any other people been in this situation?

Soldato
Joined
30 Sep 2009
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i have a good friend who is in a relationship of 4 years with a nice girl who i wouldn't class as a friend so to say but i think she is a nice person and we have a good chat when i see her with my friend on a night out. anyway, said meetings often involve my friend getting drunk and verbally abusing her (not physical - it's never been physical) but he really does say some horrible stuff, destroys the poor girl and there's not a lot i can do except tell him he's out of order but at the end of the day i figure it's not my business and if she keeps going back to him, why should i bother saying anything more than i have to her which is essentially telling her she doesn't have to put up with it and to him, telling him to stop drinking. i rarely see him now because of this and how he acts when he's drunk and their arguments but don't really know what to do about. he's 29, she's nearly 25 and i think it's quite sad but it's not really my problem ..... is it?
 
Maybe you could shoehorn your way in and smash her pasty etc?

And in answer to your question, Its not really your problem but if he's your mate it's slightly different. But you can only do so much. I guess one way or another he needs to realise he has a problem?
 
Just let him know how you feel about the situation, but don't try to tell him off. Tell him when he's sober obviously, he may not be aware of how cocky he is when drunk.
 
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Maybe you could shoehorn your way in and smash her pasty etc?

it's certainly not that kind of thing but i do feel very sorry for her (though she says 99% of the time he's lovely and he is a good friend but not so much when he has too much to drink) it was me thinking if anyone was treating my sister the same way, i'd want her to know she didn't have to put up with it, but if they keep going back to it, what more can anyone say? i just hope he changes, everytime he does he's very apologetic, says he can't remember anything, which kind of it makes it worse as its almost like a get out clause
 
Become a helpful third party, talk to her and give her any support she may need.
Maybe mediate when things get out of hand and gain her trust.
And when you are a trusted shoulder to lean on, get her drunk and smash her pasty!
 
Meh, I have a mate that has cheated on his gf loads of times, I've told him what I thought, he carried on. No idea if he still does it anymore.
 
Keep out of it tbh. You will end up with your friend wanting to beat the hell out of you and blaming you for his gf leaving him. On the flip side, The way women are.. they will break up and she will blame you for it lol.

Just walk away.
 
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