Funniest things your friends ever said...

"Wasn't Jimmy Hendrix Irish?"

And a football related one, a female cousin asks me.

Cousin: Who's he.

Me: Nemanja Vidic.

Cousin: Nemanja? Isnt that a disease.
 
One of my colleagues was due to go out to another of our sites to set up some PC's. As she doesn't have her own company mobile, she was given the 'office' mobile to take with her.

When she was given it she said, 'What do I do if it rings?!' :rolleyes:
 
tisonlyme said:
One of my colleagues was due to go out to another of our sites to set up some PC's. As she doesn't have her own company mobile, she was given the 'office' mobile to take with her.

When she was given it she said, 'What do I do if it rings?!' :rolleyes:
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Doesn't sound that daft. The answer is either 'answer it' or 'ignore it'. If it's not her phone, you may want her to ignore incoming calls from any unknown numbers (i.e. other than the office or colleagues) who are trying to get hold of the person who had it yesterday and let it run to an answerphone message that says 'ring the office'. Rather than wasting her time dealing with it. I'm sure I might well have asked that question.
 
My bosses girlfriend said many years ago after hearing on the news that there was going to be a meteor shower that night...

"I'd better get the washing in then"


doh!
 
csmager said:
Doesn't sound that daft. The answer is either 'answer it' or 'ignore it'. If it's not her phone, you may want her to ignore incoming calls from any unknown numbers (i.e. other than the office or colleagues) who are trying to get hold of the person who had it yesterday and let it run to an answerphone message that says 'ring the office'. Rather than wasting her time dealing with it. I'm sure I might well have asked that question.
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It is indeed that daft. The only people who call the office mobile is us, the people she works with! She felt a bit silly when she realised what she'd said.
 
from an american i used to speak to:

"i have a relative in London, do you know him?"

.... yeah i know all 60,000,000 people who live here :rolleyes:
 
Just thought of a time I said something pretty stupid.

My mum had been trying to phone me all day apparently, though I'd had no missed calls on my phone. I got home in the evening, whole family was there and mum started going on about the fact that I must've had my phone switched off (which I hadn't). She kept insisting that it must have been, so I said pretty loudly, 'Can I just say to everyone sat here now, that I have NEVER had it off!'

Nobody else had actually been listening to our conversation, it took me a good few seconds to realise why they were all giggling at me :o
 
Grrrrr said:
A colleague at work just got me a "black coffee with milk"

Yes, it was a woman! :p
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again, not necessarily THAT stupid. if you're going to a coffee shop that's pretty much how it is, otherwise it's a latte - and they're not the same thing :)

if you're just making a bloody nescafe' though then i trust you applied a suitably firm ovarian punch - SHACLACKEY!

B@
 
B@Th*nG said:
again, not necessarily THAT stupid. if you're going to a coffee shop that's pretty much how it is, otherwise it's a latte - and they're not the same thing :)

if you're just making a bloody nescafe' though then i trust you applied a suitably firm ovarian punch - SHACLACKEY!

B@
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White coffee?
 
Nossmayo said:
This amused me a few minutes ago. (I realise i also spelt woman wrong by the way before some bright spark mentions it!:p)
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It makes no sense to me out of context =/

RaohNS said:
from an american i used to speak to:

"i have a relative in London, do you know him?"

.... yeah i know all 60,000,000 people who live here :rolleyes:
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wow the population must have shot up recently.
 
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I was on a weekend away a few months ago and met up with a few old friends, one of whom isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.
I asked my friend if he knew a relative of mine who lived near london, he came back at me all sarcastically saying;

".... yeah i know all 60,000,000 people who live here" whilst rolling his eyes.








;)
 
My flatmate said this a couple of weeks ago when we were all sat in the lounge:

Jaime: I wish we were all gay because next time one of us says "I'm gonna **** you" we'd actually mean it. Also, we'd save on rent cause we'd only need a three bedroom house for the seven of us, and we could all swap around each night. There could even be a three way going down! Plus it means we'd never have a dry spell either.

Don't you think that would be awesome?

Everyone: No Jaime.
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I work in a call center, some of the things i say or i hear is funny. I work for a windscreen company.

Customer : Can you come out and repair my broken window.
Advisor : Fitters don't carry glue but we can replace it.

Advisor : Have you got any cover if its raining.
Customer : A big umbrella
Advisor : Would it cover then car
Customer : No...
Advisor : Well we cant use that then can we!

Advisor : Were coming out today to replace the windscreen on your 2004 ford focus in black
Customer : The windscreen is black?
Advisor : NO thats the color of your car sir!

Advisor: Can i call you by your first name,
Customer : Yes
Advisor : Ok dick, lets take some details dick. He used dick about 100 times in the call

Advisor: We fit windscreens as standard (Should have been safety as standard)

Got loads of others....

The best one is mine. I had to ring a customer about a complaint. I rang him up and said its damien here, how can i help. Through the call he kept saying "Not the Damien" I was like no sir, not "THE DAMIEN"

At the end of the call, he said. Thats great ow and when you see my daughter next, tell her you and her left patches on the sofa last night. (been banging her from work)
 
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