fuming at parents. what should i do?

Nodiggidy123

Nodiggidy123

Nodiggidy123

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this weekend me and my fiancee have moved in with her parents in order for us to save for our wedding next year.

my other halfs mum and dad have bend over backwards for us doing everything they can to try and help.

on the other side, my mum and dad do **** all and have done nothing to help with the move. what has annoyed me in particular is when my brother moved , my mum told me i was helping him to which i had no problem.

am i out of order for expecting a little help
 
Perhaps they knew her parents were helping and felt they didn't need to?

Did you ask them? If so and they refused then you can only be a little disappointed but not 'fuming' at them.
 
JBuk said:
Yes

It's a shame they didn't offer but you should never expect people to do anything for you
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This.


I guess it depends on your relationship with your parents - which we know nothing about. If you strive to help your folks out at every opportunity and are the mythical golden boy every parent dreams of, then I could see that you'd have a pretty good case for expecting help.
 
its not just the lack of help tbh. they hardly ever come round to visit me it was always me visiting them.

it doesnt help with my fiancee reminding me how much her parents have done and that mine have done nothing.

perhaps its just their way i suppose.
 
Just an idea why don't you mention something to them, perhaps drop a hint. Maybe they think you would both feel uncomfortable excepting help as you are both adults!
 
Nodiggidy123 said:
this weekend me and my fiancee have moved in with her parents in order for us to save for our wedding next year.

my other halfs mum and dad have bend over backwards for us doing everything they can to try and help.

on the other side, my mum and dad do **** all and have done nothing to help with the move. what has annoyed me in particular is when my brother moved , my mum told me i was helping him to which i had no problem.

am i out of order for expecting a little help
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Where did your brother move to? Was it into his own place?

Maybe it's because you are moving into her parents house they may feel they are interfering - not only with you two, but also her parents. If you need help from them, ask.

I'm sure they have done plenty for you in the xx years to date, yes?
 
Nodiggidy123 said:
its not just the lack of help tbh. they hardly ever come round to visit me it was always me visiting them.

it doesnt help with my fiancee reminding me how much her parents have done and that mine have done nothing.

perhaps its just their way i suppose.
Click to expand...

Perhaps start communicating as an adult to your folks. Tell them you feeling slightly left out. Do not let things like this fester - particularly if your fianacee is commenting (which she should not be doing really) on the relationship. All relationships are hard work, and if you do not communicate properly then they are going to be doubly so. Your relationship with your folks has changed, and they possibly now are starting to see you not as their dependant son, but as an adult.
 
What can you do? If my other half and I get married, we both know her parents will contribute a nice amount (we won't have a wedding just a **** off 2 month honey moon :p), and mine won't provide any, we'll be surprised if they turn up.

That's life I'm afraid. Don't let it bother you, the most important thing is to enjoy your marriage.
 
do nothing mate, just say nothing and carry on
you dont want to move into a new house with bad family atmosphere !
better just left alone
 
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