Girlfriend "cheats" on me in our engagement party

k.Jacko said:
why do people make such ca big deal about posters seeking advice on a forum. It aint soley occupied by computer geeks. If it were, GD would be empty.....but it aint.
Its just another medium to air your concerns/view/opinions whatever. Some folk may find it easier to converse anonymously (like agony aunt hotlines etc) than face to face with friends. On forums you hit a greater cross-section of opinions, which can help to a degree. Although not with the hyenas at ocuk ready to rip to shreds anyone who dare spill their guts about such personal stuff. :rolleyes:
Its really no biggie. At the end of the day, you either give your considered opinion, take the pish out of them or plainly sympathise. And they will either take heed and make a considered decision or not.
Don't drag it out though......have your say..........or don't. Then move on.
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agreed this and cuppas view mixed seems to be the way forward !! veg whats your decision man #??? i think were all waiting now !!!
 
Cuppa said:
Bin her, and do it now. You’ll be doing her a huge favour, she will be far, far better off without you.

You are the one with the issues, you have an issue with her dad, alcohol, commitment, trust, your parents, relationships and you’re an emotional basket-case.

The mere fact that you came to a internet forum to ask advice points to the fact that you’re seeking validation rather than advice and I strongly suspect that is you who has been trying to find a way out of the relationship for a long time but feel the need to get out of it in such a way that you are completely guilt free.

Any right-minded person would have taken her comments with a pinch of salt and taken her home before she had a chance to make an arse of herself, not you, you let a drunken woman do something stupid and then chastised her for it, which speaks volumes about you. Given that you simply stood by and watched this whole fiasco happen means that you’re are far from exculpable and should really be apologising to her for allowing things to progress so far. Commitment is a two way street and relationships are about both of you supporting each other no matter the circumstances.

You are clearly a delusional fantasist and need to get a clue. You have placed your girlfriend on a pedestal and have clearly been having a relationship with your idealised representation of her rather than the real woman. She is only human and the fact that she was capable of making a mistake really shouldn’t have shattered your opinions of her.


Here are some pointers.

1 Firstly don’t tar her with your alcoholic parents brush.
2 Have a drink, you may learn something about yourself; how self righteous and pompous you are.
3 Don’t ask for advice on the internet from a bunch of computer geeks most of whom are still virgins and have no ******* idea about women.
4 Don’t ask for advice on the internet from a bunch of computer geeks who get off on other people’s misery.
5 Take a good, long, hard look at yourself.

Finally let her read this thread, let her see how much you think of her, let her see how you care so little that you throw your love life out to the internet dogs for scorn and derision. I bet she drops you faster then a whore can drop her knickers.

Your sig says “Jesus loves you”, I believe he also forgives and had a relationship with a whore to boot. If it’s good enough for him.
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Looser of the week goes to....

Maybe a know it all guy does not even need a forum... Maybe next time you have a pc problem like you did with your 8800gt we wont answer you!!!

Lastly there is nowt wrong with being still a virgin! I am one and we are waiting till marrage and is what we both want. We are Christians and sure we make mistakes yet forgiveness is the key. To forgive does not mean to forget... things still hurt.

We are all human... sometimes need to chat or let things out so others can listen - forums are great ways of doing that without anyone knowing who you are - Ive not been able to talk to some of my friends about it.

Sure there are loads of pointless replies, yet there are some really good ones too - thanks for those have been bothered to email me.

My girlfriend is still at home talking to her mum and dad, there has been more rumberlings from her dad since we been engaged. Even few days before party she was told her dad was not happy about the engagement.... she admits it has played on her mind as she needs family support and not been settled as she so wants dad to accept me... they have had a long talk together tonight.
 
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to be honest, although a bit harshly worded, i agree with cuppa on the fact that if you did just watch it happen and not do a thing..when she was obviously trying to get your attention etc then how can you really go off on such a rant about it and break up with her? If it bothered you enough to ditch your fiancee..why didnt it bother you enough to get up and do something about it at the time?
 
Veg, ignore these noobs, it's easy to say these things from the outside, but I doubt half of them would actually do what they advised you too in the same situation.
 
Vegetarian said:
We are Christians and sure we make mistakes yet forgiveness is the key. To forgive does not mean to forget... things still hurt.
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Erm.

Definition:
Forgive:
To pardon, to waive any negative feeling or desire for punishment; To accord forgiveness.

It doesn't mean forget, but it does mean stop harbouring feelings like jealousy, pride, spite or embarassment (or whatever the feeling is that is still hurting - (you thought about what the feeling you're having is?))

Saying you forgive someone and not being at peace with someone isn't really forgiving them.
You can't twist what Christianity is to suit yourself. Then there's the whole turn the other cheek bit. You're supposed to be meek if you're a proper Christian.

Anyway, he was just having a laugh - however, still, look at what he said constructively anyway.

Oh, and nothing wrong with being a virgin or a geek, he was just second guessing that you fit the stereotype for an insecure person. :p

And in response to Skyfall, aye, I would. :)
 
Vegetarian said:
Because she has had jellous controlling boyfriends in the past who she resented - telling her what to do etc
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She was testing you. Whether she wanted you to be like them and make her leave, or whether she wanted you to not be like them and do what you did, who knows? Maybe she doesn't know either. Maybe she wanted some other reaction, something...else, who knows what? Maybe she wanted you to attack the other man - "Let's you and him fight" - to demonstrate her control of you. Maybe she's upset now because that failed. Maybe she's upset now because she's realised what a total mess she made of things because of her own insecurity. I don't know. Neither do you, really. Maybe she's sexually frustrated and the alcohol weakened the suppression of her own sex drive that she imposes on herself because she's told that she should and believes it, so maybe she wasn't testing you and really wanted to be a sexual person and hopefully get laid. Who knows?

Nobody really understands anybody, including themselves, but you're only going to get any sort of explanation from talking with her. Unless she's lying to you and/or you're lying to her, of course.

My money is on her testing you and her not knowing what reaction she actually wanted from you anyway.
 
The_Abyss said:
And ditch Jesus on the way. Find yourself instead.
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Lol, excellent advice.

If jesus reckons you should hold off from the boning until married, he's a ***t [your choice of expletive, there's a few that end in 't']. :p

No wonder she's all over the place, her libido is probably doing backflips. Drinks tends to make people more sexually charged.
And unless you are a unoch i'm surprised you didn't react.

My previous posts still stand, but i wasn't aware of your virginal status and the 'wait till we're married' pressure!
That could say a lot tbh.
 
'Proper' Christians really make my skin crawl they're so goody goody and preachy *shudders*. I mean what's the point in the "Jesus loves you" sig apart from to Preach


*edited to be on the right side of the line*
 
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So wait - you're a virgin? Is your fiancée? I'm guessing not, given that she's had previous boyfriends.

Maybe she's just crying out for a good rogering? Why on EARTH would you wait until marriage? It's 2008 man, not the dark ages.

ps. if you do wait, your wedding night is going to be a massive disappointment :D
 
PaulStat said:
'Proper' Christians really make my skin crawl they're so goody goody and preachy *shudders*. I mean what's the point in the "Jesus loves you" sig. The guys dead has been for over 2000 years

NB: I'm not particularly fond of other religions
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Jesus hasn't been dead for 2000 years. He never existed! He's as made up as Gandalf or Santa Claus! :D
 
jamief said:
Jesus hasn't been dead for 2000 years. He never existed! He's as made up as Gandalf or Santa Claus! :D
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I don't doubt his existence, the book has to be based on someone after all. As for him being the Messiah though, that's something I'd find very hard to believe without some sort of concrete evidence.

*edited to be on the right side of the line*
 
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