Covering Letter

Welshy · 18 Apr 2009 at 14:36

Ok DrDee, we get it, you don't like Aruffell very much, so you can stop trolling now.

The covering letter I'm currently using in job apps is just over half an A4, and includes a little more detail about my past work experiences (which you've included), as well as any other qualifications or skills that may make me sound more employable.

[TR]SweetSpotOz · 18 Apr 2009 at 14:51

Andy · 18 Apr 2009 at 15:01

Looks good :thumbs:

DrDee · 18 Apr 2009 at 15:25

Welshy said:
Ok DrDee, we get it, you don't like Aruffell very much, so you can stop trolling now.

It's not trolling, I have been deadly serious.

markyp23 said:
More interestingly how you signed up eight months after that thread was posted?

That's not interesting at all, it was recently posted in the "greatest threads in Motors"

Duke · 18 Apr 2009 at 15:29

Try and cut down on the amount of sentences beginning with I.

paradigm · 19 Apr 2009 at 22:08

Try and use punctuation that makes sense, its awfully written.

If I received that as a cover letter, I'd bin it.

cover letter said:
administrate my own website

Seriously, WTF?

[TW]Fox · 19 Apr 2009 at 22:10

To be honest I'd re-write the entire thing. It's very disjointed and poorly written and the grammar is particularly poor. First impressions are EVERYTHING - you need to sound like an educated professional if you want them to even consider interviewing you for a management role. For example:

I also founded and administrate my own website in regards to technology

Just doesn't read well. Very little of it does.

I feel that I am well qualified to make an effective and useful contribution to the company and I’m very enthusiastic about the chance to participate in a meaningful role within your company.

company twice? Why?

Also, over 10 staff? So 11 then?

You’ll see from my CV that I have been deeply involved in management and development of the companies I have worked for.

Does your CV really demonstrate that? I don't think it does, so don't put it in. Doing the rotas in a phone shop is not being deeply involved in the management and development of a national company. You've implied you are capable of tasks way above your actual capabilities - they will see right through this so don't waste your time. Be honest.

years of experience in retail at a senior management level.

As above. You do not have years of experience in senior management. People with years of experience in SENIOR management are older than you and have held positions considerably more senior than team leader in a phone shop. This won't wash with a credible employer.

Don't big yourself up with loads of fake crap. Go for a nice, simple, well written, intelligent and educated letter detailing what you can ACTUALLY offer them.

My advice is harsh but not as harsh as the shredder your current covering letter is heading directly for if you send it in its current form. If this is the best you can come up with on your own is management really your thing? Perhaps start as a sales assistant?

PeterNem · 19 Apr 2009 at 22:10

I'm with Paradigm.... it looks like a draft that's still in need of more work.

peterattheboro · 20 Apr 2009 at 12:03

DrDee said:
Generally about what you have got, but you want to make it stand out. I suggest useing a snazy font in rainbow colours and putting some bad ass DRANGONS on it, you just know the area manager is going to see it and be like "oh snap son, this dude has DRAGONS all up on his CV dawg, we need to read this one"

If the manager isn't bad ass enough to appreciate that, then you probably don't want to work there, but if you still do, the rainbow colours will just scream "I have a sensitive colourful side"

Hahahaha!

Amleto · 20 Apr 2009 at 13:09

"in regards to" is also nasty English.