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Meh
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Struggling..
- Thread starter IwantanewPC
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Objectively speaking fella, she sounds like she has a lot of self-confidence issues and as such also loves to surround herself with drama.
I'm not saying what you feel isn't genuine, but she sounds like she needs to sort her head out because honestly, it's not fair on you. Chances are she's secretly hoping you'll drop everything and go running.
I'm not saying what you feel isn't genuine, but she sounds like she needs to sort her head out because honestly, it's not fair on you. Chances are she's secretly hoping you'll drop everything and go running.
Translation: She'll wait at least 2 weeks before banging that other bloke she's had her eye on
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Well I've asked her and she said she does love me, although to be fair I've have told my first ex I loved her but I now know I didn't because what I felt for her was nothing compared to this girl.
What makes you think there might be someone else involved? As I've said, I've asked her and she's told me and I believe her.
You're saying she probably wants me to forget about her you mean?
Sounds like the ex, Sarah, was pushing things a bit with the texts (who texts just to say goodnight? Please) and the kisses in the texts. I think most women, even the most trusting, would find that at least a bit odd.
If my limited experience is anything to go by, never believe anything that comes out of a girl's mouth when it comes down to these issues. Trust your instincts and trust your friends; they often see things you've been blind to.
Someone else? That's probably just bitter jesting, don't read into that too much, but then again, don't be too surprised if it's true.
Honestly, at this point in time you're best off cutting your losses and moving on. If she comes running back to you, she was **** stirring for some drama. If she walks, then hey, at least you're already moving on. Nothing will **** her off more than to think you don't care - this is exactly why some girls create this drama; to pander to their insecurities.
Someone else? That's probably just bitter jesting, don't read into that too much, but then again, don't be too surprised if it's true.
Honestly, at this point in time you're best off cutting your losses and moving on. If she comes running back to you, she was **** stirring for some drama. If she walks, then hey, at least you're already moving on. Nothing will **** her off more than to think you don't care - this is exactly why some girls create this drama; to pander to their insecurities.
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I don't dispute that at all. I know how Michelle must have felt now and I wish I could go back and fix it, it's one of the things I regret most. It's just in my head I knew that Sarah meant nothing to me like that anymore and because I was so sure of that in MY head I didn't feel the need to do a lot to reassure Michelle.
I would lean to the other guy route as you have said she had always come back to you which shows she doesn't like being alone, now that she has left for good it would show that she has someone else.
Also even if it is just a fancy at the moment she will probably have someone else on the cards.
KaHn
Also even if it is just a fancy at the moment she will probably have someone else on the cards.
KaHn
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If my limited experience is anything to go by, never believe anything that comes out of a girl's mouth when it comes down to these issues. Trust your instincts and trust your friends; they often see things you've been blind to.
Someone else? That's probably just bitter jesting, don't read into that too much, but then again, don't be too surprised if it's true.
Honestly, at this point in time you're best off cutting your losses and moving on. If she comes running back to you, she was **** stirring for some drama. If she walks, then hey, at least you're already moving on. Nothing will **** her off more than to think you don't care - this is exactly why some girls create this drama; to pander to their insecurities.
I see what you're saying mate, definitely. But like I said, one of the main reasons I've fallen so deeply in love with this girl is because of how genuine I think she is. I was her first serious (perhaps and probably even her first full stop) relationship. What she says I believe, and it's funny you mentioned our friends because I've asked a few that I trust the most whether they think there is any chance she likes someone else and they have all pretty much said the same thing - the idea is ridiculous and there is no chance.
So, you had a relationship where you had frequent arguments, and split up several times.
And you considered this fine and dandy?
Clearly she didn't, and she's simply had enough.
Not much you can do lad, find yourself a new hobby that involves lots of people to get yourself busy and away from her lot for a while.
And you considered this fine and dandy?
Clearly she didn't, and she's simply had enough.
Not much you can do lad, find yourself a new hobby that involves lots of people to get yourself busy and away from her lot for a while.
Translation: She'll wait at least 2 weeks before banging that other bloke she's had her eye on
Quoted for the truth, and from experience.
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You're right but I can't help the way I feel about her and it's always easier said than done to just forget.
I can't really get away from her lot because they are my closest friends and they go along way to making me happy, atleast for a little.
I'm just trying to stop all the posts which are mentioning other blokes, and how she must be lying, and yadda yadda. Whether she's found a new one or not, to me that was clearly never a happy relationship.
During it, maybe if you'd worked together on the reasons for the arguments, and the things she stated as reasons for ditching you before, you might have saved it.
But I guess things didn't improve, so off she went. Too late, now.
It /is/ hard to forget. And it sucks. Time /is/ a healer, no matter how cliché that sounds.
Maybe next time don't assume that frequent arguments and splittings-up are fine inside a relationship, and never assume that the girl is perfectly happy in it just because she 'seems happy'.
As a rule, men seem (in the main, I'm generalising here) to decide a girl is right and fine for him, and unless she does something really wrong, his opinion doesn't change. Women constantly re-evaluate, they need to be reassured of the guy's feelings every now and then through word or action, and even if rubbishness like arguments have always been a feature of a relationship, they will keep asking themselves if it's worth it. Eventually her analysis came up as a 'no', I guess.
During it, maybe if you'd worked together on the reasons for the arguments, and the things she stated as reasons for ditching you before, you might have saved it.
But I guess things didn't improve, so off she went. Too late, now.
It /is/ hard to forget. And it sucks. Time /is/ a healer, no matter how cliché that sounds.
Maybe next time don't assume that frequent arguments and splittings-up are fine inside a relationship, and never assume that the girl is perfectly happy in it just because she 'seems happy'.
As a rule, men seem (in the main, I'm generalising here) to decide a girl is right and fine for him, and unless she does something really wrong, his opinion doesn't change. Women constantly re-evaluate, they need to be reassured of the guy's feelings every now and then through word or action, and even if rubbishness like arguments have always been a feature of a relationship, they will keep asking themselves if it's worth it. Eventually her analysis came up as a 'no', I guess.
On a side note and a generalisation I have found that as you have said most women will re-evaluate their relationship but will normally only end it if it is really bad or if their is something better.
Hence the other person comments, but that just comes from what I have seen girls/women do in the past with friends.
KaHn
Couldn'T have put it better myself.
its going to be hard to come to terms with but it looks like its clearly time to move on chap
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Well if you broke up from someone and felt numb and like you didn't want to have a go for a while - then someone comes and takes your breath away - why wouldn't you?I was only messing about, but in my experience, just because they say they don't want to get involved for a long time, it doesn't mean they won't
People are people, they change their minds all the time.
Also, nowt wrong with a little rebound action to make you feel better.
I was only messing about, but in my experience, just because they say they don't want to get involved for a long time, it doesn't mean they won't
Truth from my experience too, lol.
How old are the OP and Michelle then?
If you were her first serious relationship (or possibly first ever), then that's issue number 1, which is exacerbated by issue number 2 (arguments and splitting up a few times). You then still being in contact with your ex (which is tricky in any situation) would be a massive perceived threat to her, especially given issue number 1.
Very few people stay in their first relationship for the long haul, as harsh as it might sound, she probably got itchy feet owing to the 3 issues above and her probably having a 'grass is greener' moment and wanting something better.
Be strong, it isn't the end of the world, and someone will come along that wants to be with you, you can't force love.