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Yes.
They will default to the slowest speed though.
Yes you can as said above, just don't pair a 1gb with a 512mb, as it will only give you the 512mb, as it will only give you the Ram from the card that has the lowest amount when different memory configs are used.
Also according to this review, the faster card downclocks.
http://www.hardwarecanucks.com/forum/hardware-canucks-reviews/9159-ati-hd4870-hd4850-crossfire-performance-review-16.html
I think they do run at their own independant speeds, but that doesn't make a difference, as the faster card will always have to wait for the slower card, so thats probably why they say you see no increase in performance, as the clock speeds mean diddly squat, the faster card always has to keep stopping and waiting for the slower one, so in effect they may as well be running the same speeds.