In February, my best female friend (I've known her for most of my life) split up with her boyfriend of four years, with whom she lived. I was pleased about this, as he's occasionally violent towards her, always negative and moody with her, always undermines her with horrible comments and smokes cannabis all the time. And he always promised her that he would never do these things again, and then carried on doing them. You all know his type, I'm sure.
She's been finding it difficult to move on completely from him and stop loving him despite wanting to, particularly as he wouldn't stop texting her and asking to see her, telling her about how upset he is, how he wants to kill himself, how he wants to move down to be with her (she moved away to another city 3 hours away) and how he wants to have a 'new start/new life' with her and how he wants to marry her, etc.
For the past four months, she's been seeing someone else - a decent person who really treats her far better than her ex did. She's admitted having feelings for him - but this weekend, she came back up to attend a party, and also went to have a good chat with her ex. She then indicated that she really misses him (the ex) and is still in love with him.
I really didn't think this was good for her, and I've just sent her a honest e-mail outlining how the ex has lots of bad things about him, and how she should concentrate on moving on, as she wanted to, and not fall for whatever he's said to her.
We've arranged to talk about the situation (obviously I'm trying to persuade her to think about things rationally and go back to her original intention of moving on), and I need to prepare myself with some good questions and/or phrases to put to her - basically, the type of questions/phrases that really really prove my points and concerns right, and to which she can't really have an answer.
What's the best way to approach these conversations and are there any ideas for these phrases/questions?
She's been finding it difficult to move on completely from him and stop loving him despite wanting to, particularly as he wouldn't stop texting her and asking to see her, telling her about how upset he is, how he wants to kill himself, how he wants to move down to be with her (she moved away to another city 3 hours away) and how he wants to have a 'new start/new life' with her and how he wants to marry her, etc.
For the past four months, she's been seeing someone else - a decent person who really treats her far better than her ex did. She's admitted having feelings for him - but this weekend, she came back up to attend a party, and also went to have a good chat with her ex. She then indicated that she really misses him (the ex) and is still in love with him.
I really didn't think this was good for her, and I've just sent her a honest e-mail outlining how the ex has lots of bad things about him, and how she should concentrate on moving on, as she wanted to, and not fall for whatever he's said to her.
We've arranged to talk about the situation (obviously I'm trying to persuade her to think about things rationally and go back to her original intention of moving on), and I need to prepare myself with some good questions and/or phrases to put to her - basically, the type of questions/phrases that really really prove my points and concerns right, and to which she can't really have an answer.
What's the best way to approach these conversations and are there any ideas for these phrases/questions?
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