From what I can gather and the little knowledge I have of OC'ing a i7, I would bet your ram is holding you back. When you increase your qpi, you in return increase your ram speed (or should anyhow). I'm at 3.8 with a 21x multiplier which puts my ram about 1440mhz or something in that range. If your ram taps out @ 1333, then you will never achieve your 3.8.
Please someone correct me if I'm wrong...
Buy some 1600mhz ram, and clock it to 1066 in your bios, then increase your qpi to 185 with your turbo on, speed step off. That would surely give you 3.8 with no probs as that is how I got mine. If you have read all of the guides you say you have, this should be a piece of cake. I would be more than happy to offer free help, but I speaka da engrish...
Step one, buy better ram.
Step two, bump this thread...