The biggest decision I'll ever make! I need advice.

Munky1080 said:
Ok mate - you've made your bed, now it's time to lie in it.

It's true that 2 x £17K makes it hard to raise a child...heck 2 x £100K makes it hard to raise a child....basically, you'll never have enough money. Kids rock your world...You need to man up basically. You have responsibilities now, and I guaranteee you that you'll love your child and they will love you. It'll change your life in ways you've never thought possible.

You are young enough that by the time the child is grown up you will still have a fair amount of time to go out and have fun.

Obviously you know where I stand here, but the decision is all yours of course. If you love her dearly then even though it's inconvenient, you will try your darnest to make sure that the child has its best possible start in life.
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^^
THIS is absolutely spot on.

I have so many friends who have the attitude that you have, they say that they dont earn enough money, that they didnt want kids until their 30's etc etc....its a load of old ****.

Having kids isnt about affording it, its about raising those children in the best way that you are able to at the time.

You have kids when you have them, you have to man up and deal with it.

What would happen if you asked her to terminate the pregnancy and then discovered that she could no longer have kids with you or anyone else.
 
I really don't understand how you think that 34k income isn't enough to raise a child. My parents managed to raise 3 of us just fine and I imagine 17k COMBINED would've been like a dream to them...

Lets face it, you can't tell the girl you love to have an abortion. That would make you a pretty rubbish person :(

Plus, I don't know anyone who's had a baby and wished they hadn't - I guarantee once it's born you'll wonder why you ever had doubts!
 
we only have 1 times 17k but 1 kid in uni and 1 going plus very nice house (paid for in 2 yrs) and summer place in Cornwall ,the tax credit system is quite generous
 
Sorry, but you're 25....you're not a kid anymore. You have to face the fact that your life has changed now, no matter what happens. Do you think there has ever been a man who didn't have doubts about being a father? Walking away now could end up being harder (for many reasons) than taking on this responsibility; you know that.

And you both have jobs at least. And it sounds like you both have supportive parents, which helps a HUGE amount. You're not in a terrible position.

Good luck, whatever you decide :)
 
EasyG said:
just to quickly clarify this one, i was using protection and have never missed a session without it and she is also on the pill, a few times the condoms has broken, but come on its not like a was waving a flag with a "a want a kid" slogan on it.

this was complete unintential and an accident.
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Well you are just about the unluckiest dude in the universe then because the odds are shorter on you winning the lottery at the exact same moment as your accumulator coming in at the bookies.

*This baby was made with SupaSperm™
 
Well you won't really have a combined salary of 34k when your GF is on maternity leave, but that's beside the point. No matter how much you earn you'll have to make sacrifices to raise a child. Once the kid is born you're no longer the priority.

I've just become a dad at 31 (9 weeks ago) and it's the greatest feeling in the world (for me at least)... but it's very hard work. I don't think 25 is too young to be a dad. In our parents generation when people weren't obsessed with buying the best everything for themselves, it was common to have kids in their early 20s.

As others have said, you can either support your GF and raise your child or you can leave her and support them financially. You've discussed abortion and she's said no, so to press her on the matter is not going to work in your favour.

Hope it all works out well.
 
Nix said:
Has she suddenly taken an interest in drawing pins by any chance?
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If you love your partner then I say why not. You won't regret it and even though you might have less free time than usual you will have a mini-me running around bringing u joy and everythin else
 
You might be thinking your not ready, but when that baby comes your whole life will change, your outlook on life will change as will you life style.

Don't be scared of it though, embrace it. You combined salary now might not seem like it could cope but you do get a lot of help from the the tax man, you also dont need to get a house, get a flat to start if you can afford to buy even better as that would get you on the property ladder, but dont rush things. 9 Months is a long time.
 
[DOD]Asprilla;13383285 said:
No-one ever is.
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Exactly. Keep it, maybe it is my way of thinking but I'd never even think of aborting unless the child might be born severely disabled or something like that. You make it out as if 25 is young to be having children, you're an adult now and if you didn't take the right precautions before that is your fault and you are going to have to live with it. Having a child is a blessing, will change your life but for the good rather than worse :)
 
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