A girl problem! Sorry!

Trusty

Trusty

Trusty

Soldato
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If anyone could shed any light to this pickle of a relationship i would be very grateful!

I started seeing this girl back in november...she added me on Facebook, talked and eventually swapped numbers...we then texted each other for quite some time maybe 2 months or so, in this time i never actually asked her out...then during a night out with all our friends she pulled a guy right infront of me. I did'nt text her then for a good few months due to thinking she was getting with that lad...she then texted me out the blue...we had a date and continued to see each other for a good 3 months (end of jan to middle of april)

I had a bit of a drug problem at the time and she got quite upset about it... Our relationship eventually ended due to that, after going home for a while i got myself sorted with my drug problem and sorted myself mentally aswell. I didnt even love myself so i couldnt really ever love her. The problem i've had with her is i've never been able to express my feelings to her..she got really angry when she found out her best friend knew more about how much i felt for her than she did. I can understand this now but at the time i was in such a pickle...i did'nt know what i was feeling for her was love or lust. Several times when we've spoke it's seemed like she's waiting for me to tell her i love her, altho she has never said it to me...but she isnt the type of girl to say it first.

When i came back from home i suggested doing something together...she said no and proceeded to tell me that she didnt want to hurt herself again. After that convosation tho...there was one weekend when we all met for a boozy night...ended up back at my friends house..came to the early hours and it was just me and her left...she actually just sat there waiting for me say something to her, to tell her how i feel about her...i didnt obviously, i completley choked! After about 30 mins she ran off to her mates house! She's sent subliminal messages on Facebook which i think were about me. Posting Anthony Hamilton - Do You Feel Me? If you've ever read the lyrics to that song then its pretty clear. She's an intelligent girl, everything she does is for a reason.

The problem i have now is she just got with my best mate...i'm obviously pretty upset...they didnt spend anytime together before, its quite a sudden thing! Ive told her that she doesnt have to feel uncomfatable around me... When i questioned her about it tho...she said "Yeah..pretty random" and laughed. I really dont know what to think about the whole thing. She always replies to my texts and calls me back if i ring her...she always so soft with her voice when im speaking to her aswell. I've eventually found happiness in my life and i want her to be a part of it. Im scared that it might be too late tho!
 
You snooze you lose fella....move along and find someone else...next time make sure your more forthcoming with what you want;)
 
sometimes you just have to grow some balls and if you really do like her, then ******* tell her. sure your nervous, shy and scared, but at least if you tell her then she will know and it will be off your chest and you wont have to worry about her not knowing how you feel about her.
 
My opinion?

Walk away, there are plenty of other girls out there that you can share your happiness with.

This whole nonsense about waiting for you to say I love you and that she isnt the type to say it first...hogwash. If she felt it enough she would say it, imo the reason she doesnt want to is because she doesnt feel it but she wants to get the self boost of knowing that you do. As is all too often usual its a case of they dont, but they expect us to. So much for equality eh.

On top of that, if you actually have feelings for someone, you dont a) pull another guy in front of them and then b) pull their best mate and laugh about it.

So...ultimately, imo (and its only my opinion) she is just using you to get an ego boost, something that some women often do in my experience. At work at the moment there is a prime example. A guy I work with likes one of the girls there. She is nice to him, texts him, facebooks him etc. However, she refuses to say anything of a relationship manner etc. But...if he stops texting/facebooking her, she turns up after a few days and twists her hair around her finger, bats her eyelashes a few times and then once satisfied that she has once more got a guy "chasing" her, reverts to type. We all enjoy the esteem boost which comes from knowing that someone fancies us, some people just use that more than others.
 
Yeah...he was complete weasal about it. Thats why im scared for her aswell because he's a complete sleeze! Ive only started noticing this within the last year with him. I dont talk to him anymore really. He had the cheek to say that i treated this girl like ****, he said that she had said that to him aswell. Safe to say i went round to his, they were together at the time aswell. I drilled him for it! She told him that she had never said that to him so she cant understand why he said that.
 
zipp0r said:
sounds to me like she is waiting for him to make the first move and he just hasnt got the balls to do it.
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Yeah i didnt have the balls to do it at the time. She might be using me but she's quite a closed person with her girl mates aswell. She's not the one to tell her mates how she feels about guys and stuff apart from her one best mate. When this whole thing with my best mate kicked off i questioned whether this girl really ever like me. Her best mate told me she really did like us! Were both 23 by the way.
 
Thermaltake said:
Yeah i didnt have the balls to do it at the time. She might be using me but she's quite a closed person with her girl mates aswell. She's not the one to tell her mates how she feels about guys and stuff apart from her one best mate. When this whole thing with my best mate kicked off i questioned whether this girl really ever like me. Her best mate told me she really did like us! Were both 23 by the way.
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Well as I say, if you really like someone you dont go off with 2 other people instead. But, feel free to believe whatever makes you happiest, you know the situation better than me.

(just dont pop up with a thread in 2 months time bemoaning how its all gone wrong and what can you do to save it, as I will only post and say I told you so :D )
 
Tombstone said:
She is nice to him, texts him, facebooks him etc. However, she refuses to say anything of a relationship manner etc. But...if he stops texting/facebooking her, she turns up after a few days and twists her hair around her finger, bats her eyelashes a few times and then once satisfied that she has once more got a guy "chasing" her, reverts to type. We all enjoy the esteem boost which comes from knowing that someone fancies us, some people just use that more than others.
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She's really not like that tho...she doesnt contact me if i dont contact her. I suppose you'll say that she cant really like us then. But her telling me she doesnt want to hurt herself again makes me think she isnt going to contact me.
 
1) Pulled a bloke in front of you....
2) Then she was with you...
3) and now she with your mate..........
4) what about the blokes you didn't see

sounds like a bit a tart to me....


Look at it as you had your fun with getting your end away with her....Now move onto to the next ;)
 
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First of all well done getting off the drugs. Secondly did your mate know how you felt about felt about her or did he just think you weren’t interested so made a move?

You could end up losing a mate and someone you want to be with as well. You have to ask yourself can you stay friends with her in the picture. If you turn around now and declare your undying love even if she gets back with you I would think your mate will no longer want to know you.

You strike me as the sort of bloke that always wants what he can’t have. I have a friend like that he seems to get women then breaks up with them for whatever reason and then as soon as they seem unreachable again he’s suddenly interested.

Just ask yourself if you still want to have a best mate or her. If you do end up saying something to her you could lose any chance with her and she could tell him resulting in the end of the relationship
 
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