18 year old wants a car.

It's one of those things as a parent you can either afford to do, or can't so ensure they become self sufficient, or a mix of paying.
 
Build in a condition that he has to keep the job and if you get the feeling he is starting to delibarately slack in order to get the sack from it, you'll cancel the insurance on the car. Simplez.

He will no doubt want the insurance in his name to build up no claims so as soon as it's in his name you can't cancel it (unless you pay monthly I guess but then it's more expensive to do so).

I didn't have a licence until I was 28 and payed for it myself - it's not limiting at all - what is limiting is peoples ability to use public transport or there own legs. If he wants to get a car then let him get it - it's the only way he will learn when he has to save up the money, he has to pay the insurance / fuel / road tax.



M.
 
So is he your son? The wording sort of implies it's somebody you know but then you mention the wife?

If it's your son then I'd give him a good boot up the arse, take away the financial support he currently has and tell him to get on with it.

My daughters started uni in September and she's been working part-time since she turned 18 as she knew that she'd need money when at uni.

I can see my elder son being just like the lad you've described but I've got the big boot ready just in case :D
 
Just to echo what others have said. I paid for all my lessons and test fees on around £60 a week. It also had to cover food and busses and I managed fine.

My dad sorted my car out for me, it was money I was 'owed' from when I was younger but I think he would have helped me out anyway.
 
Just to echo what others have said. I paid for all my lessons and test fees on around £60 a week. It also had to cover food and busses and I managed fine.

My dad sorted my car out for me, it was money I was 'owed' from when I was younger but I think he would have helped me out anyway.

That's the thing though isn't it. As a parent if you can see that your kids are trying to do their own thing and pay their way then I really wouldn't mind helping, so if my daughter turned around and said she wants a car I'd probably get her one but if she had done nothing then I'd most definitely say no.
 
I didn't have a licence until I was 28 and payed for it myself - it's not limiting at all - what is limiting is peoples ability to use public transport or there own legs. If he wants to get a car then let him get it - it's the only way he will learn when he has to save up the money, he has to pay the insurance / fuel / road tax.

Many people i know that have got their licence in their late 20's have always said it seems to be harder because there is so much more going on. It always seems to be easier for people to pass between the ages os about 17-23. People just don't seem as bothered after that.

And i wouldn't tell him to "save up and buy everything himself" as he just simply won't be able to afford it.
Insurance - ~£1300
Tax- £150
Car - £1500

How many 17 year olds, even with the best financial skills, can save up over £3000 on a Saturday job?

I honestly think using this opportunity to make him get a job and get out there and you paying for his car, is far more valuable than trying to force him to save up money he doesn't have.
 
Many people i know that have got their licence in their late 20's have always said it seems to be harder because there is so much more going on. It always seems to be easier for people to pass between the ages os about 17-23. People just don't seem as bothered after that.

And i wouldn't tell him to "save up and buy everything himself" as he just simply won't be able to afford it.
Insurance - ~£1300
Tax- £150
Car - £1500

How many 17 year olds, even with the best financial skills, can save up over £3000 on a Saturday job?

I honestly think using this opportunity to make him get a job and get out there and you paying for his car, is far more valuable than trying to force him to save up money he doesn't have.

Best compromise, it's why we are paying for lessons, car wise, he will have to contribute.
 
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How many 17 year olds, even with the best financial skills, can save up over £3000 on a Saturday job?

Indeed. Expecting him to afford that much outright is unreasonable. But him expecting you to give him everything is also totally unreasonable.

When I started learning, I was working part time and my parents helped me out with lessons etc.

If he's too bone idle to get a job or take any sort of financial responsibility, then he can go without until he grows up and learns the value of money. If he gets a job, shows initiative and then asks for help, then fair game IMO.
 
Well my 17 yr old stepson is getting driving lessons for his birthday, I dont expect him to go to work while he is full time studying. But fine if others think this is him lazy, as he is far from it, and I would rather he did well now in his study's than take a job.

Mind you, he doesn't get handouts to go drinking. Or drink! He has money saved up from odd part time work.

You going to buy him a car and insure it for him as well?

It's one of those things as a parent you can either afford to do, or can't so ensure they become self sufficient, or a mix of paying.

Even if they can afford it, it's not a great idea IMO. Working hard to to be able to afford something gives you a much better idea of the value of money.
 
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He can't afford a car, I had to go out and work my arse off to pay for every last little bit of motoring at my age.

I hate this "I'm a student I don't need a job" I've been a full time student since I left school and I've worked since I was in school, always done well in my studies and always found time to have a social life. It's not rocket science, it just involves not being lazy, tell him to get off his arse and pay for it himself.

Overtime and a second job along with luck have allowed me to get something quite good as my second car.
 
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So is he your son? The wording sort of implies it's somebody you know but then you mention the wife?

If it's your son then I'd give him a good boot up the arse, take away the financial support he currently has and tell him to get on with it.

My daughters started uni in September and she's been working part-time since she turned 18 as she knew that she'd need money when at uni.

