Does everyone front happiness...

I know the feeling more than I know myself these days.
And Bleeky baby! Took me a while to realise it was you. Option was the best clan ever, period.

It took me a while to realise, but throughout my childhood, I was totally miserable, it's just when you look back on it you remember the make-beleive worlds and the good stuff, but think a little harder and you arrive at a realisation that not everything was knights and dragons, even when you were a child.

You are deffinatly not alone, the idea of "putting on my happy face" when I go out kills me, but I do it anyway. I think the main barrier is society as a whole... We've gotten into a situation where its not normal for people to express their feelings, and if you do you are "emo". To go to counselling these days is looked upon as if you are a freak. People think you must be a nutter. When the reality is, you just seek more from your life and want the advice of somebody you think can help you.
 
Natima said:
It took me a while to realise, but throughout my childhood, I was totally miserable, it's just when you look back on it you remember the make-beleive worlds and the good stuff, but think a little harder and you arrive at a realisation that not everything was knights and dragons, even when you were a child.
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LOl he's feeling a little down, not trying to get back from Narnia
 
Now now Natima makes an excellent point... Children are probably the most honest & brave cratures on the planet as they're not afraid to ask any question or show everyone exactly how they're feeling... Until we teach them not too!
 
Natima said:
It took me a while to realise, but throughout my childhood, I was totally miserable, it's just when you look back on it you remember the make-beleive worlds and the good stuff, but think a little harder and you arrive at a realisation that not everything was knights and dragons, even when you were a child.
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Why do people expect everything to be "Knights and Dragons" though? Is it all the TV and Movies, media involvement that everybody thinks that their life should be something better, that they should make world changing discoveries, have money and fame etc etc rather than be happy for the little things, friends, family, health, music, achievements, partying etc.
 
If grown adults expect everything to be knights and dragons then I think I missed something.

My point was that people have a tendancy to look at their childhood as if it was the peak of the human capacity to be happy. Very rarely to people try to scratch the surface and realise that actually, while they did trip out a lot, they may not have been as happy as they remembered.

If you live your whole life thinking childhood was the equivalent to being enlightened, then sure, thats gonna put a damper on most other things. People often crave that sense of excitement again. But in reality it's much more productive trying to think about life and what it is that you desire in order to make you content.
 
Natima said:
To go to counselling these days is looked upon as if you are a freak. People think you must be a nutter. When the reality is, you just seek more from your life and want the advice of somebody you think can help you.
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Absolutely. If I have a physical issue I go to the doctor, if I have a mental issue I go see a therapist. CBT seems to be the best for me and I've been for a few courses over the years. I don't have all the tools necessary to deal with everything life throws at me, physical and mental so I talk to people who I think can help me and that sometimes means talking to a professional with an unbiased approach.

A lot of people seem to feel that it is a sign of weakness if they or others are unable to cope with something on a mental level. We're made to feel as though we have to have the stiff upper lip attitude and forge ahead with everything whereas in reality it's usually the opposite. The stigma attached with counselling and therapy is undeserved and the misconception that it is all about head shrinking is way off the mark.
 
Being alone sucks, I think it's one of the main reasons I am so unhappy.

Not many people really know what it's like to have no one they can talk to, no one they can "open up" to, especialy when you get to a point when you are too paranoid to even open up to your family, opening up to a complete stranger is equally as difficult and you've already made it nearly impossible to get to know people because your so used to the idea of not having anyone that you eitehr don't notice oppotunities to get involved with others or you simply don't want to or don't think you could deal with it.

I've spent the past 2 years like this, 2 years spent pretty much alone, oh I've had the occasional fling with a girl I've met but it never goes anywhere, I go climbing with people occasionly but never really get to know them even if I try and they never make an effort to get to know me. I still live at home (though moving out next year) and I work with people who are all in their late twenties so it is very difficult to really be a part of anything social, I try but again, nothing ever really comes of it.

