Advice or opinions wanted please folks

scorchisio

scorchisio

scorchisio

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14 Oct 2009
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Rotherham. S.Yorks
Heres a nutshell story- i have split from the gf of 7 years a few weeks ago, about a year ago i had just under 4k in a savings account, i spent the lot on doing her house up, plastering, furniture carpets tv, tv stand pc desk etc.

Now ive said id be happy to just get 2 grand back i dont care about the rest as this will pay for my bond and deposit on my flat which i found out ive got today and i can get myself a tv because shes keeping the one we paid for together.

If i was a rich man id not ask for a penny back but im a broke ass low wage earning bum. Am i being reasonable here or what would you lot do?
 
I'm not totally sure where you'd stand legally on this, I suspect it would be counted as a gift and you'd have no right to claim it back although you've presumably raised the value of the property with what you've spent so may have some claim to the amount the property has increased in worth by.

However if you've tried asking her for a share of the money then what was the response? If you've not tried asking her then why not?
 
there's nothing unreasonable about asking for some back, if you don't ask you don't get after all, just bare in mind the very act of asking for some back could well sour any "friendship" that exists between you afterwards.
 
For items you've split 50-50 like a TV then i think you can take her to a small claims court and get the money back, but you'll need proof of purchase for everything.

The first one is more tricky, you say it was her house, does she own/rent it? did you split all the rent/mortgage/bills 50-50?
 
perfectly reasonable tbh, but one thing that has unlimited value is spite, dont know the circumstances but if shes angry it'll be so much harder to get anything.
 
Been in this situation not that long ago, I wrote off close to 3k, sorry to hear you can't do the same I had to move back with parents for a bit as well.

KaHn
 
I think you will be very lucky if you get anything back. You clearly decided that you didn't want anything back at the time, but now you have broken up you want it back?

Unless she is well off and has 2k lying around I highly doubt she can afford to just give you that money either.

You might have some luck trying to get the desk etc as you paid for it, but carpets/plaster etc is a bit different.
 
Hate to sound like a douche but if you can't afford to give someone something in the long run then you shouldn't give them it at all. A gift is a gift; you help someone out and are lucky to be given something in return if you do.

If she's said that she would pay you back then it's a different story, but from what you've written it sounds like you helped her, and that doesn't negate her helping you in return, especially with large sums of money involved.

Keep your pride and move on, learn from it.
 
scorchisio said:
Heres a nutshell story- i have split from the gf of 7 years a few weeks ago, about a year ago i had just under 4k in a savings account, i spent the lot on doing her house up, plastering, furniture carpets tv, tv stand pc desk etc.

Now ive said id be happy to just get 2 grand back i dont care about the rest as this will pay for my bond and deposit on my flat which i found out ive got today and i can get myself a tv because shes keeping the one we paid for together.

If i was a rich man id not ask for a penny back but im a broke ass low wage earning bum. Am i being reasonable here or what would you lot do?
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Ask for the lot back and punch her in the teeth. God I hate cheeky women.
 
I doubt you will get anything back to be honest.
I think quite a lot of people in here will have been in a similar situation. I pretty much supported my ex and bought everything in the flat but got nothing out of it in the end. We live and learn.
 
go round with a chisle and get ya plaster back man.

What cheek if she doesnt give you any back, together for 7years you were making essentially both your house better, she kicks you out and reeps the rewards.

Hope you get your 4k back dude
 
You won't get a penny, if you expected anything in return financially you should have written out a contract.

This happens all the time, I've spent a fortune on ex-girlfriends, thousands, and I've never seen anything back. If you can't afford it, don't spend it.
 
If it were me I'd take the stuff I'd bought (that I wanted) with me when I moved out. You'll just have to write off the cost of carpets and decorating though.
 
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Dutch Guy said:
Isn't everything they bought in the time they were together owned by both and should be split equally?
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A mortgage yes, when married yes, joint accounts of course, but when dating it's not so clear cut.

I spent £1k+ on a 'Spa therapy' for an ex because she asked for it, do I have any comeback on that? No, she asked, I gave. That was one of many, many things, and of course we're no longer togeather.
 
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