The Russians actually offered their territory to host part of the US ballistic missile defence system, which would have arguably given the the system a chance of destroying any missiles launched from Iran earlier, an opportunity which the US was foolish IMHO for squandering. It's like they wanted to antagonise the Russians.
However, Russia's outrage over America's missile shield is something I also find difficult to understand. It's not oreintated against their nuclear arsenal and would never be anywhere near capable of dealing with the thousands of missiles Russia could employ in the event of an allout nuclear exchange. In short, it doesn't threaten the strategic status quo with Russia, and would only really pose a threat to countries with relatively small arsenals of nuclear tipped ballistic missiles, such as North Korea, and potentially, Iran.
You'd think, with the ever present mutual threat of international terrorism from the likes of Al-Qaeda and other hardline Islamic groups that we and Russia share, a sense of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" would prevail, yet once again, it appears that modern politicians on both sides would prefer to use the opportunity to demonstrate their short sightedness and pechant for jingoistic nationalist willy-waving instead. Common sense it would seem, really isn't that common at all.
from what I understand you're saying it's a big mess 