Nursery Rhymes

gillywibble

gillywibble

gillywibble

Caporegime
Joined
28 Jun 2007
Posts
52,812
Location
Tamworth, UK
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring
No doubt, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too, he's funny that way.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Jill , the dill,
Forgot her pill,
And now they have a son.
 
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her
'twas Little Boy Blue with a horn.


Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pieman
"What have u got there?"
Said the pieman unto Simon
Pies you ********.
 
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own
 
jack and jill went up a hill
to fetch a roll of cheese
jack came down with a beaming smile
and his trousers round his knees

mary had a little pig
she could not stop it grunting
she took it up the garden path
and kicked its little **** in
 
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes said:
Little Willie, from the mirror
Licked the mercury all off;
Thinking, in his childish error
It would cure the whooping cough.
At the funeral Willie's mother
Said to Mrs. Brown,
"'Twas a chilly day for Willie
When the mercury went down."
Click to expand...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Graham_(poet)

edit: and this gem

Willie, in a rage insane
Threw his head beneath a train
All were quite surprised to find
How it broadened Willie's mind.
Click to expand...
 
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water,
Jill came down with half a crown
and it wasn't for carrying water.


There was an old man from Brent
whose knob was unusually bent
so to save him some trouble
he put it in double
and instead of coming he went.
 
Little Peter Rabbit got a fly upon his nose...
Little Peter Rabbit got a fly upon his nose...
Little Peter Rabbit got a fly upon his nose...
And he flipped it and he flopped it and the fly flew away...
Floppy ears and curly whiskers..
Floppy ears and curly whiskers..
Floppy ears and curly whiskers..
And he flipped it and he flopped it and the fly flew away!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom