lol joke

Infinity mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first orders a pint.
The second orders half a pint.
The third order a quarter of a pint.
The fourth orders an eighth of a pint.
Before the fifth mathematician orders, the barman goes "sod it" and pulls 2 pints.
 
Delta is sitting at home, watching TV being bored. The doorbell rings and it gets up to answer. Upon opening the door it finds Epsilon standing there.
"Epsilon! What are you doing here?" it asks.
"Oh, I was just in the neighborhood," it answers.
 
What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
 
It's not pedantry. Just pointing out that mathematicians don't care how a number is written, just what the number IS. In fact, we rarely ever deal with actual numbers anyway. It's all n, epsilon and delta.

0100111101101000001000000111001001100101011000010110110001101100011110010011111100100000010010000110111101110111001000000110100101101110011101000110010101110010011001010111001101110100011010010110111001100111
 
A frog goes into a bank and hops up to the loan officer. The frog says "Hi, what's your name?"

The loan officer says "My name is John Paddywack. Can I help you?"

The frog says "Yeah, I'd like to borrow some money."

The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. He says, "Okay, what's your name?"

The frog says "Kermit Jagger."

The loan officer says "Really? Any relation to Mick Jagger?"

The frog says "Yeah, he's my dad."

The loan officer says, "Okay. Ummm...do you have any collateral?"

The frog hands the loan officer a pink ceramic elephant and says "Will this do?"

The loan officer says "Hmmm...I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager."

The frog says "Oh, tell him I said hi. He knows me."

The loan officer goes back to the manager and says "Excuse me, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing and I'm not even sure what it is."

The manager says: "It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone."
 
How many maths students does it take to change a light bulb ?

20. One to change it and the rest to watch and discuss how exciting it is.


How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It's left to the reader as an exercise.
 
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