The biggest decision I'll ever make! I need advice.

Only you know if you want the child or not.

Its a vicious circle as you may find after an abortion you regret it and vice versa. There is no real answer apart from the one you are both willing to make.
 
Interesting. Was in a similar situation a few years back.

Been seeing my girlfriend for 7 months and had been going out about 4 months when we found out she was pregnant. Not planned at all. Was a huge decision but we decided to keep him (there was no hesitation from either us to keep him) and I have to say it's the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but the reward for doing it is like nothing else. You have un-conditional love for them and they will have it for you.

Was the making of me.

Fast forward nearly four years and we had another boy a year ago last February, and we both love our family and would do anything for them.

Yes it's a struggle raising them and it's life altering, but I do not regret it in the slightest.

All the best, I hope you stay together and enjoy the future together.
 
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You had sexual intercourse. With sexual intercourse there was always a risk of her getting pregnant. I'm sure you knew this.

You can express your concerns to her, of course, but you've created a life. And you have to face the responsibility that has been thrust onto you. Either you stay with her, and try to make the best out of your situation and raise this child with this woman that you are crazy about, or to run away, leave her and pay from afar.

Yeah, it's scary. And yeah, it's going to change your life. But think about it. You're going to be a dad. :) Is that not in itself a wonderful thing, regardless of whether you think you have the financial stability to raise your child in the exact way you wanted?

While I do agree that it should be a joint decision - women as the carrier of the child seem to be given a special power to decide ('cause it's inside them) - so there's not much you can do if she decides she wants to keep it (which really does make you wonder about feminism, and how they're treated as "lesser" ¬_¬ but that's beside the point, lol) what you have to decide is whether you want to play an active role in this child's life.
 
She is pregnant and doesn't want to terminate. Accept it and deal with it.

I became a dad for the first time in November and I wouldn't change it for anything. 17k each is enough to provide for a child, bearing in mind child tax credits, family allowance etc.
 
If you weren't careful what did you really expect?

Everyone gets a shock when they find out they're going to have children but she's made her decision. You have no idea what an abortion would be like for her and to ask her to do it would be shocking IMO. I know if my bf even asked me that would be the end of the line for us.

Things won't be the same in regards to going on holiday, going out with friends, etc but if you're going to have a child you have another life to think about before you think about your own.
 
you do the crime, you do the time.... as a new father (just over 2 weeks ago) I was sworn i was never ready.. but when he/she arrives you'll be over the moon... the cuty wuty eyes looking at you.. before he/she screams at you :p
 
You clearly have a pair of cajones because you created the little thing. Now it's time to prove you have a pair. Like the sensible posts say, "Man up and get one with it." Forcing her to make the decision she doesn't want to make is a one way journey for the two of you to split up.

I am afraid there is a thing called taking responsibility. It's what you do every day when you get behind the wheel of your car, step out into the road or tap your girlfriend without the right equipment. They all come with consequences but clearly your girlfriend does indeed seem deluded. It is going to be tough for you but it will be much easier as a couple. If you leave her to be a single mum then she will bear the burden of the problem and you will still have financial responsibilities.

You could have course look at it another way. Perhaps your life has just changed massively for the better?
 
I seriously hope you don't force her to have an abortion.

My girfriend fell pregnant a few years ago, and we were both in the same situation (neither particularly planned / wanted for a baby, but accepted it had happened) although later on down the road she lost the baby due to a miscarriage and it destroyed us both.

She's still not the same about it now, and I'm glad I wasn't the one responsible for it as I can truly see how big a mistake it would have been.
 
She's already had one abortion? That would have set bells ringing and I would have been stuffing contraceptive pills in every drink she had. She obviously can't be trusted to do it herself. :p
 
look at like this, within 12-14 years time you will never need to wash your car or mow the lawn again.
 
just to quickly clarify this one, i was using protection and have never missed a session without it and she is also on the pill, a few times the condoms has broken, but come on its not like a was waving a flag with a "a want a kid" slogan on it.

this was complete unintential and an accident.
 
I don't think that you will have much chance of changing her mind. However would you really want to? its something that she would probably regret for ever and she would certainly grow to resent you. (the one who forced her to do it).
I had my son when I as 18 but because I had support from my family as you appear too I managed, I was able to work and to live at home and even able to go out occasionaly. Could she not continue to live at home, you don't need to live together to support her. You should only move in together when you both want to. Good luck to you both with what ever you decide.
 
Kiss goodbye to buying any new Pc Gfx card updates for the next 18yrs....

Is this a sacrifice you are willing to make....not being able to press that 'buy' button again?....:)
 
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