That's because constant draws like the fridge and boiler are split, whilst your individual usage stays the same.
Can you afford to live!
- Thread starter Stev
- Start date
That's because constant draws like the fridge and boiler are split, whilst your individual usage stays the same.
It's why its called a partnership as well as a relationship.
My wife and I share everything, 15 years married and yet to argue over finances (or anything really).
Yeah, my wife and I do much the same thing - everything goes into a joint account and everything gets paid for out of that. We get our allowance split out to separate personal accounts for use as we see fit.
Yeah, so I earn 4 times as much as her, but who cares? She'd be earning more if she wasn't looking after the kids all day. It's not like you get paid for that, so it'd be grossly unfair for me to expect 4 times the spending money just because most of her "work" is unpaid.
Just pray that your salaries don't ever get widely disjointed. It sorta becomes awkward and has been an issue for me recently. I still feel bad when I'm looking at something wishing I could afford it and she says "go on, I know you want it,I''ll buy it for you" which happened just last week when she bought me a mountain bike.
Just not used to being a kept man tbh. As her income has gone up she is buying better clothes, electrical items, better holidays, going to more expensive restaurants etc. Two months ago she paid £28000 cash for a new horsebox. I was happy with our lifestyle and our disposal income. Now it's been upped a level or two and she is paying for most of it, it just feels slightly wrong. Anybody else in this situation?
our family income is £1275 ish net on my salary plus £170 ish tax credits we are overpaying the mortgage so pay £650 a month
we have a decent lifestyle spending a couple of months a yr away at our holiday home in cornwall plus thinking about buying a property in Greece ,we will have finished the mortgage in a few months and im not that old
we have a decent lifestyle spending a couple of months a yr away at our holiday home in cornwall plus thinking about buying a property in Greece ,we will have finished the mortgage in a few months and im not that old
It does seem to be the most common setup amongst our friends also (not horses and PC specifically).
Neither my Wife or I really understand why or how it works. At times I have earned more than she and vice versa but at no time did who earns what really matter.
We are a single entity as such, a family and we both contribute to that single entity everything we have.
Each to their own, but we don't get it when others want to be together, yet separate.
I have no problems being a kept man, or even a house-husband should that ever arise.
That said, our careers paths are pretty much level in terms of pay, so it shouldn't actually happen.
We are together though, and pay for all the things we enjoy together in that way. But if there is £200 disposable income, why not split it evenly and let each spend it on whatever they want? There is no justification for me to upgrade my graphics card other than for my own pleasure, so making her pay for part of that doesn't seem fair.
Permabanned
- Joined
- 28 Dec 2009
- Posts
- 13,052
- Location
- london
It does seem though that it is difficult to keep a reasonable standard of living these days. I guess that depends on what people classify as reasonable. But it is the standard of living that takes a hit when inflation and tax increase.
It just seems the natural way to function as a family unit. We don't even have allowances as such, although to be fair, we enjoy a joint income far above the average my wife being a Chartered Accountant, I work in upper management and have an officers military pension also so budgeting to the nth degree isnt neccessary.
we have hugely differinng salaries ( about 400% ) I pay all the bills, she gives me a contribution each month and keeps some for herself but just has to ask if she needs more
we also have joint CCs which I settle up
You think of yourselves as separate though, that shows in the way you think you are making her pay for something or the need to separate disposible income.
We simply don't have that separate mindset. I'm not denigrating how you or anyone lives, I just don't get it, we discuss pretty much any purchase either of us want to make (normally me and technology) and if WE can afford it then fine. It's simple and works for us.
Associate
- Joined
- 18 Oct 2002
- Posts
- 1,652
- Location
- STOKE
like many many families I earn considerably, hugely more than Mr Herble, and I dont care.
Many of my 'girlies' have a daft list of wish Man List, tall, dark, no children, solvent, professional, earn over 50k, these are normal! ( really) They seemed surprised when I married tall,blond bald tattoed brutal, practical pooter and bike engineer with no house, a kid, and zero earnings potential. Its love, see, not money, and being commited to the future together.
now they are jealous, he has built us the perfect house, great social life, brill hi tech office, and fab bikes and dogs.
now, of coursre, I get the 'its all right for yoooouuuuuu'
Many of my 'girlies' have a daft list of wish Man List, tall, dark, no children, solvent, professional, earn over 50k, these are normal! ( really) They seemed surprised when I married tall,blond bald tattoed brutal, practical pooter and bike engineer with no house, a kid, and zero earnings potential. Its love, see, not money, and being commited to the future together.
now they are jealous, he has built us the perfect house, great social life, brill hi tech office, and fab bikes and dogs.
now, of coursre, I get the 'its all right for yoooouuuuuu'
We went through a phase when I was badly injured and where for two years I didn't earn very much so my wife earned around 4 times what I was bringing in.
It never even occured to me until your post that it really mattered.
I just mentioned it to my wife, and her answer to the question of how she felt was "Never thought about it, and why does it matter? We are a family."
Guess I just need to get used to it and accept it then. Now to persuade her that I really need two water cooled GTX 480's
Interesting read this thread, as i'm just moving out into a new place for the first time with a mate at the end of the month and its going to be tight with the money. Think it will be well worth it as long as I remember that I can't just splash the cash on new toys like I use to!
lol. Mrs Castiel here...you are soooo right. I married a tattooed Royal Marine man-mountain because I love him not his list of potentials. I earn far more than Cas, but it's a partnership, we each bring different things to the whole.
Money...schmoney, everyone has some of that, We have something better...Committment and Love.
You've got £60 a week after everything is paid for, and are complaining?
just doesnt seem much between 2 earners!
.