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Woodbines, that takes me back, (& Parkdrive) lolAnd one probably not many will get:
Man had a dog with no legs called Woodbine, he took it for a drag every night.
Groanworthy jokes
- Thread starter izzy eckerslike
- Start date
Soldato
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What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
"Do you smell carrot?"
"Do you smell carrot?"
Soldato
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There's Two sars viruses one turns to the other and says "I could murder a chinese"
My favorite rubbish joke:
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this.", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager, and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there, who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use THIS as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says......
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this.", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager, and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there, who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use THIS as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says......
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
- Joined
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- Worcestershire
Went to an Italian Restaurant and asked for something Herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.
Soldato
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- Outside in the bushes
Palm + Face
both some lols and some groans.
Soldato
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A man in his 90's, for a Special Birthday Gift from his Grandsons, is sent a Stripper to his home to entertain him. After she rings the bell of his home, she informs him that his grandsons sent her as a special birthday gift, to provide her services. The grandfather asks her, " What do you do?" She said ,"I can provide you "Sup-er Sex". “He says, “Look, I'm 98 years old, I'll take the Soup!"
Also
Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
Fo Drizzle
Also
Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
Fo Drizzle
Caporegime
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- Tamworth, UK
Oh dear
Suspended
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19 for the win!
A man goes into a shop and asks the woman for a kit kat chunky.
The woman kindly brings him the kit kat chunky to which he replies "NO I wanted a kit kat you fat *****"
A man goes into a shop and asks the woman for a kit kat chunky.
The woman kindly brings him the kit kat chunky to which he replies "NO I wanted a kit kat you fat *****"
Suspended
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I really, really dont under stand this?
Rest in the thread are good
EDIT: Got it
LOL
Associate
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No 19