A massive moral dilemma - how do I approach this?

Stringy

Stringy

Stringy

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A moral dilemma - how do I approach this?

I would like to caveat all of the below with the fact that I had been drinking at the time...

I'd been drinking in the bar, when upon returning to my computer discovered that for some reason when I went to my webmail page it asked me to log in (usually keeps me logged in) As I started typing my email address my girlfriend's came up in the auto complete, so for a laugh I decided in some sort of twisted drunken logic that if I could guess her password that I deserved to read her emails (retarded, I know). After a couple of failed attempts I decided to see if I could guess her security question - which upon looking at discovered it was as simple as knowing the name of her first school teacher. This shocked me, and I typed it in (with actually trembling hands) and horrifyingly it asked me for a new password. At this stage of the game I **** myself and closed the browser, coming to my senses that reading someone elses emails isn't big or clever, especially your girlfriends.

Now here comes the dilemma. I know the answer to her security question, but am obviously never going to read her emails. Should I tell her that she needs to change her security question? The proof that I haven't read her emails being that the password has remained the same... because the dilemma is telling her she needs to change her security question reveals that I tried to answer it, and succeeded, drawing myself into disrepute. I view this almost like cheating on someone, but realising the error of your ways and as such never coming clean as you're not going to do it again - the only problem being not coming clean means that her email security will remain in jeapordy!

Genuinely stumped here! Should I keep shtum? Or should I dream up some sort of scheme to come up with a feasible innocent reason to have stumbled across her question being too easy? :confused:

And before anyone feels the need to highlight it to me - yes, I am going to hell.
 
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Ascendancy said:
If you're never going to use it, what does it matter if you know the answer to the security question?
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Because I'm not the only person that knows the name of her first teacher? And in this day and age it only takes a tagged class photo or something daft like that for the information to fall out? Just think it isn't very secure!
 
Don't say a word. Doubt many people will try to hack it and if they don't know her like you they are hardly going to know who her first teacher was..

Also it is hardly the end of the world if someone does hack it tbh.
 
a lot of people know my mother's maiden name. But I trust them not to change my password. And If it does get changed, I'll know about it.
 
I guess more than anything I was surprised that it only took one security question, and not a combination a la online banking. You'd almost expect a combination of a tricky and easy question, when all you get is one simple question and a captcha.
 
You - "Hey, just had someone try hacking my email, changed my security questions to be safe. Btw you should check yours, make sure it isn't easy. I'll help you."

Her - "Ok."

Problem solved.
 
This is precisely the reason you should never answer secret questions truthfully.

Stringy, just don't do anything. On the off chance her email account ever does get cracked, she'll know about it. It's not as if having an easy to guess secret question means someone else can surreptitiously read her emails without her knowledge.
 
asim18 said:
a lot of people know my mother's maiden name. But I trust them not to change my password. And If it does get changed, I'll know about it.
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When you know it'll be too late :rolleyes:

Sin_Chase said:
I never understood why reading someone else's e-mail is a sign of distrust :p

Nothing to hide, no issue. /shrug
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For me it'd be the fact that they went behind my back to read my email. If they want to know something just come out and ask it, or ask to read my email themselves, no need to do it behind my back.

I'd distrust them more for the fact they read it behind my back than actually reading it... if you get what I mean :p

Stringy said:
I would like to caveat all of the below with the fact that I had been drinking at the time...

I'd been drinking in the bar, when upon returning to my computer discovered that for some reason when I went to my webmail page it asked me to log in (usually keeps me logged in) As I started typing my email address my girlfriend's came up in the auto complete, so for a laugh I decided in some sort of twisted drunken logic that if I could guess her password that I deserved to read her emails (retarded, I know). After a couple of failed attempts I decided to see if I could guess her security question - which upon looking at discovered it was as simple as knowing the name of her first school teacher. This shocked me, and I typed it in (with actually trembling hands) and horrifyingly it asked me for a new password. At this stage of the game I **** myself and closed the browser, coming to my senses that reading someone elses emails isn't big or clever, especially your girlfriends.

Now here comes the dilemma. I know the answer to her security question, but am obviously never going to read her emails. Should I tell her that she needs to change her security question? The proof that I haven't read her emails being that the password has remained the same... because the dilemma is telling her she needs to change her security question reveals that I tried to answer it, and succeeded, drawing myself into disrepute. I view this almost like cheating on someone, but realising the error of your ways and as such never coming clean as you're not going to do it again - the only problem being not coming clean means that her email security will remain in jeapordy!

Genuinely stumped here! Should I keep shtum? Or should I dream up some sort of scheme to come up with a feasible innocent reason to have stumbled across her question being too easy? :confused:

And before anyone feels the need to highlight it to me - yes, I am going to hell.
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Just tell her you were being a pro hacker and checking the safety of her account :p
 
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shauncr91 said:
You can't be serious :/
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At the end of the day if you feel you need/want to read your other halves e-mails then I really do not see an issue, no.

If they have nothing to hide or anything that may be questionable why would they have an issue with it?

It's cheating if you would not want your other half to see or read it.

If my bird had security issues that she thought reading my e-mail would help, go for it?
 
I wouldn't wprry about it, you saw the light, realised what you were doing, would've been worse if you'd realised after you were already in

I could probably quite easily change the passwords/get into the accounts of my nearest and dearest, but I don't see why bother, for one, I highly doubt I'll find anything more intersting than online purchases, and besides that, I always like to hope that in the emails, they're all talking about a surprise party just for me with cake and hats and I don't want to ruin it for myself :D
 
Just say something like (if you are concerned for her security)

"I was reading the other day that people choose the obvious answers on their security questions. It means a lot of email addresses are comprimised, I had to change my own just yesterday!" as part of a random conversation. It will probably prompt her to change it.

I personally use the pet name thing, but go with something totally different to the question that is asked. IE it will ask for pet name, and I'll put in the name of a TV show or something :p
 
Sin_Chase said:
At the end of the day if you feel you need/want to read your other halves e-mails then I really do not see an issue, no.

If they have nothing to hide or anything that may be questionable why would they have an issue with it?

It's cheating if you would not want your other half to see or read it.

If my bird had security issues that she thought reading my e-mail would help, go for it?
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But if you trusted them, you'd have no reason to read their emails. Hence it's a sign of distrust.

Really, it's one of those things you can go back and forth on all night and nobody is correct or wrong.

Asking to read is a sign of distrust.
Denieing access to read your emails could be considered hideing something, but then again it's your right to privacy.
 
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