Am sorry to hear of the problems you are having...
If you want impartial benefits advice relating to carer's allowance it may well be worth speaking to your nearest CarersUK office...
http://www.carersuk.org/Home
I know in my area they are very pro-active in helping to nudge along the system, and in the office I deal with (I work for the job centre) their welfare rights/benefit advisor is absolutely great - really useful and detailed knowledge of dealing with 'the system' and various benefits, and can actively get involved in helping you or acting as an advocate for you make a claim.
Part of the problem with dealing with DWP is that staff (myself inclided) are told that because they are involved in administering benefits, that it would a conflict of interest for them to actively help somebody with their application. Processing it is fine, but not telling them how to answer a particular question (and some of them are really quite complex to get your head around if you don't know the system). Due to this claims can take longer to process as we are forced to ask for extra information time and time again.
The CAB may be worth a shot although their benefits knowledge is not so good - carers allowance in particular being a less common and more complicated benefit than JSA or ESA.
The disability benefits line (0800 88 22 00) may be of some use as well if you have specific questions about entitlement and how different benefits can sit side by side.