Could you raise another man's child?

nichorob

nichorob

nichorob

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Joined
1 Apr 2003
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Put yourself in this scenario. You meet a girl, she's everything you would want in a partner - attractive, intelligent, decent job and you get on great. She also has a young child from a previous relationship.

What would you do? Does it take a special person to raise another man's child or just a mug?

I imagine there must be a few step fathers here, would be interesting to hear of your experiences.
 
I do (well help raise), but i also have a daughter from a previous relationship, doesnt bother me in the slightest aslong as i have a positive effect on her life.

Saying that her Father is very active in her life, he is very good and a nice bloke :)
 
Went out with a lacie for a while, bout 2 years, she had a young kid and the father had pretty much left him.

He saw me as a major father figure. I ended up not wanting to be with here and stayed with here for a good 6 months before breaking it off, because it majorly hurt leaving the kid. I would need to seriously think about doing it again, its totally different when a kid is envolved, they can become so much more attached.

Still hurts me to this day, altough I felt it was in his best intrest to cut contact. As the dad became intrested again - as much as I didn't want to let him but that wasn't my shout.

Basically think it through mate, how old is the kid?
 
Different for a woman though. The ex had a kid who was 5 years old and I am kinda glad we split up... I could forsee 'our child' coming into the world with him saying 'you do that this way' and 'no thats not how you do it'... just because its how he had done it before.

I think both having a sense of 'omgwtf' is better. Wouldn't feel comfortable if I had stayed with him.

Totally female pov though esp as there are more bonds with the child.

BB x
 
dad did with my brother from the age of 0.

when the real dad showed up for the first time 17 or so years later he was told "your not my dad , hes my dad" :)
 
Yes

Edit: To add more, I've been in a similar situation, it is also important that you like the child too, for me I love her son, he's brilliant, it didn't work out between me and her but I still look after the kid every now and then.
 
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I'd see how it goes to be honest, theres only one way you're going to know for sure.
I wonder if answers would change if the previous partner was dead or if they were still alive?

Aero
 
no.

there may be a 0.009% chance that I would if I was also raising a child of my own, but I wouldn't stay with a woman whos got someone whos got a kid in the first place..
 
Don't try and be the child's father and you'll do fine. Regardless of how the relationship ended between the child's parents, he has a father and you should not cross any line. Be a friend to him, support the Mum in her efforts to raise him or her and don't get involved in any issues between the parents and you'll do fine.
 
gareth.e said:
no.

there may be a 0.009% chance that I would if I was also raising a child of my own, but I wouldn't stay with a woman whos got someone whos got a kid in the first place..
Click to expand...

Rot.

I've got three god-children and I'm listed as the legal guardian for two more should anything happen to their parents. Mrs Asprilla has another four god-children.

I hope it never happens, but there is a chance that I could end raising one of these children. I'd be happy to do it, but I guess that's why I accepted the role.

I don't see what the problem is, or how anyone can definitely say they wouldn't do it. When I was younger I said I didn't want kids, but now I'm a little older I can't wait.
 
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