I do sound bitter and like an arse
Correct.

When my partners Xerox died 1 month outside warranty I phoned them and they offered a repair service at a cost of £65. As it was a 4:3 19" monitor and the repair was only warranted for 3 months we figured it wasn't worth it and got a Samsung 20" widescreen instead.
I would also have expected Dell to offer a similar service and admit to being surprised that they don't.