Recently my Grandmother hasn't been well, around this time last year she had a minor heart attack and for about 3 months now she has barely been eating due to an as yet undiagnosed problem with her intestines. The combination of these stresses on her body have caused her to waste away to what I can only describe as a walking skeleton and as a result she passed out last week and fractured her hip.
She underwent a successful surgery last Friday where half of her hip has been replaced with a synthetic joint which was great. However obviously this has put further strain on her and she is having even more trouble eating to the point where she cannot consume solid food. She has been told she won't be able to leave the hospital until she is able to walk again, even for a fit and healthy person that would probably mean a long stay, but in her case i've begun to accept there's a good chance she will never leave the hospital due to her quickly deteriorating health.
I'm first to admit I'm a lucky guy, at present all of my grandparents are still alive, albeit one with Alzheimers, i feel silly even writing about this on here considering how much more loss many others will have experienced by my age. But therein lies the problem; aside from the death of a couple of pets I have never dealt with what I would consider real loss so i don't know how I'll react. While it sounds shallow I don't want to be sat there at the funeral bawling my eyes out, especially with my Grandfather there; a man who will be faced with the fact the love of his life is gone and he is probably going to spend the rest of his life alone, a man with far more to be upset about.
While most of this post is just a venting session to get out that which I haven't spoken to anyone about in 'real life' yet, I will end it with this:
I need to be strong for those who will be more affected by this, how can I best prepare myself for the inevitable?
She underwent a successful surgery last Friday where half of her hip has been replaced with a synthetic joint which was great. However obviously this has put further strain on her and she is having even more trouble eating to the point where she cannot consume solid food. She has been told she won't be able to leave the hospital until she is able to walk again, even for a fit and healthy person that would probably mean a long stay, but in her case i've begun to accept there's a good chance she will never leave the hospital due to her quickly deteriorating health.
I'm first to admit I'm a lucky guy, at present all of my grandparents are still alive, albeit one with Alzheimers, i feel silly even writing about this on here considering how much more loss many others will have experienced by my age. But therein lies the problem; aside from the death of a couple of pets I have never dealt with what I would consider real loss so i don't know how I'll react. While it sounds shallow I don't want to be sat there at the funeral bawling my eyes out, especially with my Grandfather there; a man who will be faced with the fact the love of his life is gone and he is probably going to spend the rest of his life alone, a man with far more to be upset about.
While most of this post is just a venting session to get out that which I haven't spoken to anyone about in 'real life' yet, I will end it with this:
I need to be strong for those who will be more affected by this, how can I best prepare myself for the inevitable?
. I cried. It was one of the 2 times I've cried in the last 8-9 years. But not long afterward I felt fine, because she was old, and she was loved, had a great life, so on and so forth. Everyone has a different take on grief. Just keep your head together, support the people that need to be supported, and remember the love 
