Think somethings going on with my girlfriend...

neil3k said:
Dump her ass and go drinking with me
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The guy hasn't even broken up with his girlfriend and you're already hitting on him? Have you even checked that he swings both ways? :p

MOT: it might be dodgy or it might be perfectly innocent but meghatronic gives you quite sensible advice, don't do anything in haste here and if you're at the stage of thinking that a keylogger is necessary then I'd probably suggest that your relationship is on pretty shaky ground anyway so you need to consider your options carefully.
 
Its pretty obvious something is going on, or is about to.

Go and talk to her, no point being together if one of you isnt happy.
 
As a girl, i would agree that speaking with exs after they've treated you badly is a little odd.

And i myself have read through my boyfriends chat logs and found things i thought were out of order, but i confronted him.
I think its definately best to ask her, even if you admit to snoopng around a bit, and just say you're so worried about losing her or whatever.

But talk to her.
Its the only way you'll know for sure
 
I'd just take the bull by the horns if I were you. Ask her straight out if she's happy in your relationship, as she seemed a little distracted/distant of late. I would NOT mention reading any of her private info. It'll save you time, hassle and heartache in the long run.
 
Though it was quite a while back now, i was in the same position as you

I went for the confront option and it turned out she was chatting to her ex but there was nothing sinister behind it, she just knows that i hate him and didn't want me to get upset, at the time i was a complete arse and told her i wanted to see what was being said so she let me read her texts, low and behold they were just saying happy christmas (this was 3 christmas's ago now) and asking how each other was, of which one reply turned out he was talking about his new girlfriend

Needless to say though, while that killed my paranoia, it also lost a bit of respect my girlfriend had for me, having violated trust, and i did nearly lead to us breaking up!

But if you want to confront her, i highly advise being calm about it and not being at all pushy!

EDIT: it is a bit different though i guess as i knew her ex was on the other side of the country and there was no way they could physically see each other
 
I would like to condemn the suggestions of keylogging. If you have to stoop to that level to 'find out' (or exert control), the relationship is doomed from the onset.

When snooping, you may find things you don't need to know. Is it worth the risk? No.

Confront. Evade. Retreat.

Pick one.
 
BigBadBenny said:
I'd just take the bull by the horns if I were you. Ask her straight out if she's happy in your relationship, as she seemed a little distracted/distant of late. I would NOT mention reading any of her private info. It'll save you time, hassle and heartache in the long run.
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This. Installing keyloggers or snooping on her is not only childish, but portrays a deep lack of self esteem and mild paranoia (which in the end boils down to you not trusting her) - things women don't find attractive.

Actually confronting a situation head on in an adult manner will work wonders.
 
philjohn said:
This. Installing keyloggers or snooping on her is not only childish, but portrays a deep lack of self esteem and mild paranoia (which in the end boils down to you not trusting her) - things women don't find attractive.

Actually confronting a situation head on in an adult manner will work wonders.
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Indeed. Keyloggers are not the way.
 
CONFRONT

you dont need to go down the keylogger route as that makes you look like the bad guy and she will turn it around and make it about you and trust blah blah. When really this whole situation is about her.

She said she doesnt speak to him anymore

She is - therefore she is lying to you.

add that to your man instincts telling you smt is up e.g. change of trust level with you.


= confront about whole situation. I forsee possible break-up tbh

why? because once a woman's heart n mind isnt in the relationship her body might be but she will be looking for someone else e.g. getting back with the ex in her mind she will be thinking of all the good times etc. She wont be thinking of the bad times because the ex has apologised to her about his infidelity.

Time to man the lifeboats - and start cutting your emotional ties to this relationship (she has already started this imo)
 
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