St.Petersburg in which over 10,000 Rangers fans were killed in bombings...


...Carlsberg don't do terrorism...


Taxi!
 
After the earthquake,

Rescuers came across a little Chinese girl deep in the rubble but the concrete beams above were far to unstable to bring in the heavy lifting gear. The army officers talked amongst themselves and decided that unfortunately time was of the essence and their efforts would have to be directed to those that they could actually get to. They sent one of the soldiers back to comfort the girl.

"Hello little girl, what's your name?"

"Wing Li."

"And how old are you Wing Li?"

"Well , next week I'll be 6"

"No, you won't."

Oh tefal
 
After the earthquake,

Rescuers came across a little Chinese girl deep in the rubble but the concrete beams above were far to unstable to bring in the heavy lifting gear. The army officers talked amongst themselves and decided that unfortunately time was of the essence and their efforts would have to be directed to those that they could actually get to. They sent one of the soldiers back to comfort the girl.

"Hello little girl, what's your name?"

"Wing Li."

"And how old are you Wing Li?"

"Well , next week I'll be 6"

"No, you won't."

I lol'd
 
George Bush spoke out against the invasion of Georgia today saying: "Russia has invaded a sovereign state...such an action is not acceptable in the 21st century."

Who said Americans can't do irony?


---------------------------

Supposedly Stephen Hawking has one of the best memories around.

It cost £1500 from PC World
 
After the earthquake,

Rescuers came across a little Chinese girl deep in the rubble but the concrete beams above were far to unstable to bring in the heavy lifting gear. The army officers talked amongst themselves and decided that unfortunately time was of the essence and their efforts would have to be directed to those that they could actually get to. They sent one of the soldiers back to comfort the girl.

"Hello little girl, what's your name?"

"Wing Li."

"And how old are you Wing Li?"

"Well , next week I'll be 6"

"No, you won't."

5/5. I haven't laughed that hard in ages :p
 
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