'Joke' Thread

izzy eckerslike said:
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Click to expand...

lolcopter. will have to remember that one :p
 
izzy eckerslike said:
Tampax have just launched a new range of tampons, and have replaced the string with a length of tinsel........


Its for the Festive period only.....




Guy walks in to a hotel and begins checking into his room. he asks the clerk. "Is the porn on my telly disabled?"

No, she replies, "its regular porn you sicko" !



As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Click to expand...

Finally! funny jokes
 
I left my car in a car park the other day, when I came back to it the bumper and rear lights were all smashed up. Then I found this note under the wiper. It said:

I just accidentally reversed into your car.
Quite a few people saw me do it.
They think I'm leaving my name and details.
Well, I'm not.
Click to expand...
 
I left my car in a car park the other day, when I came back to it the bumper and rear lights were all smashed up. Then I found this note under the wiper. It said:

I just accidentally reversed into your car.
Quite a few people saw me do it.
They think I'm leaving my name and details.
Well, I'm not.
Click to expand...

:D:D:D roflcopter
 
***** Breaking News **** Stephen Hawkins was sent to hospital late last night with broken bones, cuts and bruises. It was reported that he had been on a date.

Apparently, she stood him up.
 
Last edited:
Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I
really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'
The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I
feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That
Makes everything better and I go to work.. You try that.'

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what You say and I feel
Great. I be at work soon........ .You got nice house'
 
Raist said:
Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I
really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'
The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I
feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That
Makes everything better and I go to work.. You try that.'

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what You say and I feel
Great. I be at work soon........ .You got nice house'
Click to expand...

Lulz

I was working late round there Monday going along the street picking up the wheely bins.
I got to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so I has a quick look for it, and then knocks on the door.
Eventually a Chinese man answers... "Harro", he says.
"Alright mate, where's your bin?" I asks.
"I bin on toiret" replies the Chinese bloke, looking perplexed.
"No mate, where's ya dust bin?"
"I dust bin on toiret I told you" says the Chinese man.
"Mate", I says..."you're misunderstanding me... Where's your wheelie bin?"
"OK, OK", says the Chinese guy. "I wheely bin havin a ****"
 
:) Whilst were on chinese jokes

Learn chinese in 5 mins

That's not right...
Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?...
Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me ASAP...
Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man...
Dum Gai

Small Horse...
Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?...
Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table...
Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a face lift...
Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here...
Wai So Dim?

I thought you were on a diet...
Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone...
No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for next week...
Wai Yu Kum Nao?

Staying out of sight...
Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning his automobile...
Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive...
Yu Stin Ki Pu
 
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