Student stories

Jonny69

Jonny69

Jonny69

Man of Honour
Man of Honour
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It's been a few years now since I was a student first time around but I remember there were a few stories of student legend going round. I thought I might share them to see what the old greats were at your universities :D

The first one I ever heard was of a Scottish student who was at I think Cambridge because that's where I was when I heard the story. He had taken ill, ended up in hospital and they had diagnosed severe malnutrition. He couldn't cook but knew how to make porridge and knew that it was nutritious so at the beginning of the year stocked up on porridge oats. He lined the drawers in his room with greaseproof paper, poured the cooked porridge into them and every mealtime would cut a chunk out and re-heat it for his meal. Naturally it wasn't long before he was lacking vitamins and became ill.

At my own university there was a different story but again based on food. There had been a buy-one-get-one-free offer in the supermarket on pasta and pesto at the beginning of the year. One thrifty student had decided to buy his whole semester's worth of food at half price and loaded up on pasta and pesto on offer, and that's all he ate. It wasn't long before he ended up in hospital, not with malnutrition, but such bad constipation he was blocked solid. This was our warning about diet I guess :p

I have no idea if those two were true or whether they were just a yarn that became student legend, but the one that "actually happened" at my campus was the most grim...

The final year students had their own halls at the Brunel Runnymede campus. Up at the top of the halls there was a belfry and a student room but it was always locked as it was not occupied. According to legend a student had been driven mad by the bells ringing and hanged himself. After that it remained unoccupied and the room was permanently locked :eek:

Again, no idea if that's true or not, it was just the rumour that went round. What are your stories? Stories about schools welcome too :)
 
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I don't have anything to share, other than I think that this thread has serious potential :D
 
I don't know - the time that I tried some 'legal highs' stimulant drugs to help me write my dissertation were interesting. BZP I think it was, now illegal. At the time I ended up round a mates hallucaniting that my credit cards had a personality and were judging me for not using them enough.........

Or the time that in a flat building with communal parking there was a guy with a Porsche Boxter and when I parked my car next to it he put a note on my windscreen asking me not to park next to it as he didn't want an old car next to it????? So next day my flatmate and I drove to Glasgow and bought a 1994 Astra for £60 which was rusted to HELL and stuck it next to his.
 
I meant like student legend/rumour "true story :eek:" stories. Otherwise I'd have told you about setting fire to the grass or the time my trouser legs ended up on top of the workshop block but I was somehow still wearing the top bit :p
 
Hmm, I had a couple of litres of Ozuo:D, that me and my friend decided to drink one night (miss those uni days).

Anycase we managed to get through the lot, about a litre each. WOW.:cool:

At first we were stood under the lights in the common room, disco dancing to Steps.
Then I was hanging out of the bedroom window throwing up over passer's by. Whilst my friend was been force feed charcol at the local A&E.

Next morning we both got drafted to clean the vomit, and blood. Cant remember who's blood it was though.:rolleyes:
 
Only one I can think of for my uni is that during a lab session 'a few years ago' one of the lecturers got annoyed with a student so threw a chair across the room at him.

Nothing interesting happens in Bournemouth. :( :p

I think most people are missing Jonny's point about legends etc.
 
In which case I won't mention the time we were shot at by the German navy, or the time we almost run over a Nuclear Sub, or when a guy ripped his mouth in half on a dry ski slope (still cringe at that :(... :p

I don't really know any student legends from my uni, or at least can't think of any.
 
I heard a similar tale of the malnutrition stories except the diet consisted of Pot Noodles only, and that this guy attended university in Manchester. I think it's something resurfaces every few years as new foods appear.
 
Not really a story from Uni, but one of the dorms used to be a mental hospital. There were stories of it being haunted etc by screaming ghosts.. Didnt witness it though.

My secondary school was a hospital during ww2, again suposedly haunted
 
When I was at uni this guy got really drunk and took a loaf of bread to bed with him to eat and soak up the alcohol, when he woke up the next day there was a penis shaped hole through the loaf...
 
Moving into my flat, where only a girl was living there. I had to go home for the weekend, came back on the Monday, went to lay the cable and there was a huge arse stain on the porcelain. She's fit too, must have some incredible sharts though lmao
 
Oh yeah, somebody left crabs on a toilet seat in our male only halls block. We suspect it was the same gay bloke who sleptwalked naked into my room. :(

Only just remembered that one.
 
You can have this one...

So a girl from our halls in first year, whose dad owns a fairly famous company... Well it turns out her ex boyfriend took some naughty snaps on her phone of her posing in quite a few explicit positions. Unfortunately, while she was away in another country, her phone was stolen... and said pictures turned up on one of those 'OMG my ex has genitals!' websites.