However, I am trying to move on, I'm changing jobs and looking for something that is more appropriate for someone my age, finding somewhere else to live where I have more contact with other people and then try and figure out what I want to do with my life.

It's just very difficult to really have any motivation, its just gotten to a point where I can't be arsed with not being arsed to do anything.



Bloody hell this thread is depressing isn't it, heres a picture of a red panda to lighten everyones mood.

104f6ah.jpg


Permission to say d'awwwwwwwwww!
 
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Natima said:
To go to counselling these days is looked upon as if you are a freak. People think you must be a nutter.
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You think that's still true ? 1 in 4 British adults experience at least one diagnosable mental health problem in any one year. My wife works in that area. I don't think people have that train of thought these days tbh.
 
I don't know why, but I am a VERY positive person.

I was very introverted as a young child, and bullied in primary school, but once in high school, and after my older brother started taking me clubbing with him from 15, things changed.

I am confident and happy, and also a bit lucky I guess, but I think you inadvertently make your own luck by being positive.

I don't sweat the petty things, don't let them get to me, and as such am pretty easily contented. Happy to be on my own or in social situations.

I dislike negative emotions, and consider them a waste, given the short amount of time we have alive.

I never worry about things, which is both a blessing and a curse, but am cautious enough to not bury my head in the sand over things that are important.

I guess I'm just lucky. *shrug*
 
I know a guy who often self proclaims to be super clever, he also claims to be depressive. "Im so intelligent, but I'm so down" and goes on as if he too good for this world. It just sounds self-absorbent to me.

Seeing people living in some of the conditions they do in other places of the world I think very few people in the UK have much generally to complain or be unhappy about (unless you or loved ones were terminal or something tragic like that). To point out the obvious this means it's all in peoples heads and telling yourself you're happy is the same as what you are doing right now telling yourself you're unhappy.

Either way it's just the same and none of it really matters, live (or don't) then die.
 
Fenris said:
Being alone sucks, I think it's one of the main reasons I am so unhappy.

Not many people really know what it's like to have no one they can talk to, no one they can "open up" to, especialy when you get to a point when you are too paranoid to even open up to your family, opening up to a complete stranger is equally as difficult and you've already made it nearly impossible to get to know people because your so used to the idea of not having anyone that you eitehr don't notice oppotunities to get involved with others or you simply don't want to or don't think you could deal with it.

I've spent the past 2 years like this, 2 years spent pretty much alone, oh I've had the occasional fling with a girl I've met but it never goes anywhere, I go climbing with people occasionly but never really get to know them even if I try and they never make an effort to get to know me. I still live at home (though moving out next year) and I work with people who are all in their late twenties so it is very difficult to really be a part of anything social, I try but again, nothing ever really comes of it.

However, I am trying to move on, I'm changing jobs and looking for something that is more appropriate for someone my age, finding somewhere else to live where I have more contact with other people and then try and figure out what I want to do with my life.

It's just very difficult to really have any motivation, its just gotten to a point where I can't be arsed with not being arsed to do anything.



Bloody hell this thread is depressing isn't it, heres a picture of a red panda to lighten everyones mood.

104f6ah.jpg
Click to expand...

Your panda looks depressed :/

;)
 
Yah everyone pretends to be super happy on the outside but im pretty sure we all have our doubts and fears stashed away on the inside. Just some people are worse at hiding them.

The people that are super 100% happy are mind numbingly idiotic most of the time tho :O

Read any of the previous posts where people complain about problems in their life... So far ive laughed at everyone - most seem so trivial on reflection.
 
Chimerical said:
Don't understand all the hangups about being alone. :/
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I think it's doable if you have close friends/family, as human being desire intimate connections with others, be it platonic or otherwise.

Having no-one in your life that is close to you, that you have 'those' sorts of conversations with, that can be a sounding board or offer a shoulder to cry on, can indeed be rather bleak.
 
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