Does everyone front happiness...
- Thread starter Bleek
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Drink a bottle of cough syrup and a shot of vodka every day
[/House]
No seriously, don't do this
weird you should say that, when i was 14/15 (21 years ago
) we used to drink vodka and benylin, I consider it the original Vodka Redbull.In all seriousness though, it does like your over analysing the whole thing, I think in different measures most people have bouts of (mild) depression. Its the old tears of clown thing for me. Go for a good old fashioned angry run, the endorphins released work wonders.
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weird you should say that, when i was 14/15 (21 years ago
It was because of the substance called Dextromethorphan (aka DXM) that is commonly found in cough medacine, its a halucinagenic.
weird you should say that, when i was 14/15 (21 years ago
In all seriousness though, it does like your over analysing the whole thing, I think in different measures most people have bouts of (mild) depression. Its the old tears of clown thing for me. Go for a good old fashioned angry run, the endorphins released work wonders.
I'm not trying that, I hate cough medicine!
I prefer an hour on the rowing machine but I do run, on a treadmill though.
Tears of a clown, quite apt at times.
I have always said I don't want to get married.
I agree with the op. I just try to stay as active as possible, try as many different things as I can, and hope that someday something clicks. Saying that, nothing has so far.
On the contrary, I've been happier since I got married than I've ever been.
I highly suspect that your unhappiness is tightly tied to you being an introvert; I think the two go hand in hand. As a teenager I was very introverted, and had great plans to go an work somewhere very remote on my own. 12 years later I'm happily married with a lovely home and great friends. I think the only thing that has fundamentally changed is that I'm no longer an introvert!
Soldato
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- 17 Jan 2006
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Having skimmed over the thread to an extent, I have to say that I used to be in this very same boat, and was for many years. I was able to enjoy a lot of things such as going out with my friends etc but somehow everything seemed a little hollow and didn't really touch me to my core.
Any body that met me would probably have put me down as being a bit of and extrovert and fairly confident and chatty, they wouldn't see that inside I had what I described (in rather a teenager angst type way...) a darkness that at times felt like it was consuming me.
I kept all my emotions bottled up and never let anyone know how I was feeling, becauase I suppose, I didn't know how to react to things that were getting me down and worrying me.
To get all angsty again, I finally saw a crack in the darkness and a way to deal with things. It came about when my Nan who I was very close to died suddenly. I felt so so upset and hurt. And for the first time in a very long time I opened up and spoke to good friends about how I was feeling and how upset I was about it. As I was talking, it felt like a lot of the weight of things lifted from my shoulders.
This really opened my eyes to the power of talking about things, feelings, emotions, worries, concerns etc etc. Since then I have been a much more open person and everytime I talk about how I am feeling, it really feels like such a huge relief.
My advice to anyone that feels like this is to open up to someone, a friend, family or even a perfect stranger (the samaritans for example). To get things out of your mind and into words is an incredibly powerful thing.
There might be the initial fear that committing worries/fears etc to words will make them more real which I suppose it does, but it also gives you the opportunity to analyse all these things which have been weighing on your mind and I guarentee that most of the thigns which seem enormous in your mind, once talked about and looked at will seem very much smaller and less troubling.
Any body that met me would probably have put me down as being a bit of and extrovert and fairly confident and chatty, they wouldn't see that inside I had what I described (in rather a teenager angst type way...) a darkness that at times felt like it was consuming me.
I kept all my emotions bottled up and never let anyone know how I was feeling, becauase I suppose, I didn't know how to react to things that were getting me down and worrying me.
To get all angsty again, I finally saw a crack in the darkness and a way to deal with things. It came about when my Nan who I was very close to died suddenly. I felt so so upset and hurt. And for the first time in a very long time I opened up and spoke to good friends about how I was feeling and how upset I was about it. As I was talking, it felt like a lot of the weight of things lifted from my shoulders.
This really opened my eyes to the power of talking about things, feelings, emotions, worries, concerns etc etc. Since then I have been a much more open person and everytime I talk about how I am feeling, it really feels like such a huge relief.
My advice to anyone that feels like this is to open up to someone, a friend, family or even a perfect stranger (the samaritans for example). To get things out of your mind and into words is an incredibly powerful thing.
There might be the initial fear that committing worries/fears etc to words will make them more real which I suppose it does, but it also gives you the opportunity to analyse all these things which have been weighing on your mind and I guarentee that most of the thigns which seem enormous in your mind, once talked about and looked at will seem very much smaller and less troubling.
All this sounds very familiar.
In a strange way it's comforting to know that there are others feeling the same way
Threads like these come up from time to time and it does surprise me how many of us feel the same and suffer from similar issues and problems. I would agree though, it is oddly comforting.
I feel for you all, I really do.
Echoing a valve90210 above, I think people play a large part - I (an only child) also will tend to try and hole myself away when unhappy or stressed or angry. But it takes me AGES to change my own frame of mind, my frustration sits in a little well, festering on for a long time before I can start to see the lighter side of things.
If I go out and do something, see someone - and (this is the crucial bit) let my annoyance come out to someone I love and trust (even as a friend), it does help. Just like admitting to the world that you don't feel good. Like you're doing on this forum now.
And, people have mentioned hobbies - it's trite but it's true.
My bloke has been frustrated and bored with his working life (and hence a large proportion of life in general) for ages. I'm very frustrated at my own - but I have my dancing social life (which also gives me goals and something to work on) and my plan for the future (PGCE, teaching, etc). He's no such big plans, he spent most of his weekday evenings doing routine things, and his hobby of playing guitar wasn't getting him anywhere...
...UNTIL he went to do something proactive about it. He found someone into the right kind of music online to practice and compose and possibly now form a band with - and it's given his non-working life more direction.
