Could you raise another man's child?

[nichorob]

I wonder if answers would change if the previous partner was dead or if they were still alive?

Father is still very much on the scene. Although now his only interest is his daughter it still makes my skin crawl sometimes to be honest to think of their history.

I want to just see how it goes as suggested but I don't want to let the child (4 year old girl) get too attached to me and end up affecting her if I decide I cant hack it.

 

[Andrew1978]

Only if it was kirstie allsopp.

Seriously though it wouldn't bother me and usually they're more grounded, at least in my experience.

 

[Aero]

I think the mad ripper has some good advice imho. What will happen will happen, you don't know if you're going to stay with this girl for the res of your life or it might finish in a week. You're only on this planet once, make the most of it and do what you want to do.

Aero

 

[Sanguinnus]

My current girlfriend and the one before her both had a singular child, didn't bother me in the least.

 

[Hate]

Yes

 

[Wossi]

My mate is. Engaged to a girl we went to school with who has a young lad from a previous relationship and is now currently pregnant with Both my mate and the kid can't wait for when the adoption goes through.

 

[mattheman]

No, what happen say 20s years down the line your not my father responce, how will that affect you?

 

[-Exodus-]

don't think i could go out with a woman in the first place if she had a kid, when/if i have kids i want it to be on my terms when i'm ready tbh

 

[lumpeh]

Not for me personally, but i do know one or two that prefer a ready made family.

 

[Jambo]

No, what happen say 20s years down the line your not my father responce, how will that affect you?

I don't think it would. I would know that to be the case.

 

[Participant]

Could you raise another man's child?

If she was really, REALLY fit.

This may make it worth the giant PITA that stepkids can inevitably be.

 

[dannyjo22]

I could do it easily and if it all goes wrong five years down the line you haven't got to pay for it.

Plus you get to hit the little **** with a shovel the first time he says "your not my real dad, you can't tell me what to do"

He can ring up social services all he likes you won't lose anything

 

[Sinque]

No, what happen say 20s years down the line your not my father responce, how will that affect you?

You deserve that response if at 20+ years old they're that immature to not realise what you have done for them they can't have been raised properly, unless you beat them or something ofcourse.

 

[LordSplodge]

I imagine there must be a few step fathers here, would be interesting to hear of your experiences.

I raised my wife's son. He's 19 now. Had its ups and downs but I can say hand on heart overall it has been a good experience.

Even though he is now an adult he knows who wears the trousers. I think that is the key, getting discipline sorted. Probably the hardest part for me as I had to be quite stern to get him in line when he was younger due to him not having had a male role model for some time.

 

[benneh]

Of course . In the same way that my step father has done a lot to raise me .

 

[jas72]

Put yourself in this scenario. You meet a girl, she's everything you would want in a partner - attractive, intelligent, decent job and you get on great. She also has a young child from a previous relationship.

What would you do? Does it take a special person to raise another man's child or just a mug?

I imagine there must be a few step fathers here, would be interesting to hear of your experiences.

I'm not a step father but we have thought about adopting and have even done the pre-acceptance course so yes I could.

It is very common these days anyway why would you consider yourself a mug?

 

[Cupra]

i have step kids with my x. there dad is a **** and never see's them i have been split up with her now for 4 years and i still treat them like they are my own i love them to bits and wouldnt be without them. i have 2 of my own kids aswell but they all get treat equal.
I dont think it takes much to look after someone elses kids aslogn as you treat them well its plain sailing and very rewarding

 

[[TW]Fox]

Put yourself in this scenario. You meet a girl, she's everything you would want in a partner - attractive, intelligent, decent job and you get on great. She also has a young child from a previous relationship.

What would you do?

Leave her to somebody else. I wouldnt want a permenant reminder of her inability to form a stable relationship before having children every time I was with her. This very short sighted of me, very shallow but it's just how I feel. I beleive children should be raised in very stable environments so I could never be 100% happy with somebody elses kid.

 

[V4NT0M]

Leave her to somebody else. I wouldnt want a permenant reminder of her inability to form a stable relationship before having children every time I was with her. This very short sighted of me, very shallow but it's just how I feel. I beleive children should be raised in very stable environments so I could never be 100% happy with somebody elses kid.

I don't quite understand your point, if assuming you were in the situation above you wouldn't want to be with her because the kid would not be raised in a "stable" environment?

Whether you're with her or not the child will not be raised in a stable environment (by your standards)... ?

And with all the best intentions in the world things can always go belly up. You could be in a stable relationship with someone for 5+ years, have a child and then split up, and if you're going to wait for a relationship to 100% stable and break up proof you'll never have a child.

 

[[TW]Fox]

I appreciate my viewpoint is entirely misguided and arguably irrational but it's how I feel.