I can see my elder son being just like the lad you've described but I've got the big boot ready just in case :D
hes my step son im not in a position to take away all the nice things he has, his mum my wife wont allow it.

i dont mind paying for 1-2 weeks worth of driving lessons and going 50/50 towards a half decent car to give him a headstart provided he get some kind of income so he can actually run a car.

3k+ no way. i can already see him tapping his mum for petrol money every day instead of busfare and if anything goes wrong i can see where hes going to turn for the money to get the car fixed.

some people would be happy with a 28inch hdtv , xbox360 , free internet laptop, free meals , mobile phone on contract and a roof.

he doesnt even buy his own clothes would anyone else here seriously want to gift him a car and everything that comes with it?

am i really in the wrong here? as far as i see it he could get a job and it wouldnt take him long at all to save up for a car we wouldnt take any money off him or stop what hes already getting from us so far.
 
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You going to buy him a car and insure it for him as well?

No, go read the rest of my posts, rather than jump on the first!

Even if they can afford it, it's not a great idea IMO. Working hard to to be able to afford something gives you a much better idea of the value of money.

Not true, and it's impractical to expect an 18yr old full time student to be able to save enough for all those things on a part time job while trying to study properly as well.

Few children will learn the value of money until they are 100% self sufficient.

Sure some can manage, but they are the exception that proves the rule, and I wouldnt want my children in a botched up £200 car as an inexperienced driver.

To put it in real terms, and this is exactly the same thing, your child is 13 and needs a new bike, do you say no and send him on a paper route or do you get him the bike as a gift for Xmas/Birthday? Maybe you will do a bit of both.

Different parents do it differently, neither is right or wrong, they are choices based on affordability in most cases.

When I was young (17) I had both scenarios, my father tought me to drive (free) bought me my first car and I insured and ran it, but I wasnt a full time student, just had a poor income. I bought my first moped myself.

I am all for geting someone who is lazy to learn to have responsibilities, and sure, if he is living on handouts, he needs to get a grip, but my stepson is neither. He is hardworking, has a small evening job, and is working towards studying as a doctor. I would rather assist him now and ensure he gets his qualifications than have to worry more about paying for his car and neglecting his studies.

Everything has to be a balance, show some commitment to being responsible, and I will help all you need. Be a lazy little *** and you will reap what you sow, ie nothing!
 
hes my step son im not in a position to take away all the nice things he has, his mum my wife wont allow it.

i dont mind paying for 1-2 weeks worth of driving lessons and going 50/50 towards a half decent car to give him a headstart provided he get some kind of income so he can actually run a car.

3k+ no way. i can already see him tapping his mum for petrol money every day instead of busfare and if anything goes wrong i can see where hes going to turn for the money to get the car fixed.

some people would be happy with a 28inch hdtv , xbox360 , free internet , free meals , mobile phone on contract and a roof.

he doesnt even buy his own clothes would anyone else here seriously want to gift him a car and everything that comes with it?

am i really in the wrong here? as far as i see it he could get a job and it wouldnt take him long at all to save up for a car we wouldnt take any money off him or stop what hes already getting from us so far.

Now the picture is clear, he is taking the **** you are right in what you are saying and you are making a fair contribution.

He should be considering weekend work of some sort.
 
I'm all for people standing on their own two feet but I also think that there's no shame in giving or getting a leg up every now and then. They still have to do the climbing, but if you can help them on their way then why wouldn't you? What good does it do for them to be working hard and struggling beyond belief when you could give them a hand and have it pay dividends in the future?
 
When I was 17 and a full time student my mum went 50/50 on driving lessons and I had to pay for my car and insurance myself. If he's under the impression that all the stuff he wants is far too expensive for him to buy on his own then why not asking him how he expects you to afford it too when you're paying all the other bills?
 
If he's under the impression that all the stuff he wants is far too expensive for him to buy on his own then why not asking him how he expects you to afford it too when you're paying all the other bills?
Because even with a Saturday job at say £6 p/h, he'd still get less than £2.5 a year. Most of the country earn 10x that as a household.
 
No, go read the rest of my posts, rather than jump on the first!

The thread was about the OP (or his other half) buying/insuring a car for an 18 year old, that's why I mentioned it. Paying for lessons is little different to paying for education, and the sums involved are usually far lower than a car+insurance.


Not true,

We'll have to agree to disagree on that. I'm not suggesting that parents shouldn't help, but handouts of this magnitude certainly isn't a great way of instilling any sense of value into someone IMO.
 
And not giving the handouts and making them work doesn't instill those values either. Just a blame if they fail later...

It has to be a part of an overall upbringing, something that OP's wife MAY have blown already.

Often the case with broken marriages or death of a parent.
 
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Why should he?

It is in his interest to learn to drive ASAP though, even if he doesn't have a car after passing. It will save him money in the longrun.

If he gets a job he'll have his own money to spend, i thought it was obvious :confused:

One off car fee in exchange for not having to pay him pocket money and taxi-ing him about, sounds fair to me.

MW
 
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