Think somethings going on with my girlfriend...

1 - shes either doing something with him or very tempted.
2 - shes clearly not happy with you.

Sort no2 out and no1 won't be an issue any more.
 
Morba said:
1 - shes either doing something with him or very tempted.
2 - shes clearly not happy with you.

Sort no2 out and no1 won't be an issue any more.
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Truth, although personally if I were you I'd be more worried by the fact that you haven't already sat down and talked about stuff.

I'm not the most secure guy in the world but my fiancee talks to ex's constantly on MSN and her phone, she even goes out drinking with them and has been away with her mates overnight and I've known the ex was going to be there - never an issue as we're always straight with each other. We have an enormous amount of trust and respect for each other, so I'm completely secure about it (even go out drinking with her ex's!)

The fact she's hiding anything, at all, is highly iffy.

If my fiancee acted like that, I'd instantly be onto her about it. Without honesty and trust, there is no relationship but that doesn't mean you have to search through her phone :p

I'm just wondering if she's started telling her ex that you're possessive just as she told you he was.


Andrew1978 said:
Why dont you just talk to her? something like...

i got out of the bath the other night and had a go on the computer, you'd left yourself logged in to msn and i saw you were talking to (whatever his name is)

I'm not making a big deal about it, if you want to be friends with him again then fine but how come you haven't mentioned anything? i wasn't going to say anything but i've been thinking about it and just thought i'd ask and see if everything is ok.

Saying nothing and trying to forget about it wont help and will just drive you crazy. If she gets all defensive and starts an argument about how you dont trust her i'd prepare for the worst. If she wants to bring trust into it she shouldn't be sneaking around talking to her ex boyfriend while you're in the bath :P
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Very good advice.
 
Sounds like you have some very serious trust and self confidence issues. People who are suggesting keyloggers are just sad really - if you trust someone that little then why bother being with them.
 
suarve said:
Sounds like you have some very serious trust and self confidence issues. People who are suggesting keyloggers are just sad really - if you trust someone that little then why bother being with them.
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Self confidence issues?

his lass is acting secretively so he has right to get a bit paranoid
 
Relationships are far too complicated to start saying whose fault this is. So many small (let alone the large) things shape a relationship that you just can't be sure of her intentions.

Maybe she's doing it because she doesn't feel loved.....who knows? Unless you talk about it there's no way of knowing.
Talk and work through it together, if you think it's something you can move on from.

Unfortunately I was in a similar situation and didn't talk about, I spent so much time putting the blame onto my ex that I couldn't see that it was both our fault.
 
Azagoth said:
Spiderman.
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\o/


Although in seriousness, the below is the best way to go about it.

meghatronic said:
Sleep on it.

There is no reason to be paranoid about her not wanting to give you her passwords. Privacy has a very high price. She probably is keeping this stuff from you to protect you, as nothing is probably happening, and she doesn't want you to get worked up - as you have.

Classic military strategy: confront, evade, or retreat. Personally, I'd evade. As, after all, without being that crazy stalker/snooper dude, you know nothing :)
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If she isn't distant with you normally, nothing is happening and it's fine, she is just chatting to him with no intent or anything having gone on.

My most recent ex (posted up in the forums when she split) was distant for a couple of months, no matter what I did. She'd forget to call when she said she would, I'd see her once or twice a month (used to see her 3-4 times a month), and when we were together she'd not really spend all that much time with me, just sit on her laptop talking to people on MSN and playing games. I confronted her and asked if she was cheating, to which she said she wasn't, but the way she'd been acting I wasn't so sure, then a few months after she left me she was with another bloke. Never found out if she was cheating on me with him, but it can't hurt to confront if she is distant with you.

One of my exs texts me a fair bit, and her fiancé doesn't know and she won't tell him. It's nothing though as I'm not going back there, and we both know it. As far as I'm concerned though she should tell him, simply because if he finds out it'd be worse...but he doesn't like me, for no real reason, hasn't even met me. :rolleyes:
 
as skyfall said, talk to her. you know where you stand then.

the other thing i'd be wary of is that a woman should never ever leave another man for you. thats a dangerous trend and a negative in her character.
dunno why but i'd take that as a negative as i wouldn't want someone always looking for the next big thing.
 
Hedge said:
Self confidence issues?

his lass is acting secretively so he has right to get a bit paranoid
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Defo, he's checking msn logs and getting worried because he's doesn't have her passwords, all before he's even talked to her about it.

Granted, its a little off that she seems to be so into an x so much, but nothing a bit of communication couldn't solve?
 
I think you're being paranoid. Yes, she's speaking to him again, despite the fact that she told you she wasn't, so there's a problem there, but it doesn't mean it goes further than that. Just confront her, and ask her why she's lied to you.

Speaking to her about everything, and making your concerns aware to her will help you, as right now, I bet you're feeling pretty lost.
 
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