Wednesday Joke!
- Thread starter Kerplunk
- Start date
Soldato
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Old and not very funny.
STOP! All of you stop!
Joke threads on here are not meant to be funny
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "**** off, you won't bring it back."
Soldato
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- 12 May 2005
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That wasn't bad at all! One of the better jokes here honestly!
Soldato
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- 5 Sep 2005
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From a very young age my son has been confined to a wheelchair. Whilst he’s become very skilled in using it, there have been obvious problems for him. Throughout school he has had to watch from the sidelines as the other kids played football and ran around and he was subjected to terrible teasing and bullying.
It has also meant that his legs have withered as all his exercise is in the upper body. He needs assistance getting in and out of the chair so basic things like going to the toilet require a carer. If I’m honest, I think that it has had a really negative impact on his childhood.
It will all be worth it though, to see his delighted little face on his 18th birthday when I tell him that he’s not really disabled. Best present ever!
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This one is terrible, I apologise:
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A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
FASTER...FASTER...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP......
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.
clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP....clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, as the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...and....
The coffin stops
It has also meant that his legs have withered as all his exercise is in the upper body. He needs assistance getting in and out of the chair so basic things like going to the toilet require a carer. If I’m honest, I think that it has had a really negative impact on his childhood.
It will all be worth it though, to see his delighted little face on his 18th birthday when I tell him that he’s not really disabled. Best present ever!
---------------------------
This one is terrible, I apologise:
---------------------------
A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
FASTER...FASTER...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP......
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.
clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP....clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, as the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...and....
The coffin stops
Last edited:
Man of Honour
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^^
Caporegime
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