Friday Joke Thread!

Hilly

Hilly

Hilly

Don
Joined
17 May 2004
Posts
12,846
Location
Telford, Shropshire
Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request.

A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"

Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes.

When he finishes the whole place goes wild.

The little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz
chord, play a Jazz chord."

A bit ticked off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise.

The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz chord."

Well and truly outraged that this little guy doesn't seem to
Appreciate his playing ability, Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smart donkey. You get up here and do it!"

The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and starts to sing

"A jazz chord to say I ruv you...
 
A visitor to a mental institution asked the director how it was decided which patients should be kept in and which were ready to be discharged.

The director said: ”Well, we fill up a bath, then offer the patient a teaspoon, a teacup or a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub”.

The visitor said, “Oh, I see, and of course a normal person would chose the bucket because it’s the biggest”.

The director said: “No! A normal person would pull the plug out.”

“Would you like a bed near the window?”
 
What's blue and square?

An orange in disguise.

-------------------------------

Many people embarrass their family by coming out of the closet.

David Carradine embarrassed his by trying to come in it.
 
Last edited:
Fenris said:
A visitor to a mental institution asked the director how it was decided which patients should be kept in and which were ready to be discharged.

The director said: ”Well, we fill up a bath, then offer the patient a teaspoon, a teacup or a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub”.

The visitor said, “Oh, I see, and of course a normal person would chose the bucket because it’s the biggest”.

The director said: “No! A normal person would pull the plug out.”

“Would you like a bed near the window?”
Click to expand...


Old but better than OP 7/10 :p

Le_Petit_Lapin said:
What's blue and square?

An orange in disguise.
Click to expand...

Lies!!! It's a banana In disguise! :p
 
I almost did a single lol at the joke in the OP, but only the first time I heard it. Today I nearly said 'hm' when I breathed out, but it never came.
 
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