My girlfriend doesn't like it when I talk to her friends?!

Belloni

Belloni

Belloni

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Joined
17 Feb 2009
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How am I meant to get along with her mates if she doesn't like me talking to them?! I was having a general conversation with her mate this morning on facebook about stupid joky stuff, like she wanted to finish off her alien story to me. I was on the phone to her, (my girl friend) and I said the girl I was talking to she says hi to you, she replies why are you talking to her?! I said she wanted to finish an alien story! She goes how would you like it if I talked to your friends to which I replies I wouldn't care as it's not like I'm flirting with her mates! Just trying to make friends, as I thought girls liked it when you can get on with their best mates!

Is this just a defense mechanism of hers? Insecure I guess maybe?
 
Insecure/Jealousy me thinks - I took the missus to Disney Land Paris last weekend and a couple of her friends help me plan it so she didn't find out (like not organising to go out with her, making sure she had a valid passport) - so when we was there I picked up a couple of cheap Disney teddies/gifts to say thank you and she got really angry I was buying gifts for them... I just told her to hush up and got on with it :D
 
Yeah I guess, I'm trying to make her see it from my point of view, even her mate was like WTF! She even apologised to me which made me feel bad. She knows I loves her. I talked to her mates asking for my girlfriends address since I forgot and I wanted to be cheesy and send her a rose in the post since he had a bad week of work. I guess you can't win sometimes!
 
It's all good, just explain the background a bit and tell her that the only reason you make an effort is essentially for her.
 
How am I mean to get on with her friends though, I swear a key part of a relationship is the fact you get on with her mates?! Or am I mistaken? :o
 
No youre right..but some girls have a different perpective on what getting on with their friends means... e.g. some mean just when you're all out together. Perhaps she's not comfortable with the fact that you talk to them when she's not around.
 
Belloni said:
How am I mean to get on with her friends though, I swear a key part of a relationship is the fact you get on with her mates?! Or am I mistaken? :o
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Not necessarily. While many relationships are benefitted by that, there are plenty of healthy relationships where there is little or no interaction with the other partner's friends.

It's obvious she's a little insecure, maybe it'll take her some getting used to? Maybe she's been hurt before by someone cheating on her with a friend? Or something along those lines? Or seen it happen? Either way, no, you didn't do anything wrong - but you do love her, as you've said, so it would be wise to be aware from now on how your interaction with her friends affects her. Toning it down, or continuing on in accordance with that. You don't want to push her away because you wouldn't take a step back for a bit, y'know?
 
I got a bollocking for asking if my mates new gf was hot in a bbim convo i forgot she was in... oops! It's just the insecurity thing man, they don't get it! Womens is crazy!!!
 
Reginald said:
No youre right..but some girls have a different perpective on what getting on with their friends means... e.g. some mean just when you're all out together. Perhaps she's not comfortable with the fact that you talk to them when she's not around.
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Yeah I was thinking this, maybe I'll just get on with them when out and about with them but cut contact outside, if it means she's happier this will do. I just found it very odd and didn't know how to react when I could tell she got moody on the phone, this made me moody then she was like don't get moody! I said I'm bound to because you pretty much just had a dig at me. But meh, women! Dinner and music concert at wembley will soon cheer her up!
 
Sounds a bit insecure to me... usually I thought it's always better to get along with her best mates as well as her...
 
So you was trying to have a conversation with your GF while trying to chat on facebook as well.

Your GF is right to have a go at you.
If your GF calls you, you should stop what ever you are doing and listen to all she says and respond kindly.

No wonder we get posts like spec my gf this that and another. KIDS pfff
 
deuse said:
So you was trying to have a conversation with your GF while trying to chat on facebook as well.

Your GF is right to have a go at you.
If your GF calls you, you should stop what ever you are doing and listen to all she says and respond kindly.

No wonder we get posts like spec my gf this that and another. KIDS pfff
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No lol i had it before, and she called and then her mate replied on facebook saying, say hello to her.

****s sake, just got a BBPin from her saying the following "i dunno why you told her what i told you, this is why i dont like boyfriends and friends mixing coz then you dont know who to trust", i was like wtf, i had to give your friend a reason as to why im cutting off communication with her! Then she said "But why would you say that., im kinda upset now because i trusted you".

Jesus christ!
 
This is one of the reasons why I don't use Facebook, it has a lot to answer for :mad:

I think it's just insecurity rearing it's ugly head. I love it when my bf gets on with my friends as they're important to me and wouldn't want them to hate each other. Which is why I make an effort with his friends.
 
Once you are in the insecure situation it is hard to get out of it, I have been there before, it only gets worse, they are hiding something if they do not trust you to do so, could be for many reasons, but the main ones are.. that they think you are flirting, that they are ashamed of you in some ways.. so they don't want your friends to know what you are really like, they are scared that others will like you and you will find someone better, they are cheating or have done.. meaning that they get paranoid about you doing the same thing to them, they simply don't want their friends to know the side of them that you know, they don't want their friends to know certain things they tell you.. meant to be secretive. they just don't tell you it is meant to be..(like mentioned, but doesn't really sound like the cause), I can't really think of any others.. have a think about it.
 
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