Child care - what did you do?

PaulStat · 6 Jan 2010 at 13:29

Sooo I'm a Dad to be this July and we're having to start looking at nursery options already (yes you have to book them in even before they're born). We've worked out that despite it costing us £900 a month for full time care, it's better for us in the long run for the Mrs to go back to full time employment once her allowed maternity period is over.

So what's your situation? Did the Mrs go back to work full time, part time or not at all? And if you're sending your kids to nurseries during work hours, how much does it cost you?

mollymoo · 6 Jan 2010 at 13:40

PaulStat said:
We've worked out that despite it costing us £900 a month for full time care, it's better for us in the long run for the Mrs to go back to full time employment once her allowed maternity period is over.

So what's your situation? Did the Mrs go back to work full time, part time or not at all? And if you're sending your kids to nurseries during work hours, how much does it cost you?

£900 is a bit steep, it should be around £650 a month for a good nursery.
Make sure you check the OFSTED rating aswell as there are some dire nurseries around. Word of mouth is sometimes a really good indicator also.

I ended up giving up work to look after ours, something we can afford to do plus I was on about changing careers anyway so it didn't matter, I also believe there is no substitute for having a parent care for your child rather than a nursery staffed by young women who at the end of the day don't give that much of a monkeys about your child IMO.

However now she is approching three she will be attending nursery in preparation for school, plus I've had enough of kids

PaulStat · 6 Jan 2010 at 13:44

£900 actually seems relatively cheap round these parts (most around my area charge about £1000/month), we've looked at the OFSTED report and it seems to favour them greatly

http://www.bufferbear.co.uk/

How many hours a day was the £650? Obviously we'd love to be around more during the day, but we simply can't afford to just have one person working

SexyBetty · 6 Jan 2010 at 13:45

See this is why I worry about having kids, nursery fees are shocking

I dont want some stranger looking after my child, whats the point in having a sprog if I am just going to palm it off on someone else?

Sorry OP, that wasnt a dig at you, just my opinion. I am still too selfish to be having kids anyway

Dracata · 6 Jan 2010 at 13:50

SexyBetty said:
See this is why I worry about having kids, nursery fees are shocking

I dont want some stranger looking after my child, whats the point in having a sprog if I am just going to palm it off on someone else?

Sorry OP, that wasnt a dig at you, just my opinion. I am still too selfish to be having kids anyway

A good ofsted nursery is actually fantastic for a childs development, socially and in many other ways - there's always going to be an argument for and against, and it does mean that you spend less time with your child, but it's not necessarily a 9-5 thing

thebandit · 6 Jan 2010 at 14:03

First off, congratulations, being a dad is the best.

Depending on your work and your family income, you should definitely try and sign up for Child care vouchers. I think the government are trying to do away with them but it's well worth doing if you can, speak to your HR at work. I use them, you can claim up to I think £243 a month from your gross salary for child care, (ie you dont pay tax on that £243) depending on what tax you pay it'll save you up to £100 a month in tax. The nursery we use is £65 a day (including 2 meals) so £900 seems good to me.

I agree with what others say, the OFSTED reports are a very good starting point, but you must visit any potential nursery and grill them on everything you can think of, like discipline, education, staff vetting, etc, my boy has a fish allergy and we needed to make sure there was a system in place that would mean he never got given fish to eat.
I think its well worth choosing a nursery that gets good education marks, little ones are like sponges, they pick it all up and far better they learn something than just get plonked in front of a TV all day.
My misses only works a couple of days a week and we utilise the grandparents to help out as much as we can. I think its a nice balance, a bit of nursery, a bit of time with mum and some time with the olds.

Lowe · 6 Jan 2010 at 14:09

My missus gave up her job, then started an internet business. She's able to juggle looking after nipper and also bring in a wage from the business.

Awesome wife.

PaulStat · 6 Jan 2010 at 14:12

thebandit said:
First off, congratulations, being a dad is the best.

Depending on your work and your family income, you should definitely try and sign up for Child care vouchers. I think the government are trying to do away with them but it's well worth doing if you can, speak to your HR at work. I use them, you can claim up to I think £243 a month from your gross salary for child care, (ie you dont pay tax on that £243) depending on what tax you pay it'll save you up to £100 a month in tax. The nursery we use is £65 a day (including 2 meals) so £900 seems good to me.

I agree with what others say, the OFSTED reports are a very good starting point, but you must visit any potential nursery and grill them on everything you can think of, like discipline, education, staff vetting, etc, my boy has a fish allergy and we needed to make sure there was a system in place that would mean he never got given fish to eat.
I think its well worth choosing a nursery that gets good education marks, little ones are like sponges, they pick it all up and far better they learn something than just get plonked in front of a TV all day.
My misses only works a couple of days a week and we utilise the grandparents to help out as much as we can. I think its a nice balance, a bit of nursery, a bit of time with mum and some time with the olds.

Thanks for that, I'm aware of the "vouchers" couple of my work colleagues have already made use of them.

It would be nice if we could make use of "the olds" as you put it

, but they all work full time too.

Indie · 6 Jan 2010 at 14:21

Lowe said:
My missus gave up her job, then started an internet business. She's able to juggle looking after nipper and also bring in a wage from the business.