Not long after this, they were found by some guys in my year, who were kind enough to send a Facebook message round to pretty much everyone... at our whole university. Her pictures became pretty infamous, and even turned up on the library computers as screensavers...

AAAAANYWAY.... This girl gets back from the USA... Finds out what has happened... and avoids campus for the rest of her final year. Her dad threatened to sue the porn site.
 
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gv_of_e said:
Not really a story from Uni, but one of the dorms used to be a mental hospital. There were stories of it being haunted etc by screaming ghosts.. Didnt witness it though.

My secondary school was a hospital during ww2, again suposedly haunted
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Our uni building was built on top of a communal air raid shelter that sustained a direct hit by a bomb during WW2. Apparently 70 people were never found. The tunnels that survived are still accessable if you have the key (Fitzroy building at Plymouth Uni for those interested).

Jonny69 said:
Er, no, I think you'd better tell us about those now :D
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Meh, they're not as interesting as I made them out to be. :p

Fired upon:

In my first year I joined the sail and powerboat club whose first social was the yearly Booze cruise up past Devonport Docks. By the time we got round to them on the boat most people were already drunk and the Commadore of the club had comandeered the megaphone and was shouting random things through it. We went past a German transport ship moored at the base and the commadore noticed, que a load of anti german shouts (some in german) from both her and a couple of others through the megaphone. That all stopped when a burst of machine gun fire came from the ship.... :eek: To this day we're not sure if they were blanks or where they were aimed at but it certainly quietened the whole boat (about 100 people) for a few minutes. Needless to say when we turned round and headed back we made sure we were quiet as we went back past the ship.:D:p

Second one:

We were on a "night nav" exercise (or pratting around in the dark, with the sail and powerboat club again) in a couple of RIBs. Blatting round the sound we went, seperating every so often, having a right old time. After a bit we met up with the other boat who promptly asked us why we were blatting at full speed around the sub. "What sub?" we went in unison. Turns out we'd been playing around right next to a nuclear sub moored on one of the bouys. Apparently we got as close as about 10m at one point.:o:p

(Background: The sound for those that don't know Plymouth is a large bit of sheltered water surrounded by land on 3 sides and a breakwater on the other, it's also where loads of military ships and occasionally subs moor. On a dark night a black low profile sub is a bit difficult to see apparently...:o)

Third one:

Anyone who has been in a snowsports club at uni will probably heard of BUDS (British University Dry Slope Championship), which was/is held on a Dry ski slope in Edinburgh and consists of a couple of races down the slope and lots of drinking. Well, a member of our club spent a bit too long doing the latter on the last day, before entering the freestyle (ski jumps/tricks) comp, he could hardly stand straight let alone ski but he went down anyway. Apparently he took off quite well, but then ended up in a giant heap on the floor, with blood all round his mouth, compounded when one side of his bottom lip (from corner of his mouth to just above the chin) flopped away, spilling even more blood everywhere... This I didn't see, however I did see the aftermath, and still have a photo somewhere. He had literally ripped a two inch long gash from the corner of his mouth to almost his chin on the Dendex (ski slope material) which had held just long enough for it to fill his mouth up with blood before giving way.:eek::( The photo is quite impressive in a very gory way.:p

(He made a full recovery last time I heard so all's well, and he was drunk enough not to feel much pain when it happened!)
 
fizzle-187 said:
Anyone with any house party stories?
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One or two, but probably quite boring as they are quite common.

First one, at our house. A **** housemate of ours had a birthday party at ours. We partied with him for a couple of hours then headed off to a club and me then heading to my GF's house for the night. Got back the next morning to find the house looking like WW3 had occured and the other housemates sat in the front room waiting for the landlords to come round. Turns out he'd come back to the house after going out, with a few friends, wasted, and ripped up a load of foam and other stuff all over the floor, before playing music full blast all night before the police came. Landlords weren't best pleased with him and even less pleased with having to appologise to almost the entire street... The birthday boy had gone out at about 7 in the morning, so the landlords had to stay til he came back at about 12...

Second, I guess this could be classed as a legend, Snowriders (ski and snowboard club, see previous post for other examples) had a house party, towards 12 or so a few people thought it would be a cool idea to try and snowboard down the stairs on tea trays, needless to say you know what was going to happen. Apparently one of them broke their arm trying...:p
 
A mate of mine at Newcastle Uni had been out with his girlfriend, needless to say they'd been drinking heavily. He'd had so much that by the end of the evening he was starting to lose it; seeing things, having conversations with people that weren't there, that sort of thing. Anyway, he gets back to his girlfriend's dorm room and they crash on her bed. In the middle of the night he gets up to take a slash but only gets as far as her bedroom door where he unloads his bladder all over her carpet.
 
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