OK, when is it officially called 'cheating'?

Sone · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:34

i would say 9. I hold hands with (close) female friends all time. As long as we both know the boundrys i don't see a problem

h00fzilla · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:34

So, you got to #8?

Edit: incidentally #4 is when the line is being crossed!

moawan · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:35

Kristoph said:
If you cared about your relationship you'd of probably seen it coming at point 4/5/6 and then prevented the rest from happening.

+1

Defo Number 4

Nitefly · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:35

Sone said:
i would say 9. I hold hands with (close) female friends all time. As long as we both know the boundary's i don't see a problem

So if I told your current partner that you are happy to go to number 9, you think that she'd be OK with that?

If there is no partner involved, friends can sleep with each other and laugh it off, so anything goes.

00bob00 · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:35

arknor said:
#4
why would you be holding hands with a friend? if your already in a relationship.

holding hands with a member of the oposite sex on a night out is pretty much you tellinjg everyone your an item

i don't think that's necessarily true, i used to hold my housemates hands to prop them up on boozy nights out - my girlfriend didn't mind, she used to hold the other ones hand (i used to live with two girls)

Participant · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:35

For me 'cheating' taken literally is sex, oral sex, masturbation etc i.e. if someone said 'I cheated on my wife' I'd assume it meant that he had done the wild thing with another woman.

Anything physical but less than that is just a big no no but not cheating imo. However if I got to #4 I'd understand if my wife considered it unacceptable.

People saying he's obviously not happily married - I'm not sure about that. Biologically human males are programmed to have urges to spread their seeds in more directions than just one!

Clum · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:35

I dont think cheating is about any "acts" that you can list on a forum. To me it's about how you feel about what you're doing. Were you enjoying any of it? (more than just physically).

I would feel far worse about a girlfriend actually "liking" someone else than I would if she just had a wee kiss when she was plastered or something.

Fenris · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:35

4 is where you should have told her to nicely that you're married and made sure it was just a friendly gesture, 6 is where you tell her firmly, 7-8 is where you tell her to **** off.

Though I wouldn't call anything before 9 "cheating", messing around and being a moron...maybe.

DB_SamX · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:37

I'd say you went up to 8/9 when 4 would have been the limit.

Freefaller · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:39

Fenris said:
4 is where you should have told her to nicely that you're married and made sure it was just a friendly gesture, 6 is where you tell her firmly, 7-8 is where you tell her to **** off.

Though I wouldn't call anything before 9 "cheating", messing around and being a moron...maybe.

Agreed.

It may not be "cheating" however it's wholly inappropriate.

Prophet · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:39

No.4

However, it's boardering on cheating as soon as you think 'hang on is this cheating' as you've already started to think of your 'friend' as something more.

Mr^B · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:39

4. definitely 4.

3 - I'd take as simply being friendly, she might be getting dressed up for someone else, or she might want something (other than sex) from you and so is massaging your ego.

semi-pro waster · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:40

h00fzilla said:
So, you got to #8?

I'd guess he got to #9 or #10 as that's the point where it stops being detailed but it doesn't matter too much and he's under no obligation to say whatsoever.

However #4 or #5 is where I'd draw the line with my hypothetical partner, if not in a relationship then it's not an issue.

Fuzz · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:40

You fail if you did 4

LordSplodge · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:41

Robbie G said:
For me 'cheating' taken literally is sex, oral sex, masturbation etc i.e. if someone said 'I cheated on my wife' I'd assume it meant that he had done the wild thing with another woman.

Cheating isn't just about sexual acts...

nero120 · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:41

Nitefly said:
So if I told your current partner that you are happy to go to number 9, you think that she'd be OK with that?

Taking that literally, if most people's girlfriends knew how much they masturbated, they would be hurt and horrified! Does that mean masturbating is cheating? What about masturbating and not thinking of your girlfriend?

IMO, this whole area is one big minefield!

Participant · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:42

LordSplodge said:
Cheating isn't just about sexual acts...

For me, that's what I accept the word to mean, hence me saying 'for me'.

nero120 said:
Taking that literally, if most people's girlfriends knew how much they masturbated, they would be hurt and horrified! Does that mean masturbating is cheating? What about masturbating and not thinking of your girlfriend?

IMO, this whole area is one big minefield!

I know you didn't quote me, but just for the avoidance of doubt, I didn't mean that self-masturbation was cheating lmao.

Deyvy · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:42

Sone said:
i would say 9. I hold hands with (close) female friends all time. As long as we both know the boundrys i don't see a problem

Not saying your wrong mate, but sometimes its not just about you. If your partner is ok about then maybe its ok. Maybe you've set those boundaries, but for a lot of people holding hands are past the just friend boundary.

LordSplodge · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:44

nero120 said:
Does that mean masturbating is cheating? What about masturbating and not thinking of your girlfriend?

Having somebody other than your current partner masterbate you. Aka a hand job.

Hell if thinking of somebody else when masterbating is cheating I'd have cheated with Phillipa Forrester, Lisa Rogers and Harry Hill! Ok maybe not Harry Hill but you get the point.

Nitefly · 23 Dec 2009 at 16:45

nero120 said:
Taking that literally, if most people's girlfriends knew how much they masturbated, they would be hurt and horrified! Does that mean masturbating is cheating? What about masturbating and not thinking of your girlfriend?

IMO, this whole area is one big minefield!

Of course men think about women other than their partners sexually. There is a huge difference between thinking about an act and actually going through with it.