Awesome wife.

how much was said wife? need me one of these!!

mollymoo · 6 Jan 2010 at 14:22

PaulStat said:
£900 actually seems relatively cheap round these parts (most around my area charge about £1000/month), we've looked at the OFSTED report and it seems to favour them greatly

http://www.bufferbear.co.uk/

How many hours a day was the £650? Obviously we'd love to be around more during the day, but we simply can't afford to just have one person working

Full time, 7:30 - 6:00, didn't realise prices varied so wildly

mollymoo · 6 Jan 2010 at 14:27

thebandit said:
I think its well worth choosing a nursery that gets good education marks, little ones are like sponges, they pick it all up and far better they learn something than just get plonked in front of a TV all day.

Or you could involve your kids in the same activities at home plus take them for a walk everyday. Not everyone plonks their kids in front of the tv you know.

Vonhelmet · 6 Jan 2010 at 14:59

First up, look into tax credits to cover childcare costs.

Secondly, £900 is outrageous. Just how "full time" is that?

Thirdly, time spent with your children is much more important than money earnt from a job.

My wife only went back to work when our first daughter was about 15 months old, and will be off with our second daughter for about the same length of time. Money is tight, but at least we have some input into our children's lives, which is enormously important.

PaulStat · 6 Jan 2010 at 15:11

There's "tight" and there's not able to save at all. My wife will be able to take the standard 9 months and then it'll probably be back to work full time (8 hours). We couldn't afford to have just one person earning for 6 months like you did.

We do want to be able to move out of our flat into a house by the time the baby is 18 months old.

Got a few more decisions to make, obviously we do want to be able to save something towards the future.

knip · 6 Jan 2010 at 16:20

Please don't take this as a pop at you because its honestly not, but did you not think about things like this before you decided to have a baby. As in was it not taken into consideration how financially tight things would be?

Look into family tax credits as already stated, plus you can get other help with nursery places. How about a childminder, would that not be cheaper?

PaulStat · 6 Jan 2010 at 16:27

Of course we did, we're of the opinion that if we were to wait until we could "afford" it then it would never happen.

Besides we can afford it (can still do all this AND save about £400 a month between us), it's just certain sacrifices need to be made, I'd love for my wife to be an at home mum but it is just not possible.

The way I look at it is there are far more people worse off than us with kids, if they can do it we can.

Again we knew how tight things would be, but money is still important. Geesh

big_white_dog84 · 6 Jan 2010 at 16:43

PaulStat said:
Of course we did, we're of the opinion that if we were to wait until we could "afford" it then it would never happen.

My opinion exactly.

Unfortunately the only people who seem to be able to really afford to have kids are the very people who should be banned from having them!

Alrik · 6 Jan 2010 at 16:53

Thought about a childminder? You would probably pay half of what you would by sticking them in nursery and they would get more 1 on 1 interaction as well as interaction with other kids. Where as a nursery you will have anywhere from 20-30 kids to 2 or 3 nursery staff. A childminder would probably cost something like £350-£450 a month depending on what they charge an hour and how many hours/days they have the child for, it's worth looking into anyway.

Just as an example my mum charges £3.00 an hour and lets say we have the child from 9:00am-5:00pm that works out at £24 a day, £120 a week, £480 a month.

OFSTED reports don't always mean everything, since almost everyone (childminders and nurserys) just show them what they want to see anyway just to get rid of them and then they won't see them for another 2-3 years, OFSTED only do a follow up if you got an unsatisfactory grade and even that follow up is 1 year later (This is for childminders so it could be different for a nursery).

SiriusB · 6 Jan 2010 at 16:53

SexyBetty said:
See this is why I worry about having kids, nursery fees are shocking

I dont want some stranger looking after my child, whats the point in having a sprog if I am just going to palm it off on someone else?

Sorry OP, that wasnt a dig at you, just my opinion. I am still too selfish to be having kids anyway

For many families work isn't optional. If you want to provide for your children both parents generally need to work - especially in this current climate. Besides, a child will be in school for 6-7 hours a day from age 5 to a minimum of 16. How is starting out in a Nursery any different? You still get all evening with your children plus the weekends.

Childminders are an alternative, and they are covered by OFSTED. Childminders are generally cheaper too - my Mother is one!

Having said that, apparantly there is a huge shortage of childminders so you might not find one anyway even if you wanted to go that route.

meths · 6 Jan 2010 at 17:22

My wife is going back to work in a few weeks and was dropping a day at work and her mum was also gonna drop a day as she's winding down for retirement. My mum doesn't work so during the week my daughter was gonna be with:
-My mum for 3 days
-Wife's mum for 1 day
-Wife for 1 day.

Unfortunatley my mum is now gonna have to get a new knee so will have an absolute minimum of 3 months recovery time so my wiife and her mum are now gonna drop 2 days of work each and I'm going on to a compressed working week where I'll work my full time hours over 4 days.

Quite looking forward to it now actually.

mollymoo · 6 Jan 2010 at 17:32

SiriusB said:
Besides, a child will be in school for 6-7 hours a day from age 5 to a minimum of 16. How is starting out in a Nursery any different? You still get all evening with your children plus the weekends.

Because they are younger and its important to spend that time between o -3 years creating a good bond with your kids. I personally don't think that putting a child in nursery between 0-2 years is of any benefit, if anything a detrement.
At 2 years they start to absorb a huge amount of knowledge so if you have no inclination to teach your child anyhting at home then maybe at that point nursery is the way forward. At 4-5 a child is more emotionally set-up to deal with the learning environment and this is why it is different.