I think people also can get stuck into the trap of seeing getting a nice boyfriend/girlfriend as a goal. I mean, it /is/, but unless you then move rapidly into making babies (who has time for hobbies /and/ children, huh?) - even the most loving relationship won't fix boredom in life.
Only the most dull people are content with only working, pubs, and goings-out at weekends. Most people need that little bit extra to keep them from falling into the hole you feel you're falling into.
Nothing wrong with upping sticks and going travelling/getting experience - who knows, the thing that keeps you going in life may be on the other side of the planet! How would you otherwise find out?
Echoing a valve90210 above, I think people play a large part - I (an only child) also will tend to try and hole myself away when unhappy or stressed or angry. But it takes me AGES to change my own frame of mind, my frustration sits in a little well, festering on for a long time before I can start to see the lighter side of things.
If I go out and do something, see someone - and (this is the crucial bit) let my annoyance come out to someone I love and trust (even as a friend), it does help. Just like admitting to the world that you don't feel good. Like you're doing on this forum now.
And, people have mentioned hobbies - it's trite but it's true.
My bloke has been frustrated and bored with his working life (and hence a large proportion of life in general) for ages. I'm very frustrated at my own - but I have my dancing social life (which also gives me goals and something to work on) and my plan for the future (PGCE, teaching, etc). He's no such big plans, he spent most of his weekday evenings doing routine things, and his hobby of playing guitar wasn't getting him anywhere...
...UNTIL he went to do something proactive about it. He found someone into the right kind of music online to practice and compose and possibly now form a band with - and it's given his non-working life more direction.
I think people also can get stuck into the trap of seeing getting a nice boyfriend/girlfriend as a goal. I mean, it /is/, but unless you then move rapidly into making babies (who has time for hobbies /and/ children, huh?) - even the most loving relationship won't fix boredom in life.
Only the most dull people are content with only working, pubs, and goings-out at weekends. Most people need that little bit extra to keep them from falling into the hole you feel you're falling into.
Nothing wrong with upping sticks and going travelling/getting experience - who knows, the thing that keeps you going in life may be on the other side of the planet! How would you otherwise find out?
Oh, another thing:
People don't mind if you're grumpy.
You're allowed to tell people you're having a bad day/week/month/year.
You're not a burden, often it's an honour to be 'let in' to someone's feelings.
People care about you more than you think.
People don't mind if you're grumpy.
You're allowed to tell people you're having a bad day/week/month/year.
You're not a burden, often it's an honour to be 'let in' to someone's feelings.
People care about you more than you think.
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a ******* big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of ******* fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the **** you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing ****ing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, ****** up brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
On a serious note though how about just looking at the good things, conversations with friends, time with a partner and all the little things about them you love, getting sweaty and dancing for hours in a packed club to a thumping baseline while in a chemical haze (ok not for everyone that one
)
If you have to drown out your thoughts mabey your thinking about the wrong things. Focus on something good no matter how small and build from there.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
On a serious note though how about just looking at the good things, conversations with friends, time with a partner and all the little things about them you love, getting sweaty and dancing for hours in a packed club to a thumping baseline while in a chemical haze (ok not for everyone that one
)If you have to drown out your thoughts mabey your thinking about the wrong things. Focus on something good no matter how small and build from there.
Soldato
- Joined
- 17 Jan 2006
- Posts
- 4,318
Welcome to the world of thinking beyond your immediate predicament.
I think you'd be shocked how few people actually do it, having said that, there has to be a reason so many of us drink (and people around the world drink themselves into a stupor from time to time).
Personally I find that the trick is to think beyond even the apparant ultimate conclusion of a train of thought.
For example, think about it enough, you inevitably come to the conclusion that, at the end, we all die and most probably that is all there is to our own existence. However, objectify that process and suddenly it is possible to see positive outcomes also. For example, if we work hard enough and do things that are likely to positively effect others, theres a good chance that more than our immediate friends and family will remember us in years to come for positive reasons.
Personally I find the thought of me being remembered by future students and teachers (without the chance of me messing up their probably biased opinion of me by actually being there and being a normal person!) Absolutely compelling.
We definately have a chemical response to the possibility of positive or negative outcomes. Find the positive, no matter how hard it is to find.
I think you'd be shocked how few people actually do it, having said that, there has to be a reason so many of us drink (and people around the world drink themselves into a stupor from time to time).
Personally I find that the trick is to think beyond even the apparant ultimate conclusion of a train of thought.
For example, think about it enough, you inevitably come to the conclusion that, at the end, we all die and most probably that is all there is to our own existence. However, objectify that process and suddenly it is possible to see positive outcomes also. For example, if we work hard enough and do things that are likely to positively effect others, theres a good chance that more than our immediate friends and family will remember us in years to come for positive reasons.
Personally I find the thought of me being remembered by future students and teachers (without the chance of me messing up their probably biased opinion of me by actually being there and being a normal person!) Absolutely compelling.
We definately have a chemical response to the possibility of positive or negative outcomes. Find the positive, no matter how hard it is to find.
Then why are you behaving like a female on her menstrual cycle? Emo is not only about the way you look, but about lack of comprehension of surroundings and appreciation of reality.
If you think that you are unhappy because you are too smart, then I would suggest you be careful, because the fall from the high horse is going to hurt like hell.
Stop seeking questions to things you cannot answer and enjoy the simple things in life, a meal, sex, nature. Appreciate things for what they are and not for their utility to you. In short, cope with it as others do instead of bitching about it, either in public or private.
Btw, talking about emos, if emos don't go public moaning about how miserable and pointless their life/existence is then I sure as hell have got the emo definition wrong. Reality check is long overdue for some people.