Sunday evening joke

Soldato
Joined
21 May 2010
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Location
Digbeth
It was the postman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the post through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, bacon, sausage, and freshly squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a fiver sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the fiver for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.

He said, 'Screw him, give him a fiver.'"

The lady smiled and said, "The breakfast was my idea."
 
Another one for you



An elderly man in Queensland had owned a large property for several years.
He had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where he had planted mango and avocado trees.

The dam had been fixed up for swimming when it was built and he also had
some picnic tables placed there In the shade of the fruit trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam to look it over,
as he hadn't been there for a while.
He grabbed a ten litre bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned,

'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make
you get out of the dam naked.'








Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.'

Moral: Old men may walk slow, but they can still think fast.
 
What is it with jokes at the weekend, can't you wait until the week to try and cheer us up. Try again tomorrow. :p
 
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