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Dont worry mate, when it gets a bit closer and your starting to prepare everything for your new arrival everything will feel different. When you first set eyes on your newborn then thats when it will happen, its an amazing experience and you will feel instant love for your kiddie when he/she finally arrives. Its very hard though so prepare yourself as a lot of your spare time goes out the window but it is also very rewarding too and it definately changes your outlook on life. I would die in a heartbeat for my son which gives you an idea of just how strong the bond is.
 
I would guess from the man's point of view, his 'ownership' of the baby starts at different points. For some it could be from the very moment of knowing, for others it may be at the first scan when you can see the baby, but for others it may be when you feel the first kick and for others not until you hold your new baby for the first time. It is very different for the woman as changes take place so soon after conception as the body responds to the pregnancy. With our first baby, I couldn't stay awake during the first 4 months and beloved OH got quite cross. With the second, I couldn't stop throwing up, so you see it is very difficult for a woman to carry on as if nothing is happening.

Don't worry about how you feel right now. It is still very early on in the pregnancy for you, so don't think that you are just ignoring the situation, it's just different for men.

Only one thing that I would adfvise, though, is to not underestimate the difference this will make to your lives, from the emotional, financial and social point of view. Perhaps if you started to put some money aside each month in a building society account, you may then feel that you are supporting your girlfriend a little more and starting to pay more attention to the situation. I'm sure that your girlfriend would appreciate it.

Enjoy this time that you have together and go along to scans and appointment if you can as then you would feel more involved.

Good luck, though, and don't forget the photos.
 
No, you might not feel different. It might hit you more once she starts properly showing or when the baby is born.
So long as you're providing for your child and doing your best with them, I wouldn't fret too much.
 
I was the same, just went on as if nothing was going to change then 2 weeks before the due date bang down the hospital, get a phone call at work, get to the hospital and have a baby in my arms, and then straight away everything changed, was an amazing day.

She is now 2 weeks and 3 days old, names lily :)
 
my story is a bit different,on the 15th of april last year i rushed my partner into a&e as she had really bad stomach pains and was in a lot of pain.
to cut a long story short....we found out she was pregnant at 10 am and at 1.40 pm she gave birth.
so be told your going to be a dad in 2 hours and 40 mins was a huge shock to me and my partner but 19 months on and it is wonderfull being a parent and wouldnt give it up for the world.
 
smoove said:
My girlfriends 4 months pregnant and we've know for about 3 of them months, abit of a shock as you can imagine, but none the less we've gotten to grips with the idea.
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Firstly, congratulations!

smoove said:
But I always thought if I was told I was going to be a father, that some sort of mind shift would take place and I would somewhat feel or act different, to make my child look upto me, or perhaps make myself proud for them.
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So was I.

smoove said:
But for me, I carry on like nothings going to happen 99% of the time and I think and do the same things as I've always done, but then it suddenly dawns on me that I'm going to be a father and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to think about or feel, am I suppsed to love my baby by now?
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You will right up until the birth. You'll be buying all sorts of baby stuff but you'll generally still do the normal stuff. Apart from go clubbing with your missus and other extreme activities for people up the duff.

smoove said:
I've heard loads of people tell me that having a baby gives your life meaning, a change in direction, but I suppose my question is, did anyone feel like nothing changed in their lifes when they were told they were going to be a parents, because that sudden "Meaning" or what ever, seems like something I should be feeling by now?
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I feel my life is still the same and I am still the same person as I was 2 years ago. I have grown up ever so slightly where I am actually trying now to earn as much money as possible rather than just life day to day to make a better life for my son. I feel that I am doing good also which makes me a happier person.

smoove said:
I suppose what I want to know, did you as a person change for the better when your child came into the world? Because I desperatley want it to be that thing I change for the better for, but It just doesnt feel like nothing is happening inside of me....
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As said above... your life will be the same up until birth and after that it wont be much different. You will change for the better but they way I see it, is like bringing home a kitten or puppy, just on a bit of a bigger scale.

It's fantastic being a father.

