WHY ARE ALL THE PUBS CLOSING? ASK PEOPLE WHO NEVER GO TO THE PUB (mash)

B@Th*nG

B@Th*nG

B@Th*nG

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Found this Daily Mash amusing:

WHY ARE ALL THE PUBS CLOSING? ASK PEOPLE WHO NEVER GO TO THE PUB

MILLIONS of people across Britain who never go to the pub were last night asking why all the pubs were closing down.

As it was revealed that 2000 pubs have closed in the last year, non-pub goers said their community would not be the same without the local pub they never went to.

Margaret Gerving, from Peterborough, said: "I was delighted when the smoking ban came in because it meant I could finally go to the pub without being killed.

"But then I didn't, mainly because I'm not the sort of person who likes going to pubs. I prefer to stay in with a carton of pomegranate juice and a bag of pine nuts and make long lists of all the things I want banned.

"Now it turns out that nobody else is going either because quite a lot of the people who used to go to the pub also liked to smoke. But none of this explains why all the pubs are closing down."

Julian Cook, from Devon, said: "Our local pub looks really lovely from the outside. It's got flower baskets and a nice old fashioned sign. Unfortunately it's used by local people with accents who dress differently from me and who are, I suspect, incredibly racist."

Former pub owner Charlie Reeves, from Hereford, said: "We were told that the smoking ban would mean lots of young mums and dads bringing their children in. But that didn't really help because there's only so much Guinness you can pour down a three year-old before it falls asleep.

"Then there's the added factor that a pub with children in it isn't really a pub, it's a ****ing hell hole."

B@
 
Also because a lot of the normal pubs have turned into gastropubs. They spend a load of cash on refurbishment and then can't pay the loan back because their drinks are overpriced and their customer base has dwindled.

There's a place down the road that charges £10 for two drinks and a packet of crisps, and another that charges £14.

I solely blame gastropubs for the UK's economic collapse!
 
B@Th*nG said:
Found this Daily Mash amusing:

WHY ARE ALL THE PUBS CLOSING? ASK PEOPLE WHO NEVER GO TO THE PUB

MILLIONS of people across Britain who never go to the pub were last night asking why all the pubs were closing down.

As it was revealed that 2000 pubs have closed in the last year, non-pub goers said their community would not be the same without the local pub they never went to.

Margaret Gerving, from Peterborough, said: "I was delighted when the smoking ban came in because it meant I could finally go to the pub without being killed.

"But then I didn't, mainly because I'm not the sort of person who likes going to pubs. I prefer to stay in with a carton of pomegranate juice and a bag of pine nuts and make long lists of all the things I want banned.

"Now it turns out that nobody else is going either because quite a lot of the people who used to go to the pub also liked to smoke. But none of this explains why all the pubs are closing down."

Julian Cook, from Devon, said: "Our local pub looks really lovely from the outside. It's got flower baskets and a nice old fashioned sign. Unfortunately it's used by local people with accents who dress differently from me and who are, I suspect, incredibly racist."

Former pub owner Charlie Reeves, from Hereford, said: "We were told that the smoking ban would mean lots of young mums and dads bringing their children in. But that didn't really help because there's only so much Guinness you can pour down a three year-old before it falls asleep.

"Then there's the added factor that a pub with children in it isn't really a pub, it's a ****ing hell hole."

B@
Click to expand...

Thats Facism err I mean Democracy in action for ya :rolleyes:
 
B@Th*nG said:
"But then I didn't, mainly because I'm not the sort of person who likes going to pubs. I prefer to stay in with a carton of pomegranate juice and a bag of pine nuts and make long lists of all the things I want banned.
Click to expand...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww Yeah! lol...
 
I like to see actual food available in pubs before I even consider going into them...

*Adds pubs to the "needing a ban" list and sips juice*
 
Lysander said:
There's a place down the road that charges £10 for two drinks and a packet of crisps, and another that charges £14.
Click to expand...

What 'two drinks' though? Either price could be quite cheap or suite expensive depending that the drink is.
 
ChrisJSY said:
People went to the pub to smoke?
The same people that smoke every 10-15mins?
Hm.
Click to expand...

I'm a smoker. Since the smoking ban came in, I hardly visit pubs anymore - I'd say I go to a local around 30% as often as I used to, as I only go when it's warm enough to sit outside without getting frostbite.

So yeah, burned.
 
Lysander said:
Two pints of beer.
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£14 for two pints of beer and a packet of crisps? I've never seen anywhere charge anywhere near that price to be honest and I drink in London regularly. Was it about £6 a pint and £2 for the crisps?

What place is this?
 
It's a crying shame really I hope it bottoms out somewhere. The tax grab on them last year whilst letting off the supermarkets was a disgrace.

The pubs I go to have hardly seen a big drop in numbers since the smoking ban. Maybe its because the clientele in those ones have realised there is a door less than 10 metres from anywhere in the pub which they could walk out to the street through to smoke?

I only ever go in the evenings and weekends though.
 
Wicksta said:
£14 for two pints of beer and a packet of crisps? I've never seen anywhere charge anywhere near that price to be honest and I drink in London regularly. Was it about £6 a pint and £2 for the crisps?

What place is this?
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I was just thinking that !
I thought most pints were about £2.80 or £1 at student night :cool:
£6 a pint, having a laugh, jog on, I don't drink (however I do get a round in) and I'd point blank refuse to pay £6 a pint.

I normally drink my cokes / orange jucies :p
 
Wicksta said:
£14 for two pints of beer and a packet of crisps? I've never seen anywhere charge anywhere near that price to be honest and I drink in London regularly. Was it about £6 a pint and £2 for the crisps?

What place is this?
Click to expand...

Tummy said:
I was just thinking that !
I thought most pints were about £2.80 or £1 at student night :cool:
£6 a pint, having a laugh, jog on, I don't drink (however I do get a round in) and I'd point blank refuse to pay £6 a pint.

I normally drink my cokes / orange jucies :p
Click to expand...

In the case of the £14 pub it was one pint of beer and a gin and tonic. The beer was about £4 and the G&T £6 [I think]. The crisps were £4. They were those kind of trendy organic crisps that came in a special tube.

It's called the Clissold Arms in Muswell Hill. It used to be an old man's pub but has now turned into a very snobby refurbished place. I'm never going back, not only for the prices, but for the staff attitude.

If I'm in central London I generally make a point of going to Samuel Smiths pubs. Not only is the beer of a good quality, but you can get two pints for under a fiver.
 
Wicksta said:
Every 10 mins? That would be 105 cigarettes per day assuming the person got an average 8 hours sleep per day.
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Operative word being day here and I wasn't being specific.

uvmain said:
I'm a smoker. Since the smoking ban came in, I hardly visit pubs anymore - I'd say I go to a local around 30% as often as I used to, as I only go when it's warm enough to sit outside without getting frostbite.

So yeah, burned.
Click to expand...

Burned? not sure what you mean.
 
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