Girlfriend "cheats" on me in our engagement party
- Thread starter Vegetarian
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Soldato
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While a lot of people are good at giving advice saying to get rid of her, she is worthy of a chance, everyone makes mistakes, and lord knows, some of the stuff that goes on in womens minds is a mystery that even the greatest minds have yet to solve.
She sounds heartbroken by her behaviour, ill be willing to bet given your reaction, that its not something she would repeat again.
She sounds heartbroken by her behaviour, ill be willing to bet given your reaction, that its not something she would repeat again.
Soldato
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i should probably read the whole thread
Probably not.
Soldato
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good idea
Soldato
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Look the problem is that we disagree with the definition of cheating for starters, look this is what she said too him,
"Then she turns to me and says " Im going to have a dance... Im going to find a man and feel his ****! How does that make you feel?" I show no reaction so she says " aint you jellous... Im going give him a s***fy"."
My god read between the lines, personally I would have just played along with her and thought up something on the fly to reply to her with, chances are she wouldn't of ended up on the dance floor and instead I would be snogging my GF or taking her home, it's as simple as that, but it all depends on how she said it, and how she reacts to what I say to her, it's hard to judge 100% without actually being there, I don't plan things out, I just go with the flow, and in that instance I think I would have played the jealous BF that wants his baby.
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Permabanned
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Yes she would.
Your a fool if you stay with her.
These posts about being alpha and hitting the guy she kiss/kiss her.. she provoked this, nothing to do with him, that's not alpha is called being a **** and taking out your frustration/anger/whatever on someone else because you cannot deal with the problem, the woman that caused it all.
Man I totally would have said "not if i get there first".
Associate
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I agree completely with this, you want to find out why she did it, and how you can both be sure that it will not happen again. It could be that she feels that you're getting complacent now the ring's on her finger, it could be the commitment is freaking her out, it could be anything. If you can't talk about stuff that's not a solid footing for a marriage.
Well my friend, I think you should take the advice of most on here and ditch the b***h.
If you take her back after that performance she will continue to repeat this behaviour, that is no way for somebody involved in a relationship to behave .... never mind one that is engaged. If you take her back it's telling her that it is ok to do this, because you will take her back when she does it.
Cut your losses and find a good woman
If you take her back after that performance she will continue to repeat this behaviour, that is no way for somebody involved in a relationship to behave .... never mind one that is engaged. If you take her back it's telling her that it is ok to do this, because you will take her back when she does it.
Cut your losses and find a good woman
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IMO she was actually telling him to take her to dance, to show her off to people, to show that she is his.
if she didnt want him to see then she would have had no issue with snogging the bloke.
Valid points from everyone involved on both sides of the argument. I do agree with whoever stated that relationships should be worked on and not dropped at the first hitch that comes along. That is a weak persons way out.
Says a lot about how people view relationships these days and probably why there is such a high divorce rate, etc. People are just becoming too lazy. You never realise what you had until its gone normally.
At the end of all the discussion there can be on this matter, there is only one ending:
It's his relationship, no one else's. Only he knows his true feelings on what to do, what he does and decides is in his hands completley, with regards to both of them.
I've discussed this thread with my MRS and she agreed with Sara I think - bascially it was some twisted, crazy-drunken way of her getting him to man up a little (to show he cared). It was wrong , but what she was looking for was some ALPHA. The way she did it was absolutley disgusting and wrong but I don't think its a relationship ender, depending on how long they have been together!
Says a lot about how people view relationships these days and probably why there is such a high divorce rate, etc. People are just becoming too lazy. You never realise what you had until its gone normally.
At the end of all the discussion there can be on this matter, there is only one ending:
It's his relationship, no one else's. Only he knows his true feelings on what to do, what he does and decides is in his hands completley, with regards to both of them.
I've discussed this thread with my MRS and she agreed with Sara I think - bascially it was some twisted, crazy-drunken way of her getting him to man up a little (to show he cared). It was wrong , but what she was looking for was some ALPHA. The way she did it was absolutley disgusting and wrong but I don't think its a relationship ender, depending on how long they have been together!
this
girls love attention, they want to feel loved/cared for but they also want a man to display his manliness now and again
I agree with what Sara has said here and I bear witness to having to 'being alpha' myself on many occasions. Its a sad fact of life but true. I'm not trying to excuse what happened.
Only thoughts that ring in my mind are - its your decision as to what you want. While some of the posts here are entirely reasonable, you need to think about it in the long term. It changes your life, not the lives of people who post. Also, if roles were reversed, would you fight for a second chance and feel it was a right you were entitled to? Maybe a 'probationary' period of reconciliation/redemption will help each other. I think you have proven already you are serious and you can still walk away another time if you had doubt, but not yet.
Only thoughts that ring in my mind are - its your decision as to what you want. While some of the posts here are entirely reasonable, you need to think about it in the long term. It changes your life, not the lives of people who post. Also, if roles were reversed, would you fight for a second chance and feel it was a right you were entitled to? Maybe a 'probationary' period of reconciliation/redemption will help each other. I think you have proven already you are serious and you can still walk away another time if you had doubt, but not yet.
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See this has been a problem - I find it very very difficult to go out to clubs etc - she much perferes a quiet bar somewhere. It was just that night she was all hyper and asked if we could go out to a salsa dancing venue.
Anyway to answer some other questions she is 23 and I am 32 - sure big age gap but that seems fine. She did blame the other guy for taking advantage of her, but I told her the guy was innocent as he had a girl wanting to dance with him for 30 mins close and flirty - he was only going to react how a normal man would in that situration when there apperiars to be a green light.
On Marrage side shes been really excited and she keeps showing me venues and possible dresses to wear. Actually she had been talking to me about marrage atleast 6 months before I asked her!
When I asked her she said yes - but the next week she broke off the engagement. I was totally shocked as shes been "wanting" this for so long. She left for work crying - anyway when she came back next day (she works night shifts sometime) she told me why she broke it off. Her dad does not like me because he wants a guy whos rich, successful, overconfident and cocky! Everything my girlfriend hates in a guy... she got scared about her dad and pulled it off. But she wants to be with me and asked me to be engaged again as she does not want her dad controlling her.
When I went home to ask dad for permission to marry her girl - she suddenely told him I want to marry my boyfriend and asking for your blessing. when I asked her after why she did it she told me I wanted to take control and do something I want for a change.
Shes had "alpha" in past and its not something that makes her tick - hence why I didnt take control.... If I took control before it got too bad it would have ended bad in another way - and still Id have to question why she talked dirty before everything happened.
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We've been bandying this topic about work today, i've asked maybe 10-15 people all in all and the general consensus seems to be to dump her, all those asked read the op.