I have a 9 month old. 29 pounds he weighed in yesterday and is nearly off the chart. He's huuugge!
 
schizo220168 said:
my story is a bit different,on the 15th of april last year i rushed my partner into a&e as she had really bad stomach pains and was in a lot of pain.
to cut a long story short....we found out she was pregnant at 10 am and at 1.40 pm she gave birth.
so be told your going to be a dad in 2 hours and 40 mins was a huge shock to me and my partner but 19 months on and it is wonderfull being a parent and wouldnt give it up for the world.
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:o i think my jaw would hit the floor if that was me. That must have been one hell of a shock.
 
schizo220168 said:
my story is a bit different,on the 15th of april last year i rushed my partner into a&e as she had really bad stomach pains and was in a lot of pain.
to cut a long story short....we found out she was pregnant at 10 am and at 1.40 pm she gave birth.
so be told your going to be a dad in 2 hours and 40 mins was a huge shock to me and my partner but 19 months on and it is wonderfull being a parent and wouldnt give it up for the world.
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I don't mean to be insensitive but how can a woman/girl not know?
 
Two things...

Not to put a damper on things, but you may in fact not love your child as soon as you set eyes on them. Sometimes people aren't moved by it at all and it's hard for them to come to terms with having to look after something they don't care for. It happened to my wife. It's more common in women than men. Not sure what the general advice on that is; I'd guess you just have to push on with it until it comes.

The other thing I'd say is that however much you do or don't feel it, you have to act it. Once you have a child, your first and most enormously important duty is to your child, and by extension, to your girlfriend. You have to learn to be very selfless and give up a lot of time and effort to do whatever needs doing to look after them.
 
peterattheboro said:
I've heard of this before but the woman was really really fat so you couldn't tell she was pregnant.

Another case is the womb could be right up under her ribs so the bumb doesn't grow out.
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It can happen to women with irregular or absent periods, so they don't have that clue to work from. Some then just put the rest of it down to feeling ill or getting fat or whatever.
 
Neodite said:
I was the same, just went on as if nothing was going to change then 2 weeks before the due date bang down the hospital, get a phone call at work, get to the hospital and have a baby in my arms, and then straight away everything changed, was an amazing day.

She is now 2 weeks and 3 days old, names lily :)
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Congrats, My little fella came into the world on the 14th of last month.

Nothing will prepare the OP, not much changed for me either until he was head out and opened his eyes while looking in my direction (new borns can't see apparently). At that moment my body just spontaniously erupted with emotion and I still get teary just thinking about it. I couldn't stand, I couldn't talk I had no control over anything I did or said - amazing feeling.

Now over three weeks on I still feel odd, I don't feel like I magically became a father, nothing made me love my son, it just happens.

Please make sure you take your full Paternity allowance, things change so quickly in the first couple of weeks. All the best - don't try and force anything!
 
BlastRadius said:
Please make sure you take your full Paternity allowance, things change so quickly in the first couple of weeks. All the best - don't try and force anything!
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Thankyou, congrats to you too, i know what you mean about them looking at you, and clinching onto your finger too.

Totally agree with the paternity too, unfortunatly it is only 2 weeks, and it goes terribly fast
 
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Have to agree with most of the posts here , got a 19month old son now and can not imagine life without him. The most amazing thing to happen for me but up until the birth nothing did change. Sure , you might buy some clothes and decorate the babies room but nothing major.

I would n't worry , once the baby arrives then it will hit you.
 
z0mbi3 said:
I don't mean to be insensitive but how can a woman/girl not know?[/QUOT
my partner isnt big at all,infact she is 5 foot 4 and im 6 foot 1 and she didnt show one bit,the baby sat at the back of her and didnt show from the front,she had worked all the 8 months and 2 weeks and finished work on the saturday monrning(we work nights) and gave birth on the sunday.
she didnt have any symptoms at all but they did come along after she gave birth.
my first reaction on the new i was going to bed a dad in 3 hours was....adoption ! and we both thought that at the time but when my daughter came out there was no way she was going any were.
and by the way.....my partner was 42 when she gave birth and we didnt want children in the 1st place.....but she is here now and we love her and us 3 are very happy.
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My son is 2 months old. I completely understand the sentiments of the OP, it was a bit unreal and detached during the pregnancy but the minute I saw him and even more so held him, all the evolutionary tricks that make us love kicked in full bore and life changed instantly. Relax, get the practical stuff out of the way during the pregnancy and enjoy the baby when it arrives.
 
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