A marginally better than average Friday joke....

I got out of the shower and my wife said, "Ooo look, it's like a penis ... only smaller".

I said, "Ooo look, it's like my secretary ... only fatter and less flexible".
 
Did you hear about the guy who chopped the roof off his 4x4??

Police are looking for a man with a sawn-off Shogun! :p
 
ahahahaha it's funny because you think he is going to be upset his wife left him but isn't, he is only annoyed he has had to use powdered milk.


truly rib tickling!
 
simulatorman you just caused me to burst out laughing in the middle of the office during my lunch. Luckily i wasn't eating at the time or things would have got messy.
 
Seriously worried about my birthday in a few years time.

Apparently at 40 there's an 80% chance I'll kill a child.



How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?

It's not that dark.
 
simulatorman said:
A German approaches a prostitute and says, "I vish to buy sex vit you."

"OK" says the girl, "I'll charge 60 euro an hour."

"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."

"No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky." So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs."
The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her elbows and knees. "Now you vill get on your hans und knees." She duly does this, balancing on the springs.

"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you." She find this odd, but it's harmless, and after all the guy is paying well. The sex is fantastic.

She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say:

"That was totally amazing, where did you learn how to do that?"

"Ah," says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique"
Click to expand...

Best joke evar!!!111!!!:D:D

Baz said:
I got out of the shower and my wife said, "Ooo look, it's like a penis ... only smaller".

I said, "Ooo look, it's like my secretary ... only fatter and less flexible".
Click to expand...

Made me laugh as well:p.
 
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